After a few minutes of light, innocuous conversation, Andrew politely asked Krystyn to pass him the sugar bowl and to both the women’s delight, he ladled five heaping teaspoonfuls of sugar into his coffee cup as if he was a child being allowed to “fix” the taste of the aromatic black coffee by a pair of indulgent aunts before he imbibed the bitter beverage. Becky grinned broadly when he finished stirring his coffee to dissolve the mound of sugar he had dumped in his cup and Andrew asked if he could have some milk for his coffee. Kyrstyn shook her head in mock sorrow and had said that she had run out of milk a few days before. She explained that she drank her coffee black without sugar as did Becky and that she usually kept low-calorie, non-dairy creamer on hand for unexpected guests. She apologized for the inconvenience, stating that she had unfortunately she had run out of creamer the day before when a prospective client had visited her to inquire about an adoption.
With a knowing smile, Rebecca reached into the diaper bag beside her to withdraw a capped baby bottle of milk and suggested he use it instead. As she removed the cap and nipple on the baby bottle poured a dollop of milk into Andrew’s cup without waiting for permission from Andrew, the baby’s face took on a look of absolute horror. Andrew was too shocked by the woman’s chutzpa at adulterating his coffee with baby formula to argue and sat in open mouthed silence. Becky’s baby was another matter. He gooed and gaaed loudly in anxious excitement, provoking indulgent smiles from the two women. Becky ignored the baby’s incoherent objections as she assured Andrew with a smile that there was nothing wrong with the baby’s formula. She turned back to her baby son and said in a patronizing aside, “Don’t worry, Honey! Mommy will always make sure there’s plenty of formula for you!”
Andrew remembered demurring for a moment, feeling guilty about taking the baby’s formula before Becky told him that she had several full bottles of infant formula in the bag. She assuaged his fears about contracting some infantile disease from her baby boy by assuring him that both the bottle and nipple had been sterilized before filling the bottle with formula. She reassured Andrew that the baby hadn’t touched the bottle yet and that the contents were absolutely virgin. For some strange reason, the statement made both women titter uncontrollably.
Suddenly, the import of their tittering made itself clear to Andrew. Despite the fact that he found drinking baby formula in coffee somewhat strange, he lowered his head as he held out the his cup of coffee for the proffered milk in an attempt to hide his flushing cheeks. He realized that the women had somehow divined that he was a virgin and were giggling among themselves at his lack of sexual experience. His personal embarrassment at their amusement turned the acceptance of Becky’s offer of baby formula into a test of manhood for him. If he was man enough to drink baby formula in his coffee, he rationalized, then they would see that he was their equal and quit laughing at him. If he quailed and rejected the offer, than it would prove that he was nothing more than a temperamental child who wanted everything to be perfect before he’d accept food or drink from strangers.