https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/schoolcorporalpunishment/were-you-traumatized-by-your-cp-experience-s-t3951.html
Dec 14, 2016#1
This may be a difficult question to answer because I am not even sure how to define “traumatized”. However, I can say for certain that my experience did something to me. I’m not sure what, but why else would I still think about my experience 30 years later? I wish I could get more people to talk about their experiences and how it truly made them feel. I know this is a school CP discussion board so I will limit my discussions to that. However, my statements ring true for my home spankings as well. In fact, even more so because my domestic spankings were WAY, WAY more painful. Plus, there were more than just one of them.
Anyway, this forum is for school CP. Although my experience is limited to one, the impact on me must have been enormous. I still think about it to this day. I re-live it. That can’t be good. What does that mean? Did it fix my misbehavior? Yes, it did. However, at the expense of what? I never forgot it. It was only one swat on the backend that burned a little, but I thought my whole world was crashing down. I cried so much. When I think about it today, I get sort of a sick feeling in my stomach. Should this have happened to me at school?
I know that everyone is different. Some people may truly not be bothered. However, many people may try to cover their real feelings by laughing about their experiences and/or saying that they deserved it. Think back to how you actually felt at the time. You were a small child. You were vulnerable. All the adults were bigger and stronger than you. They could do whatever they wanted to you. When they decided to paddle you, there was NOTHING you could do. You were helpless. They made you bend over and take it. They tried to make it hurt. How in the world is this funny? How could anyone, especially a small child, deserve to be bent over and hit? Tell me, am I more vulnerable now as a 37-year-old lawyer or as a little 6-year-old 1st grader? I still think about it and get sad.
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Guest
Dec 15, 2016#2
Hi Julie,
When I read your post I couldn’t help feeling for you and the obvious lasting impact it has had on your life. For a punishment in childhood to leave you with the feelings you now endure is truly horrendous in every sense. There are in my opinion no circumstances where corporal punishment should be inflicted on any child under the age of fourteen and never ever on an infant. This in my book amounts to child abuse in its most abhorrent form and those guilty of it should most certainly be held responsible for their actions.
My reasons for setting an age limit are that I firmly believe that anyone below that particular age can be reasoned with to some extent and if brought up correctly with love and affection can be spared any form of physical punishment. It is after this age when a person needs to be dealt with more firmly and corporal punishment can be a very effective tool in keeping teenagers in line if it is applied sensibly and fairly as it was to me.
Scp at the school I was educated at was only administered after several warnings had been issued to the person receiving it. As I have stated many times the punishments were always in private, fair effective and never brutal. This I suppose is why my opinions on the subject have been formed in the way they have been. I am fully aware that this is not the case in other establishments and obviously your experience has not left you with the same impressions I have formed. It is plainly wrong what you have been through and for the trauma to still be affecting you into your adult life is indeed a tragedy. I really do hope you can one day come to terms with the past and move forward and, I hope that day is sooner than later. My very best wishes to you.
Lisa.
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JulieTX
60
Dec 15, 2016#3
This may be a difficult question to answer because I am not even sure how to define “traumatized”. However, I can say for certain that my experience did something to me. I’m not sure what, but why else would I still think about my experience 30 years later? I wish I could get more people to talk about their experiences and how it truly made them feel. I know this is a school CP discussion board so I will limit my discussions to that. However, my statements ring true for my home spankings as well. In fact, even more so because my domestic spankings were WAY, WAY more painful. Plus, there were more than just one of them.
Anyway, this forum is for school CP. Although my experience is limited to one, the impact on me must have been enormous. I still think about it to this day. I re-live it. That can’t be good. What does that mean? Did it fix my misbehavior? Yes, it did. However, at the expense of what? I never forgot it. It was only one swat on the backend that burned a little, but I thought my whole world was crashing down. I cried so much. When I think about it today, I get sort of a sick feeling in my stomach. Should this have happened to me at school?
