Mother peered in my direction and the gift in question. “Yes, they are.” she said with a smile.
“Why” I moaned before dropping my head to look at not one, but five pairs of knickers on my lap!
“To wear of course.” Mother smugly replied.
“Oh.” I sulked. “I was hoping I wouldn’t get any more girl stuff.”
“And I was hoping you’d be a bit more grateful Andrew.” Mother replied, making me feel just a little guilty. “There’s nothing wrong with having a few girlie things, even when you are the man of the house.” she said as she leant over to me. “And if you look here… you’ll see that these are for boys.” she added, tapping her fingernail on the label.
I don’t recall thanking her but she did say ‘You’re welcome’ so I guess I must have. I looked at the label again and said “I didn’t know they made knickers for boys too.”
“They make lots of nice things for boys these days.” Mother smiled.
I put my knickers with my other presents and Mother passed each of us another gift. This time I took a leaf out of Vincent’s book, swallowed my pride and feigned gratitude. To go with my knickers I now have a matching pack of cropped vests. Again the label stated they were for boys, but the style suggested otherwise. Next I unwrapped a pack of girlie white knee socks. Mother said I’ve been borrowing Vincent’s for long enough and now I’ve got my own. I had a little moan and reminded her that I actually prefer wearing tights when I wear the Malham Uniform. Mother said she knew as she passed me my next gift, and low and behold it was a pack of bottle green school tights. My thanks for these was actually genuine, but on unwrapping yet another pack of knickers I returned to faking it. Mother told me that these were school knickers and pointed out the phrase ‘Back To School’ emblazoned on the pack. I noticed it also stated ‘Boys’, so maybe they weren’t so bad, I thought as I put them with my other gifts.
“Andrew you’ve hardly looked at them.” Mother said disapprovingly. “Even if they weren’t on your wish list, you should at least pretend you’re grateful.” she told me. “Sonia can do it.” she added.
I mumbled an apology and picked up the box and looked at it. Mother advised me to open the box and have a proper look, which I reluctantly did. A trembling hand removed a rolled up pair of panties, which I carefully unfolded and laid them on my lap. I gulped and said they were ‘nice’. “They are aren’t they.” Mother said as she took them from my lap, admired them and passed them back to me. These were followed by another gift; a matching pack of white vests with a similar lacy trim. At least these weren’t cropped like the others, but they were just as girlie in spite of the label stating ‘boys’.
I gulped as I envisaged going back to school and everyone talking about what they got for Christmas. Of course I had plenty to boast about, what with the games console, Special Ops, a digital watch and much much more. I’d just have to make sure that I don’t mention my dress or my socks & tights, my vests and definitely not my knickers! “Do I have to wear these at school?” I asked.
“Well I was thinking for after school, when you’re wearing your other uniform.” Mother replied. “But you can wear them at school if you want.” she added.
“Er, no!” I thought. Even if the label does state that they are for boys, they’re still knickers. I placed the packs of ‘school’ vests and knickers alongside my other gifts and received the next brightly coloured offering. I prepared for the worst but contrary to my expectations, this really was something for a boy. A new winter jacket, and a really cool one at that. It had Air Force patches on the sleeves, epaulettes on the shoulders and pen loops over the breast pocket. I thrust my arms into the sleeves and clearly over the moon with it, found my reflection in the hallway mirror. The new jacket did indeed look ‘cool’, but my focus quickly shifted to the green velvet dress and white festive tights beneath it. I returned to the sitting room and Mother asked if I liked my new jacket. Of course I did!
