I rang Sue tonight and she commiserated with me about Joe’s infertility and complimented me on how well I had handled the conversation with Joe. She rightly pointed out that although a good start had been made we needed to take full advantage of what she felt would be a ‘honeymoon period which may only last a few weeks. Then like all little boys he was bound to push the boundaries especially as the implications of what he was losing sunk in, and he tried to assert again some adult authority in the home. In the end, for his sake and mine, those attempts need to be not just defeated but crushed in such a manner that he never has the confidence to go there again. The rest of the phone conversation was spent discussing how we would extract maximum benefit from Sue’s stay with us. It’s just three days away now.

I’m so grateful for the guidelines Sue and I have worked out for training Joey. The next few days are going to be very important in establishing boundaries and routines for my little boy. I keep discovering practical things I need to attend to now I have a full-time baby. The other day for example when I sent him off to work in his disposable nappy I forgot to put in his briefcase a plastic bag for his wet nappy. When he took it of mid-morning and put on his big boy undies [those I had put in his briefcase! he felt he had nowhere safe to put his wet nappy. In the end, he stuffed them at the back of his desk draw and at lunchtime went for a walk to a nearby park and put them in a bin.

He has never worn nappies to work before and so the first couple of days he was worried that someone might notice. Building up his confidence so that he knows he can safely wear his nappies anywhere as long as he doesn’t overwet them, is one of the little developmental tasks ahead of him. I need to be careful that I pace things at a level that little Joey can handle.

When he arrived home from work on that first night, he was really stressed. When he come in the door I said “How’s Mummies little boy” and opened up my arms. He came immediately and snuggled his head under my chin, one of the many advantages of me being so much taller than him, and as I put my arms around him and began to pat him on the back in a motherly and way he burst into tears. I immediately thought that something terrible had happened at work but it was just the tension of him not knowing what to do with his wet nappy and that someone might have discovered it before he had time to dispose of it. I led him to the bedroom changed him out of what I refer to as his ’ pretending clothes’ and put him in his nappy, plastic panties, and nursery print Tee shirt. I bought him a bottle of warm milk and as I nursed him I gently reassured him that it won’t be long before he feels as relaxed in his nappy at work as he does at home. I then tucked him up with his teddy and told him he could have a little nap before dinner. When I checked back on him twenty minutes later he was fast asleep. The poor darling was just exhausted. I think the last twenty-four hours have been a big shock for the little chap.