I know that everyone is different. Some people may truly not be bothered. However, many people may try to cover their real feelings by laughing about their experiences and/or saying that they deserved it. Think back to how you actually felt at the time. You were a small child. You were vulnerable. All the adults were bigger and stronger than you. They could do whatever they wanted to you. When they decided to paddle you, there was NOTHING you could do. You were helpless. They made you bend over and take it. They tried to make it hurt. How in the world is this funny? How could anyone, especially a small child, deserve to be bent over and hit? Tell me, am I more vulnerable now as a 37-year-old lawyer or as a little 6-year-old 1st grader? I still think about it and get sad.
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Thank you for your kind words, Lisa. I often wonder how different I would have been if I had never been corporally punished. You said you only believe in using CP with kids over the age of 14. Actually, I think receiving it as a teenager would have made it worse for me. It would have destroyed my dignity even more and would have been way more embarrassing.
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Bennyshore
2
Dec 15, 2016#4
This may be a difficult question to answer because I am not even sure how to define “traumatized”. However, I can say for certain that my experience did something to me. I’m not sure what, but why else would I still think about my experience 30 years later? I wish I could get more people to talk about their experiences and how it truly made them feel. I know this is a school CP discussion board so I will limit my discussions to that. However, my statements ring true for my home spankings as well. In fact, even more so because my domestic spankings were WAY, WAY more painful. Plus, there were more than just one of them.
Anyway, this forum is for school CP. Although my experience is limited to one, the impact on me must have been enormous. I still think about it to this day. I re-live it. That can’t be good. What does that mean? Did it fix my misbehavior? Yes, it did. However, at the expense of what? I never forgot it. It was only one swat on the backend that burned a little, but I thought my whole world was crashing down. I cried so much. When I think about it today, I get sort of a sick feeling in my stomach. Should this have happened to me at school?
I know that everyone is different. Some people may truly not be bothered. However, many people may try to cover their real feelings by laughing about their experiences and/or saying that they deserved it. Think back to how you actually felt at the time. You were a small child. You were vulnerable. All the adults were bigger and stronger than you. They could do whatever they wanted to you. When they decided to paddle you, there was NOTHING you could do. You were helpless. They made you bend over and take it. They tried to make it hurt. How in the world is this funny? How could anyone, especially a small child, deserve to be bent over and hit? Tell me, am I more vulnerable now as a 37-year-old lawyer or as a little 6-year-old 1st grader? I still think about it and get sad.
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Hi Julie at 13_14 I had a girl friend and we were at a mixed private school together. she was not just physically punished but humiliated and mentally broken ,this was no more than cruel torture,by a by warped mind to day the headmistress would have been jailed,we were mischeviuos and had even been spanked together in the past by a teacher but this time was on her own and concluded with her being caned in front of her own mother another pupil and the pupils mother.and after 13 strokes of the cane she could hardly walk,I’m not against cp.but this was extreme and unjustifide she never had that same cheeky smile,or mischievous sense of fun after that,It completely changed her so traumatized is probably the right word.
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Another_Lurker
10K
256
Dec 16, 2016#5
This may be a difficult question to answer because I am not even sure how to define “traumatized”. However, I can say for certain that my experience did something to me. I’m not sure what, but why else would I still think about my experience 30 years later? I wish I could get more people to talk about their experiences and how it truly made them feel. I know this is a school CP discussion board so I will limit my discussions to that. However, my statements ring true for my home spankings as well. In fact, even more so because my domestic spankings were WAY, WAY more painful. Plus, there were more than just one of them.
Anyway, this forum is for school CP. Although my experience is limited to one, the impact on me must have been enormous. I still think about it to this day. I re-live it. That can’t be good. What does that mean? Did it fix my misbehavior? Yes, it did. However, at the expense of what? I never forgot it. It was only one swat on the backend that burned a little, but I thought my whole world was crashing down. I cried so much. When I think about it today, I get sort of a sick feeling in my stomach. Should this have happened to me at school?
