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I do not understand why, at 34, someone is not more their own person.

Ok so you still live at home through finances or whatever.

However, you do have your own life

If your mother questions you too much tell her politely or humorously to mind her own business!

You must have friends you can go visit or other girls that you know to go and spend time with and perhaps dress there.

Your mum doesn’t have to know

As you say

The dressing is a big part of your life

However is it really your mothers’ fault that she does not understand this need in you?