The next time the petticoatees spend some time together, they go ten-pin bowling one Saturday afternoon.
It’s a big bowling alley with 20 proper lanes plus 5 shorter ‘kiddie’ lanes with no gutters and colorful kiddie themes; princess lane, space lane, wild west lane, fairy lane, and the magical kingdom lane.
They’ve all been bowling before but none of them are seasoned bowlers.
After a few rounds, Timothy, Nigel, and Andrew go to get their burgers, curly fries, and drinks. Paul and James remain to reserve their lane and make small talk.
Spotting a poster on the wall, James mentions that this would be a great place for a party (noticing a poster advertising ‘bowling parties’).
“Not for the likes of us.” Paul told him. “My birthday party was here and it was horrible.” he says.
“Why?” James ignorantly asked.
“Because I had to wear a dress and had to use the kiddie lanes.” Paul replied. “…and all my cousins came.”
“Are they petticoated too?”
“I wish!” Paul replied before saying it was just him.
“It wouldn’t have been so bad if they were.” he frowned and explained that it was a ‘punishment party’ because he’d cut up all his girl clothes and wrecked his girlie bedroom.
“So Mum dressed me up like a four-year-old in a really short dress with really frilly knickers and…” he gulped.
“And?” James asked.
Paul looked James in the eye and told him that he’s only saying this because he doesn’t want anyone else to be subject to the same humiliation.
“You’d better not say anything to anyone.” he warned.
James promised.
Paul hung his head before confessing to having to wear a nappy too. “…and Mum made sure that all the others knew about it.” he told him as he cast his mind back to the most humiliating day of his life and his worst birthday ever.
He wore a baby pink dress with candy pink love hearts tumbling all over it, white knee socks with a row of candy pink love hearts running up the sides, pink girlie shoes with bows on the toes, and a big pink bow in his short boyish hair.
The dress was so short it barely covered his frilly pink knickers and every time he picked up a bowling ball and hurled it down the lane, everyone could see them and it didn’t take long for them to notice how unusually bulbous they appeared.
Then when one of his cousins started telling the others that he could smell wee, his mother made a real show of the fact that Paul must have wet his nappy and therefore needed ‘a nice clean one’.
To this day, his cousins take great pleasure in reminding him about that day and always ask if he still wears nappies.
“The only time I wore one was that day… well… since I was a baby anyway.” Paul reluctantly recalled.
“It was far worse than any dress.”
“I bet it was.” James gulped.
“I hope my Mum doesn’t do anything like that to me.”
“She won’t unless you give her a good reason.” Paul replied.
“Like ripping up your dresses or wrecking your bedroom.”
“Does it get any easier as you get older?” James asked.
Since Paul is older, he’s had a lot more experience than James has.
“Not really.” Paul glumly told him.
“But you do get used to it… kind of.” he claimed, glancing down at himself.
Even when dressed as a boy he habitually sits like a girl, with his knees and ankles together.
“At least we get to be normal boys often enough.” he optimistically added.
“Yeah I suppose.” James replied.
“Thanks for the warning.” he said as he noticed the others returning with the fast food and fizzy pop.
“Do they know?” he asked.
“About your party?”
“Yeah but don’t say owt… we’re not supposed to talk about this stuff remember.” Paul replied.
After bolting down their burgers and fries, slurping their drinks and having a very childish (yet amusing) burping contest, they played a few more rounds and forgot all about being petticoated boys… for a while anyway.
Eventually the ten-round group ticket expired and they left the bowling alley.
James’s mother was waiting in the car and he put himself on the back seat.
She asked if he’d had a nice afternoon and asked after his friends, before telling him that she’d had a nice afternoon, shopping in town.
“I bought you some lovely new outfits, which I’m sure you’ll like.” she told him.
James was certain that he wouldn’t.
“What’re they like?” he asked, in spite of the fact he wasn’t interested in the least.
He glanced nervously at a number of paper ’boutique’ bags beside him on the back seat.
