The ceremony consisted of the university’s various deans taking turns in front of a podium rattling off grants, awards, publications and other honors received by the faculty under their purview. There was applause, it seemed, after every mention, and once in awhile, someone would be called upon to stand. The grants all came from foundations named for people Tony had never heard of and the awards were all ten times longer than they needed to be. It wasn’t enough to be named So-and-So’s Biologist of the Year. No, you had to be the Recipient of the Award for Excellence in the Natural Sciences – Biological Research, for the year beginning……and on and on it went.
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