I know that everyone is different. Some people may truly not be bothered. However, many people may try to cover their real feelings by laughing about their experiences and/or saying that they deserved it. Think back to how you actually felt at the time. You were a small child. You were vulnerable. All the adults were bigger and stronger than you. They could do whatever they wanted to you. When they decided to paddle you, there was NOTHING you could do. You were helpless. They made you bend over and take it. They tried to make it hurt. How in the world is this funny? How could anyone, especially a small child, deserve to be bent over and hit? Tell me, am I more vulnerable now as a 37-year-old lawyer or as a little 6-year-old 1st grader? I still think about it and get sad.
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<div style=”width:100%;background-image:url(“/realm/A_L_123/A_L_trg.gif”);”>Hello Julie,
I’m glad to see that you are still with us. Another most interesting contribution from you at the start of this thread.
You said:
This was I presume with reference to your Elementary School paddling. Please accept my apologies if that is a wrong assumption. We have previously discussed the fact that we both experienced SCP at an early age which made a significant impression on us, and which we still recall very well after many years, 30 years in your case, rather longer than that in mine. We recall it so well that we can virtually relive it, and to an extent it shaped our subsequent course at school and has had some effect on our adult lives, not least that we’ve both been left with an interest in SCP and we’ve both found ourselves here in this Forum.
We have also discussed factors we had in common at the time of the respective punishments. In my opinion the most significant of these was that we were both very anxious to be held in high regard as good children by our teachers and to do well at school. We were devastated to think that we had lost that high regard because we were being punished. Further we both found the actual ritual process of the punishment disturbing, quite apart from any pain involved.
But traumatised? I’m not so sure. Let us consider what that implies. Subject to lasting shock as a result of a disturbing experience or physical injury. Or perhaps having sustained a physical injury.
I can’t speak for you, but no, I don’t think I was traumatised as a result of my experience. It hasn’t greatly affected my life, I’ve done just fine. OK, some might consider finding themselves on a Forum like this a major handicap but me, I’ve found it for the most part very enjoyable. I’ve certainly encountered some most interesting people, albeit only in cyberspace. But then lots of Facebook users consider people they’ve only met in cyberspace friends! As for physical injury, well Miss B’s hand applied to my bare leg certainly hurt, and those hand prints she left behind lasted for a bit and possibly constituted an injury by today’s standards. But compared to flying over the top of a car and hitting the road, or falling off a mountain? Absolutely no contest.
As I say I can’t speak for you. But from what you’ve said here you’ve done just fine too. A qualified lawyer, an active and enthusiastic member of your Nation’s military reserve. Certainly doesn’t sound traumatised to me. You remember that paddle swat, but did it physically injure you? Not half as much as that gas chamber in basic training, or the taser if you’ve gone in for that I’ll warrant. Just like me the experience caused you to speculate what more severe SCP might have been like, but is that a problem? Certainly neither of us seems to have been concerned enough about it to follow up on it.
Now if you said that you were traumatised by the childhood punishments you received at home, especially the switch, few people would be surprised at such a claim. I certainly wouldn’t. As I said to you in an earlier thread that was abuse and might well have blighted your life. The impression you give me though is that fortunately it hasn’t.</div>
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Guest
Dec 16, 2016#6
This may be a difficult question to answer because I am not even sure how to define “traumatized”. However, I can say for certain that my experience did something to me. I’m not sure what, but why else would I still think about my experience 30 years later? I wish I could get more people to talk about their experiences and how it truly made them feel. I know this is a school CP discussion board so I will limit my discussions to that. However, my statements ring true for my home spankings as well. In fact, even more so because my domestic spankings were WAY, WAY more painful. Plus, there were more than just one of them.
Anyway, this forum is for school CP. Although my experience is limited to one, the impact on me must have been enormous. I still think about it to this day. I re-live it. That can’t be good. What does that mean? Did it fix my misbehavior? Yes, it did. However, at the expense of what? I never forgot it. It was only one swat on the backend that burned a little, but I thought my whole world was crashing down. I cried so much. When I think about it today, I get sort of a sick feeling in my stomach. Should this have happened to me at school?