“You’ll have to wait and see.” he mother said. “So no peeking.”
“Are they dresses?” he murmured.
“You’ll have to wait and see.” his mother repeated, grinning at him via the rearview mirror.
When they arrive home, James immediately asks if he has to get changed.
“Of course.” his mother replied. “There are some clothes on your bed,” she said.
James doesn’t really know why he bothers asking because the answer is always the same and there’s always an outfit laid out on his bed waiting.
Today it’s his turquoise pedal pushers and a mint green kitten T-shirt, so it could have been worse.
As he’s changing, his mother taps on the door and walks in, bringing the boutique carrier bags with her.
“I’ll show you these before I put them away,” she said.
“I thought they’d be nice for summer,” she said as she laid out the items on his bed;
one with a butterfly print and thin shoulder straps,
one with a cherry pattern and wide lacy straps,
one is a pair of dungaree shorts with a novelty bib
and one has blue shorts joined onto a yellow sleeveless blouse.
“Isn’t this bunny sweet?” she grinned, pointing out the dungarees and the face embroidered on their bib.
“Maybe for a four-year-old.” James grumbled.
“Anyway, it’s not a rabbit.
It’s a cat,” he added.
“Oh yes!” his mother realized.
“Well spotted.” she grinned.
“This is my favorite though,” she said as she dug her hand into one of the bags and pulled out a fifth outfit.
James gulped and bit his lip.
His mother holds a pair of blue gingham shorts that are connected to a white blouse with gingham braces and a horizontal gingham band connecting them.
The blouse has short puffed sleeves, a lace-trimmed round collar and on closer inspection,
James notices that the braces and the legs of the shorts are all trimmed with frilly white lace.
His mother shows him the back where the braces cross one another, and a long zip runs all the way up from the shorts to the split frilly collar.
He’s got dresses with a similar fastening which his mother has to fasten and undo for him, but at least they’re dresses.
“How am I supposed to go to the toilet in those?” he blurted.
“You’ll have to ask me to unzip you.” his mother replied.
She laid the prissy lederhosen outfit alongside the others and they both stared at the display.
“Have you chosen a favorite?” she asked after a moment.
James gulped. “Er… not yet,” he said.
“Are they all shorts?” he asked.
“They’re called play-suits.” she corrected.
“I thought they’d be nice for the beach.”
“A deserted one maybe,” James replied as he visualized having to wear any one of them on a busy Brighton or Bridport beach.
“Typical boy… only wants to be pretty where no one can see him.” his mother grinned.
James didn’t reply, he just blushed as his mother began folding them up into a single bundle.
“Aren’t you going to say thank you?” she asked.
“Oh er… thank you, Mummy.” James coyly replied.
His mother said he was welcome before picking the clothes up and opening his door.
“Mummy?” he asked, halting her exit.
“Why do you keep them in your room?” he asked.
His wardrobe and drawers are home to plenty of girl’s clothes,
but they’re all those from the charity shops and Primark…
all the expensive or important things such as his party dress, sailor dress, frilly heart knickers, and nice shoes are kept in his mother’s room.
“Well these are for the holidays,” she replied.
“And your expensive dresses are too nice to keep in here,” she said.
“I don’t fully trust that you won’t damage them and I doubt you’d enjoy the consequences if you did.”
James’s mind instantly flashed back to what Paul had told him about his birthday party.
“Would I have to wear a nappy?” he gulped.
“So you’ve heard about that?” she asked.
James nodded but remained silent.
“And do you believe it?” she asked.
James looked at her, gulped, and nodded.
“Good,” she said.
“Maybe you are ready to have all of your nice new things around you,” she suggested before leaving.
James watched the door close before looking around his room; from his new ballerina poster to the few remaining boy things such as his Ben-10 lampshade.
He gulps as he realizes that probably sooner rather than later, it’s going to be replaced with a Barbie lampshade or worse, a Disney Princess one!
“It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just dressed.” he thinks to himself as he imagines having a full-on girl’s room.