18th Aug
Sandra had an interview at the new pre school. It is almost next door to where Jason works. She thought it went well. Have told her that if she gets the job I would love her to stay with us.
19th Aug
Sandra was phoned today, offered the job and has accepted it. I am absolutely delighted!
Told Jason today that Aunty Sandra had got a job at the new preschool in Kay Road just down from his work and that she was going to come and live with us.
Jason said that he didn’t want Aunty Sandra to stay all the time. I was surprised as they have been getting on really well. Perhaps it was more the realization that a few months ago he would have assumed he had the final word on this decision, now he had no say at all.
I patiently explained to Jason that with Aunty Sandra living here he would have someone to read him stories and play with him while Mummy was getting the meal at night or when Aunty Sandra was getting the meal I could play with him.
“And sweetheart I don’t have a man about the place to help with jobs any more, having an other adult to talk to and help out is important for Mummy”
Jason looked up at me, little tears beginning to form in his eyes, “But I can do things for you Mummy” he said desperate to salvage some pride.
I told him that was very sweet of him but that a little boy can’t do what an adult can. He looked thoroughly crestfallen but cheered up when I said he could still be a big help by being Mummy’s little helper and doing what I asked him to
I have talked to Sandra about the fact that I have never specifically made going to the toilet actually out of bounds for Jason, to do wees. There are two reasons, firstly, it has not been necessary. The fact is Jason loves wearing nappies and enjoys wetting them. Secondly, I do not want to give Jason a place to hide in his mind by him telling himself he has to wear nappies because Mummy won’t allow him to go to the toilet. This way he is forced to be honest and acknowledge that he wears a nappy and wets it, not because someone makes him, but because it’s an authentic expression emotionally of what he is. It’s what toddlers naturally do, and it feels appropriate and comfortable to him precisely because he is still a baby at heart and it’s because he is a baby at heart that he needs a Mummy to look after him and be in charge.
Incidentally talking about no place to hide, a few weeks ago I began giving Jason a vitamin ‘C’ tablet morning and night because he was developing a few sniffles. The sniffles have gone but I have kept him on the tablets because the effect is to color his wetties quite a bright yellow. I was amused the other day to watch the yellow stain spread over the front of his nappy. It was clearly visible through his translucent plastic panties, making his infantile behavior even more visible to everyone, giving both Sandra and I opportunities to engage him in some comments to each other in his hearing such as “Oh oh I see our little baby is wetting is nappy. Doesn’t he look cute! Shall we change him now or later?” It’s important for him that he constantly hears us talking about him as a baby if he is going to develop a strong baby self-image.