3rd July.
Have made contact with the sperm bank and we have an initial appointment on Wednesday.
6th July
Sandra has been looking at a job up here. There is a brand new preschool opening just one suburb away from us. Here’s hoping she gets it.
10th July
Interview at sperm bank went well. They explained the contract to us and strongly advised us to allow them to do a detailed medical check just to make sure there are no fertility problems. That made sense to us and we agreed even though it would cost a bit more. First they asked lots of questions about our medical history, then Jason had to under go a detailed examination of his testicles, then he was sent to a little booth with a special condom to capture his semen. While that was happening I was under going my own examination by a really nice woman doctor. Poor Jason was away so long I thought I might have to go in there and help him. I was about to do that when he arrived back sample in hand so to speak. He was given a number of condoms to take home because apparently they need a number of samples over a few days because the sperm count can vary lot between samples. Jason will drop the samples in on his way to work in a special container they supplied us with. We have another appointment in eight days time.
Sandra and I have now come to a set of principles that will guide our relationship with Jason, she code named them our Peter Pan Principles, and there purpose is to completely and permanently infantilize Jason’s relationship with us.
They are:
1.We will focus on looking beyond the adult exterior to the little boy within Jason. We will relate exclusively to that little boy, never to the adult. When he looks into the mirror of our responses to him, all he will ever see reflected back is himself as a two year old toddler.
2.When speaking to him we will always use words a little two year old is likely to understand. If something cannot be explained that way it will not be explained and he will be told that he is too young to understand.
3.We will call him ‘Jasey’ or ‘baby’ or some other term of endearment suitable for a little child, but never Jason.
4.Sandra and I will have adult discussions with each other in front of Jasey about cute things we have seen him do and observations about his infantile behavior and so build up a narrative which will add to his self image as a two year old.
5.Discipline will be psychological rather than physical
6.We will treat the little boy kindly and lovingly, using rewards such as star charts. Punishments such as the naughty mat or being returned to an even more infantile state will be used when necessary.
7.We will keep the little boy status of his relationship with us hidden from others as much as possible so he can continue to work and earn
8.Whenever he is in our presence he will be put into a nappy, disposables if we are in a social situation so they can remain hidden under his grown up clothes and in cloth nappies and plastics when alone with us.
9.We will allow him to pretend that he is ‘grown up’ only when at work and when other adults are with us.
10.He will be given very little responsibility for independent choice. He will be trained to ask Mummy’s permission for even basic things like turning on the TV or having something to eat
11.We will work on establishing predictable daily routines for him just as with any toddler.
12. Jasey will constantly be required to verbalize that he is a little boy by the questions we ask him, so he gets used to hearing himself confess that truth.
13. An attitude of gratitude will be encouraged. He will be taught to say thank you to Mummy and Aunty Sandra for treating him like a baby…
14.We will focus on enjoying him and having fun ourselves with him.
15.Trust will be established by making sure we are one hundred percent reliable on the things we make him dependent us for, e.g. changing his wet diapers, giving him food and bottle etc. We will make those things fun for him so he comes to love those baby things and look forward to them.
16.He will have no authority in household planning and decision making, he will just be expected to go along with Mummy’s plans. Any decisions he is asked to contribute to will be appropriate for a two year old.
17.The term being a “big boy” will be deliberately used as both a goal for him to strive for and praise for an action. It will be used in contexts which emphasizes his babyness, so he ends up feeling very pleased and grown up over very infantile acts. For example. “Can you show Mummy what a big boy you are by lying very still when Mummy puts your nappy on?” Or as praise, “Coming to tell Mummy all by yourself that your nappy is wet is such a big boy thing to do!” In the end we want the term “Big Boy’ to be completely recalibrated in his mind so that while he will never be allowed to grow up, he can strive to be a “big boy” for Mummy and Aunty Sandra.
18.We will monitor each others actions with Jasey and if differences or learning points arise for us we will speak privately with each other so we always present a united front. Being Jason’s Mummy I will have the final say in matters of parenting Jasey