I know that everyone is different. Some people may truly not be bothered. However, many people may try to cover their real feelings by laughing about their experiences and/or saying that they deserved it. Think back to how you actually felt at the time. You were a small child. You were vulnerable. All the adults were bigger and stronger than you. They could do whatever they wanted to you. When they decided to paddle you, there was NOTHING you could do. You were helpless. They made you bend over and take it. They tried to make it hurt. How in the world is this funny? How could anyone, especially a small child, deserve to be bent over and hit? Tell me, am I more vulnerable now as a 37-year-old lawyer or as a little 6-year-old 1st grader? I still think about it and get sad.
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I agree that ‘traumatized’ is a strong and contentious word in the context of SCP, but for some of us, although we have led (and still are leading) lives of unremarkable ‘normality’, there is a nagging sense of something disturbing when we think about our SCP. For me the reluctance to speak about it outside a very narrow of circle of people who I trust is still with me. Reactions when the subject comes up often seem to veer between a kind of nervous laughter about how mad it all was back then and an almost visceral anger at the experience. I think that many people just stop thinking about it in the same way they can’t recall those times when they had minor injuries growing up – it happened and that was that.
I also think that the younger the child and the more severe the cp, the more likely it is to become scarred by the experience.
My own feelings are so complex I hesitate to attempt to analyse them, but I’m not sure ‘trauma’ is a good word to use. Definitely a long-lasting effect, though, otherwise I wouldn’t think about it so much.
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stujos
219
20
Dec 16, 2016#7
This may be a difficult question to answer because I am not even sure how to define “traumatized”. However, I can say for certain that my experience did something to me. I’m not sure what, but why else would I still think about my experience 30 years later? I wish I could get more people to talk about their experiences and how it truly made them feel. I know this is a school CP discussion board so I will limit my discussions to that. However, my statements ring true for my home spankings as well. In fact, even more so because my domestic spankings were WAY, WAY more painful. Plus, there were more than just one of them.
Anyway, this forum is for school CP. Although my experience is limited to one, the impact on me must have been enormous. I still think about it to this day. I re-live it. That can’t be good. What does that mean? Did it fix my misbehavior? Yes, it did. However, at the expense of what? I never forgot it. It was only one swat on the backend that burned a little, but I thought my whole world was crashing down. I cried so much. When I think about it today, I get sort of a sick feeling in my stomach. Should this have happened to me at school?
I know that everyone is different. Some people may truly not be bothered. However, many people may try to cover their real feelings by laughing about their experiences and/or saying that they deserved it. Think back to how you actually felt at the time. You were a small child. You were vulnerable. All the adults were bigger and stronger than you. They could do whatever they wanted to you. When they decided to paddle you, there was NOTHING you could do. You were helpless. They made you bend over and take it. They tried to make it hurt. How in the world is this funny? How could anyone, especially a small child, deserve to be bent over and hit? Tell me, am I more vulnerable now as a 37-year-old lawyer or as a little 6-year-old 1st grader? I still think about it and get sad.
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Julie, for what it’s worth, you don’t “appear” traumatised. I think you have rather a “fascination” with the subject, as we all on this site do, or we wouldn’t be here otherwise. We all have differing views, pro, con, indifferent or just plain interested. So many of us now enjoy re-enacting such events, whether giving or taking.
In our schooldays, most of us were aware that corporal punishment could be a sanction, whether or not we actually were on the receiving end. Clearly from what has been reported here, many of us did receive it and have on the whole turned out fine. The fact that you still talk about it 30 years later is testimony to the fact that spanking is a fascinating subject amongst like-minded people. We tend to keep quiet about it when we are with “vanillas.”
I have mentioned before that I got smacked three times at school. The one when I was in Junior School, around age 10, was thoroughly deserved. The two in Grammar School definitely were not. Yes, I still talk about them 55 & 60 years later with people like you, but, no, they haven’t affected me emotionally. My interest was aroused before then, although I certainly got no pleasure from them at the time.
