He found this exhilarating, as it finally allowed him to take all of his self-hatred – which had been the only kind he had known since that fateful day when he had sworn away his honour and manhood to that demonic Queen – and direct it against the true author of all this carnage. How many of these poor wretches – humiliated, emasculated, and finally slaughtered by infidels and left to rot – had once been brave, true Christian warriors like him? Like me… He felt, and rejoiced in his sense of recovered strength, but did not allow himself to get carried away in the feeling.
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