“Besides the end of the year assessment?” I asked. He grunted in reply. “Maybe never,” I said. “But learning Math isn’t just about memorization. It’s about problem solving. It’s about learning the rules and relationships between things and seeing how they’re connected. It’s about-”
Jeremy stood up at his desk. “Why can’t we just memorize the facts? Why do we need tricks?” Jeremy always did have a penchant for interrupting. I’d hoped he’d grow out of it. Not yet, it seemed. I was disappointed. Disappointed, but not surprised.
I stood up tall in my chair, hands behind my back. “There are over a hundred trillion atoms in a single cell, Mr Merriwhether. Would you rather memorize each individual atom, or figure out the patterns so you can worry about the bigger picture?”
The rest of the class looked at me as if I was some sort of guru. Wisdom from the mouths of Littles. Jeremy was not. “Gibson’s not even potty trained! He’s just a Little!”
“JEREMY-!” Grange was getting out of her seat. I didn’t know if Amazons had paddles in their desks or if that was just a rumor, and I didn’t need to find out.
I hopped down from the chair. “What’s two plus two, Mr Merriwhether?”
“Four. Duh!”
“Could you teach me that?”
“Course I could. I know it.”
Damn, I loved it when Amazons got smug. “Then how could I not be potty trained? I potty trained you.” I said.
A beat of silence. Then the class erupted into laughter, and from their eyes and pointing fingers, it was obvious that they weren’t laughing at me, but with me. “Class…heheh” Mrs Grange started hiding her mouth behind her hand. She was smiling. “Settle down…heh…heh.” The laughter didn’t stop. “It’s not that…it’s not that…”
I climbed back up on the chair in front of the board. It was easier the second time. I got a running start. I waved my hands to get their attention. “TO BE FAIR! TO BE FAIR!” I yelled over the laughter (and Jeremy’s angry scowl), “THAT WAS WHEN JEREMY WAS VERY YOUNG!” They started to settle down. Oddly enough, public humiliation seemed to be something of an Amazon ice -breaker. And standing up and waving my arms to get kids’ attention was nothing new. “THAT WHEN HE WAS VERY YOUNG! He’s much older now. You all are.”
Then Mrs Grange threw in. “And do want to act like the older and mature third graders that I know you are? Or do you want to whine about how hard things are and act like one of Mr Gibson’s current students instead of his graduated students?”
That brought everyone back to attention. A few of my former students actually grinned proudly at that. I grinned back at them, but inwardly I sighed. It always came back to maturity, with these people didn’t it? Typical Amazons. At least Mrs Grange didn’t stoop to comparing her students to babies… or Littles. I looked up at the clock. Time to cram a thirty minute lesson into twenty. “As I was saying…”
That afternoon, after school, there was a knocking at my classroom door. I jogged over and pulled the cord on the handle, yanking it down and opening the door from the inside. The towering form on the other side pulled on the door. “Knock knock,” she said, still coming in. It was Mrs Grange. She took a step in and froze. “Oops! Sorry about that, Mr Gibson! I didn’t see you there.”
I was already backpedaling, more than used to Amazons about to knock me over. It was almost like that without some indicator that I was a baby, I was invisible at times and they wouldn’t think to look down, (even when they were entering my room).
“Well hello, Mrs Grange!” My voice became all fake smiles. “What can I do for you?”
“I just wanted to thank you again. About half of my kids, my lower half, too, really took to that trick you showed them during your lunch. If you ever have any others, talk to me and we’ll try to have you drop on by. Maybe get Mrs Brollish to let you get your lunch,too.”
More fake smiles from me. “Oh sure,” I said. “I’ll let you know if I think of anything.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. I just had zero intention of agonizing over Oakshire’s Third Grade Math Curriculum and wasn’t going to lose any sleep agonizing over clever little workarounds. I’d done the other one because I was bored and Grange had stumbled onto it.
What Mrs Grange’s students learned was another method to solve some niche math problems. What I’d learned was to hide my notes and scribblings better if I didn’t want to be put into sudden jeopardy.
“Were you able to get your lunch time back?”