If you want something that you can get away with in front of “family” but will look femme as well, when you want it too, you could try what I have done.

I had highlights put in for a “been out in the sun” effect.

If I brush my hair, mixing the highlights in with normal hair, it is a very mild effect,

However, if I wash my hair and let it dry naturally and don’t brush it, the highlighted bits tend to stay close together and give a nicely highlighted hairdo.