None of these punishments were particularly severe, and I believe yours was the same. The line is crossed is when we read about the historical abuse cases that occurred in some schools, which appear to be purely for the gratification of the teachers. That is another gether all to thing!!
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JulieTX
60
Dec 16, 2016#8
This may be a difficult question to answer because I am not even sure how to define “traumatized”. However, I can say for certain that my experience did something to me. I’m not sure what, but why else would I still think about my experience 30 years later? I wish I could get more people to talk about their experiences and how it truly made them feel. I know this is a school CP discussion board so I will limit my discussions to that. However, my statements ring true for my home spankings as well. In fact, even more so because my domestic spankings were WAY, WAY more painful. Plus, there were more than just one of them.
Anyway, this forum is for school CP. Although my experience is limited to one, the impact on me must have been enormous. I still think about it to this day. I re-live it. That can’t be good. What does that mean? Did it fix my misbehavior? Yes, it did. However, at the expense of what? I never forgot it. It was only one swat on the backend that burned a little, but I thought my whole world was crashing down. I cried so much. When I think about it today, I get sort of a sick feeling in my stomach. Should this have happened to me at school?
I know that everyone is different. Some people may truly not be bothered. However, many people may try to cover their real feelings by laughing about their experiences and/or saying that they deserved it. Think back to how you actually felt at the time. You were a small child. You were vulnerable. All the adults were bigger and stronger than you. They could do whatever they wanted to you. When they decided to paddle you, there was NOTHING you could do. You were helpless. They made you bend over and take it. They tried to make it hurt. How in the world is this funny? How could anyone, especially a small child, deserve to be bent over and hit? Tell me, am I more vulnerable now as a 37-year-old lawyer or as a little 6-year-old 1st grader? I still think about it and get sad.
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Good responses from everybody. You may be right. Maybe it is just a fascination with the subject and not trauma. As I said in my previous post, I don’t even know for sure how to define trauma. I certainly don’t look back on the experience as being pleasant. It was very unpleasant. Still, unpleasant doesn’t necessarily equate to traumatic. I just wonder why I continue to think about it and why I seek forum like this to talk about it. Unlike some on here, I do NOT engage in any form of spanking as an adult. I have no interest. I do not desire to be spanked now or to spank another person. Furthermore, if I ever have kids, I probably will never touch them. IF I ever did, it would be with my hand only and NEVER with an object. No way I could ever use a paddle or a belt and certainly BY NO MEANS a switch. Depending on the situation, I MIGHT do a hand swat or two.
So, with that said, why do I still have a need to discuss these matters? Why can’t I simply not think about it?
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Another_Lurker
10K
256
Dec 16, 2016#9
This may be a difficult question to answer because I am not even sure how to define “traumatized”. However, I can say for certain that my experience did something to me. I’m not sure what, but why else would I still think about my experience 30 years later? I wish I could get more people to talk about their experiences and how it truly made them feel. I know this is a school CP discussion board so I will limit my discussions to that. However, my statements ring true for my home spankings as well. In fact, even more so because my domestic spankings were WAY, WAY more painful. Plus, there were more than just one of them.
Anyway, this forum is for school CP. Although my experience is limited to one, the impact on me must have been enormous. I still think about it to this day. I re-live it. That can’t be good. What does that mean? Did it fix my misbehavior? Yes, it did. However, at the expense of what? I never forgot it. It was only one swat on the backend that burned a little, but I thought my whole world was crashing down. I cried so much. When I think about it today, I get sort of a sick feeling in my stomach. Should this have happened to me at school?
I know that everyone is different. Some people may truly not be bothered. However, many people may try to cover their real feelings by laughing about their experiences and/or saying that they deserved it. Think back to how you actually felt at the time. You were a small child. You were vulnerable. All the adults were bigger and stronger than you. They could do whatever they wanted to you. When they decided to paddle you, there was NOTHING you could do. You were helpless. They made you bend over and take it. They tried to make it hurt. How in the world is this funny? How could anyone, especially a small child, deserve to be bent over and hit? Tell me, am I more vulnerable now as a 37-year-old lawyer or as a little 6-year-old 1st grader? I still think about it and get sad.
