“GeeÖ,” she said with mock surprise. “And all the time I thought you were just glad to see me,” she said with a smirk, trying to add a bit of levity to the situation. “Don’t worry about the clothes, Honey. I’ve already taken care of it. I saw how you looked when I got up this morning. You seemed to have shrunk a little while you were sleeping, so I stopped off at Goodwill on the way home and picked up some clothes for you. They’re in the trunk of my car. I didn’t get any underwear for you I’m afraid, but I did manage to find some jeans and T-shirts that will fit you. We can pick up some briefs for you when we go out to eat. Oh, yes, I also picked up some sandals for you. They were so cheap at Goodwill that I got different several sizes for you. One of them is bound to fit. I did the same with the jeans and T-shirts. Let me get a robe on and I’ll go out to the garage and get them in for you, okay?”
Howard nodded his acquiescence and continued to lay on the bed as she left. A minute later, he had to get out of bed and run to the toilet as another urgent call of nature made itself known. He had just gotten out of the bathroom when she returned holding two large paper bags in her arms that were stuffed with pre-owned clothes. Anita handed him a folded pair of jeans in a boy’s size with a blue cotton packet laid neatly on top. He took them from her hand while she rummaged through the bags to find the sandals she had bought him. He laid back on the bed and lifted his legs in the air to put on the jeans as she put the pair of sandals at the foot of the bed. While he struggled to pull the jeans over his bare legs, she put the bags in the walk-in closet and took out a dress for herself. Anita slipped the dress over her head and redressed herself while Howard attired himself in the unfamiliar clothes she had bought him. Anita stopped to pick up her purse and car keys on the way to the garage following Howard out of the kitchen door and locking it. When she saw him automatically go to the driver’s side of his Suburban, she said, “Honey? Why don’t you let me drive?”
“Why?”, Howard grumped, still upset about his failure in the bedroom.
“Because if we get stopped and you’re driving, you’re going to have a problem,” she answered.
“What problem?”, Howard demanded in an irritated tone.
“Driving without a license,” Anita said simply.
“What do you mean? I have my driver’s license right here in my wallet in my back pocket!”, he exclaimed.
Anita shook her head and said, “It wonít do you any good if we’re stopped. If fact you might get into even more trouble if you showed it to a police officer.”
“Why is that?”, he asked, “It’s not expired. I have every right to drive. My insurance is paid up. My license is valid. I’m a grown man for Christ sake, what’s wrong with letting me drive?”
“Your driver’s license is for a forty-four year old man, right?”, she asked socraticaly.
“Of course it is, it’s mine isn’t it?”, he said with an attitude.
“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?”, she said, springing her trap.
She moved her hands as if washing her hands of his decision and began to walk around to the passenger side of his car, saying tiredly, “Oh, go ahead and drive if you must, but for God’s sake don’t show them your license. They’ll think you stole it. If we’re stopped I’ll tell the police that I’m your mother and that I’m teaching you how to drive. If they ask for your learner’s permit, look sheepish and tell them you left it at home. At least then the worst you’ll get is a ticket for leaving your permit at home!”
“Ohhh,” he said looking abashed, “I guess I don’t look much like my license photo anymore. I donít look like a forty year old man, do I?”
She shook her head “no” in agreement saying, “Not by half, Honey”
Howard said with resignation, “I guess you should drive,” and began walking over to the passenger side of her dark green Geo.