It figured. I had had enough of the baby nonsense and I was unwilling to put up with any more. Eating the baby food had been the last straw. I screamed, “That’s enough! No more! Take this putrid, wretched, vile concoction away from me and pour it down the sink! I’m not a baby no matter what the instructions say! Do you understand me, you big boobed nincompoop? Get the idea through your thick skull! I’M NOT A BABY!”
Gina’s face screwed up and she began to cry. In my pique, I had gone too far. Now she would run to her room and spend the rest of the evening crying. She put her face in her hands and her shoulders trembled as her chest heaved with sobs. I could see she was preparing to make her grand exit. Then it dawned on me what I had done. If she left, I would be stuck in the high chair until she came to get me out. If I didn’t do something about her wounded ego immediately, I would spend the night in the high chair. I looked at the nipple of the baby bottle and knew that there was only thing that would solace her. I would have to drink the formula willingly. I put the nipple up to my face and yelled, “I’m sorry! I was wrong! Look Gina, I’m drinking it. See? I’m going to drink it all down!”
I put the nipple of the baby bottle in my mouth and began sucking for all I was worth. I hate to see a grown woman cry. Gina sat there sniffling and watching while I emptied the bottle. Within five minutes, I had drained the thing. Gina smiled through the tear streaks on her cheeks and stood up to walk behind me. I thought she was going to remove the bib she had put around my neck and flashed her a smile before I bent forward to facilitate the unfastening of the bib. I was wrong, instead of hearing the sound of the metal snap popping free, I felt a gentle pat on my back. She was burping me! I was about to say something to her to get her to stop, when the largest eructation of my life exploded from me. It was ghastly! I must have swallowed huge amounts of air in my endeavors to ingest the formula quickly. I turned my head around and caught a glance of her; she was smiling at her success as a mommy. “Ohhhhh, what a BIG burp that was!”, she exclaimed as if she was talking to a toddler.