The door to the bedroom swung open, the noise level trebling and making Rachel cover her ear. “Close it will you!” she called over the roar.
Megan stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She looked a bit tipsy herself, her short black dress slightly askew. “Sorry ‘bout that,” she giggled, smiling drunkenly.
“Having fun?” Rachel asked wryly.
“Sure am! How ‘bout you guys?”
“It’s been a pretty good party, but it’s getting late Meg, I think I should be heading home.”
Megan looked scandalised. “You can’t go! The party’s barely started!”
“Sorry Megan, but we can’t party all night y’know, there are exams coming up,” Rachel reminded her.
“Oh yeah, fuckin’ exams! God am I tired of hearing about that! We can’t all be perfect y’know Rach. We aren’t all like you.”
Rachel frowned deeply. Had she been sober she probably would have just walked away, but though she didn’t show it like Megan, Rachel was a bit drunk herself.
“I’m not perfect Meg, never said I was.”
Meg sneered. “Ha! Not perfect, good to know you can at least admit that. But we still have to keep hearing about that great job you landed, don’t we? You complain about my trip, but you’re just as bad with your bragging!”
For once Rachel looked at a loss for words. Her eyes fell to her feet for a moment while she struggled to respond. Finally she looked back at Megan and she seemed a changed woman, the veneer of confidence stripped away by alcohol and shame. “I’m sorry Megan, I really am. I don’t mean to brag. I just talk about it to… to reassure myself because I’m the one who’s scared. I’ve never had a real job Meg, I don’t know the first thing about it. All I’ve ever been is a student, and it’s all I’ve ever been good at. I can barely sleep at night because I keep thinking, what if I suck at it?”
Megan stared at Rachel like she’d grown a second head. Never in all their years of friendship had Rachel admitted to such a lack of confidence in herself. It took a moment for Megan to process what she was hearing, then she decided to make an admission of her own.
“I’m only goin’ on this trip because I don’t wanna be an adult yet,” she blurted out.
Both Rachel and Brian smiled now. “What? Why you all smiling?” Megan asked.
“We know,” Brian piped up. “Everyone knows that about you. I mean you don’t exactly hide it do you?”
Drunk as she was Megan just shrugged and chuckled in agreement. Then she noticed what Brian was doing on the couch. “Shit dude, is that that fuckin’ book you’ve been reading? You actually brought it to a party!?”
“Yeah, it’s a good book, and it sounds like both of you could really appreciate it.”
“Rachel’s right man, that book is stupid,” Megan told him. “Just some stupid whiny kid complaining about everything. Where the hell did you get it anyway, that thing looks ancient.”
Brian felt the black leather-bound book carefully in his hands, as though considering its age. “It was in the library, found it while I was looking through archaeology books, must have gotten misplaced somehow,” he explained. “And anyway it isn’t just about some stupid teenager. Holden Caulfield is just like us. He’s trapped between childhood and adulthood, unable to go back, but afraid to move forward.”
“Oh, c’mon, spare me! I’ve read the book too y’know,” Rachel joined in.
“Then you’ll understand Rach. Holden spends the whole book being disgusted by the adult world. When he’s asked what job he wants most in the world he says he wants to protect kids playing in a rye field from falling off the cliff at its edge. But it’s all a metaphor. He wants to protect children’s innocence, save them from the phoney and morally corrupt world of adulthood, the cliff.”
The two girls considered this for a moment before Megan shook her head and rolled her eyes. Rachel just looked pensive.
“I mean, think about it. Don’t you find the adult world dirty and corrupt, filled with dangers and responsibilities?”
“Well of course,” Rachel joined back in. “But there’s nothing you can really do about it. That’s why Catcher in the Rye is stupid, it’s pure adolescent fantasy. You can’t just stop time! You don’t get to avoid adulthood. I mean, it doesn’t turn out so well for Holden does it? He ends up in a mental hospital in the end doesn’t he?”
“That’s not my point,” Brian interjected. “I’m just saying it strikes a chord with me and I think it does for you too. I’m willing to say it. I wish we didn’t have to grow up. I don’t want to be out on my own, no money, no job, having to make all new friends.”
And now Megan was nodding too. “I know, it really sucks,” she sulked.