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iankenrick
406
18
Jun 21, 2018#10
I suppose traumatised could be either the witness of it when brutal which I was at senior school in the first year by a beating administered by the headmaster on a boy in my year where myself and another where present and witnessed this awful event
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AnnyKey
7
Jun 22, 2018#11
lacylisa wrote:
Hi Julie,
When I read your post I couldn’t help feeling for you and the obvious lasting impact it has had on your life. For a punishment in childhood to leave you with the feelings you now endure is truly horrendous in every sense. There are in my opinion no circumstances where corporal punishment should be inflicted on any child under the age of fourteen and never ever on an infant.
Hello Lisa,
I Think it’s very interesting up to what age children accept cp and how long adults expect a child or a teenager to accept it.
In my country cp in school was not allowed. But in the time of my childhood (in the eighties and early nineties) a spanking or a slap in the face was a normal thing in many families.
I can remember that the last time I received a slap in the face was in the age of fourteen. At this time I was corporal strong enough to defend myself against my mother. And I did. I hit back.
After this incident she never hit me again.
I’m a little bit puzzled why a teenager who is corporal strong enoug to defend him/herself dont’t do it. At the age of fourteen I felt almost like an adult. And I wanted to be accepted as equal.
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2015holyfamily
360
7
Jun 22, 2018#12
I don’t like repeating (copy & paste) a prior posting. Perhaps I was traumatized but didn’t not know it by that name in 8th grade. The principal promised they we never have had to “get the stick” as was the expression. She had no authority with what went on with her subordinates. Feeling blood tricking down without seeing does not bring out your better angels. A week or so later we were told she had a nervous breakdown but she came back in September and was up to her old tricks! The principal had a superior all in the convent. My life has been so blessed that I could never look at myself as a victim.
Sorry to repeat the story but I will add a few details because you mentioned Jerry Lewis but I refused to play Jerry Lewis in the Mad Scientist around the time of that movie at the time in theses skits she put on. Playing the planet Saturn with hula hoops for rings I vowed never again to be humiliated. At 13 that is more than just humiliating. When asked why I wouldn’t play Jerry Lewis I said in front of the class for personal reasons and then asked what would they be? I replied if I told you they wouldn’t be personal. Then that sister left me bleeding with her fingernails choking me in the corridor hung up with the hangers until I kneed her to the floor. I ran to the principals office crying over and over and over again I didn’t mean to do it. She reassured me over and over again you are a good boy. Haven’t cried since!!!
Through all of this I’ve never felt like a victim for I think those defining moments tell you who you are and make you prouder of it. In life there is a pattern of these moments and the less you change the more and more you are sure of whom you are. Do I let it go? No. Do I trust? No. I’ve learned putting your faith in anything less than God disappoints. What a lousy way to learn but it is what it is.
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Cody60
8
Jun 22, 2018#13
Julie, I’m sorry that was such a horrible experience for you. What I’m going to say isn’t meant to be rude or sarcastic. It’s based on my life experience and I sincerely hope it helps.
Our experiences are pretty much what we make of them and the frame of reference we use. Did the teacher punish you unfairly for something you didn’t do or did she do her job and discipline you for doing something you knew you shouldn’t have done?
The first time I got paddled in school, another boy was teasing me and then we started cussing and shoving each other. A teacher came along and took us to the principle’s office. The principle paddled both of us. At first I was angry with her (the principle) because I hadn’t started it, I was just reacting to a bully but as I got to know her, I realized she was a very nice lady. I also realized that I’d been paddled because I had broken the rules, she was just doing her job. It has a lot to do with perspective.
If we choose to dwell on something and make it a big deal, it will be a big deal whether it needs to be or not. We can also make a conscious decision not dwell on something. It isn’t easy but we can do it.
Again, I’m not making light of your situation. I have some childhood issues myself and I wish you the best.
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