I awoke about an hour later needing to go to the bathroom. I hit the nurse call button buttons several times to no avail. It was apparent that my nurse was busy with another patient. If I didn’t do something about getting myself to a toilet quick, I was going to wet my diapers again. I stood up in the crib and looked through the bars at the floor. It wasn’t that far, true, it the distance was greater than my body height, but if I was careful I ought to be able to get down without too much trouble. I took my pillow and stuffed it in the corner of the crib between the side rail and the headboard, then I scrambled on top of the pillow and tried to climb over the railing. The pillow was too short to let allow me to swing my leg over the railing, so I jumped down and quickly folded the blanket they had given me into a thick packet and placed it on top of the pillow. I mounted my makeshift stepstool again and was able to get my leg over the rail. Then I let myself down the side by holding on to the bars with my hands and letting myself slide down. A minute later I was at the door to my room looking for a public bathroom. I didn’t see anyone at the nurse’s station so I emerged from my room to see if one of the patient’s rooms was empty. I wasn’t too worried about getting back into the crib before they discovered me. All I had to do was push the chair up to the side of the crib and climb on top the seat. From the outside it should be an easy matter to trigger the release and let the side down on the crib. Then all I had to do was climb from the crib to the mattress. It was foolproof. I peeked quietly through an open door into a patient’s room and saw that the TV was turned off. I knew I had a likely candidate in that room, it was unlikely that a child wouldn’t be watching TV in the middle of the day if he or she was awake. If the patient was asleep, the door would have been closed. I tiptoed further into the room and peeked around the corner to look at the bed and confirm my suspicions. The room was empty. Then I turned around and went back to the bathroom. I was a bit surprised to find that the door to the bathroom had a knob instead of a lever. Apparently the University Clinic had not made the mandated changes to the rooms to allow full access to the handicapped. Considering the conversation I had overheard between the doctor and nurse I shouldn’t have been, but I was. The doorknob turned out to be tough. I had to reach over my head and turn it between my hands. I quickly found out that I wasn’t able to turn it enough to open the door. I decided that if I could get a little higher, I would be able to get a better purchase on the handle. So I went back into the room and got the chair sitting underneath the TV mounted on the wall. I pushed it in front of me, making horrible scraping noises until I got to the bathroom door. Then I clambered on top of the seat and gripped the knob between both hands. I almost had the bolt draw back into the door when I heard a voice behind me say, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? Get down from there this instant!”