No,” she said, sighing slightly. “I’m fine. But thanks though. It means a lot and I appreciate it.”
“Good to hear,” Ted said before hanging up. Though she knowingly wasted what might have been a good opportunity, her conscience was at ease. She had made the right decision.
When Megan was in the eight grade, she had taken a personality assessment test. The test consisted of questions like “I am happiest when…” or “I am annoyed by…” and featured a plethora of multiple choice responses. The point of the test was to determine one’s personality type and give them some perspective on the type of career they might be best suited for. There were leaders and innovators, team players and entrepreneurs in the making. Megan’s test results were something of an anomaly: she was neither a leader nor a follower, clearly not an innovator but no creative slouch either. She worked as well with others as she did by herself. She seemed to be at the center of everything. The upshot: she could do anything.
Megan didn’t place much stock in the test results at the time. She agreed that she was centered, but she saw that as an inhibition rather than a cause for celebration. Amongst her friends, Sabrina had the acerbic wit and Des the exotic charm. Amongst her family, she was the only non-attention seeker. Given a thirteen-year-old’s penchant for melodrama, Megan thought at the time that she wouldn’t amount to anything. She had no grand plan for success.
Five and a half years later, that belief still lingered. Her doubt, however, had always been tempered by the common sense, adult assertion that impacting the world was not an instant process and that life was a difficult shell to crack. Never once, however, had she felt the urge to come out and say, “I want to be somebody!” She had come close several times throughout the long and arduous summer, but her declaration would have amounted to defeat. She was supposed to be going forward, not back. And yet….
“Shit,” Megan grumbled as she helplessly wet her diaper for the umpteenth time that day. “What am I going to do about this?”
People were progressing all around her. Her parents seemed to have rekindled some lost romance, Carrie had taken an interest in art, Jessica had made her peace and gone back to Ricard (the wedding was still on, but had been postponed). Meanwhile, the summer was nearly over and Megan had no boyfriend, no prospects, no idea of what direction she wanted to take in college and no real sense of what she wanted to do with her life. All she knew was what she didn’t want; which was to be stuck in a painstakingly slow transition into the unknown for all eternity. And yet….
“I’m afraid of change,” she mused, practicing a little self-therapy while she changed her diapers. “I’m afraid of so many things.”
Megan finished diapering herself in cloth, slid on her plastic panties and dressed the rest of the way. She tousled her hair and stood confidently in front of the mirror with her hands on her hips. She’d been asking herself the wrong questions. Instead of “what can I do” she should have been wondering “how much longer can I afford to do nothing?”
“Three-seventy is your change,” Megan said as she tore off a receipt and plucked a few singles from the register. “Have a nice day.”
Things at Bledsoe’s had been hectic. Josh was still on hiatus, determined as ever to give acting a try. Vern had asked Jed to persuade him to hurry back. Not only did this countermeasure fail, but in his quest to track down Josh, Jed stumbled onto the set of an independent film and was offered a bit part. With the ranks pressed thin, Vern was as choleric as ever and Megan and her coworkers were left to pick up the slack.
“The price on this display needs to be updated,” Vern groused. “No wonder iced tea mix isn’t selling! People think it costs $9.95.”
Megan looked over at Natalie. There was a steady queue of customers in front of her register.
“I’ll get to it,” she said without much enthusiasm.
“I want you girls to promise me something,” Vern said. “Never, under any circumstances, are you to take up acting. Not if you want to keep your job here. If Josh wasn’t so goddamn inexpendable….
“What about me?” Raul asked from the pharmacy counter. “Can I act?”
“No,” Natalie said with a clever smirk. “No you can’t.”
“You I could care less about,” Vern said with a defeated sigh. “Go ahead. Knock yourself dead.”
Raul’s smile melted. “Keep treating me like I don’t matter. Watch what happens.”
Vern bowed humbly. “My most sincere apologies. Now get back to work!”
Later, after he had returned to his office to harangue the corporate office over the phone, Raul came around the front of the store to further his grievances.
“I say we go on strike,” he suggested, his enthusiasm rising with each breathe he took. “I say when Josh gets back, we stage a mutiny. I say…”
“I say you shutup,” Natalie snapped. The last of her customers had left.
“Girl, what’s gotten into you today?”
“Umm…how about I’ve been busy with customers today and I don’t feel like putting up with idiotic suggestions?”
“Who you calling idiotic?”
Megan finished updating the price of iced tea and walked over to break up the fight in progress.
“You know,” she mused. “I should probably quit right now.”
This brought them both to a stunned silence. Sure, they all complained, but no one thought seriously about leaving. Despite Vern’s malignant attitude, Bledsoe’s was as good a place as any to work in town. Truth be told, it beat the hell out of flipping burgers.
“Well,” she said, savoring their shocked silence. “Maybe not right now. But this is definitely my last summer.”
“Why?” Natalie asked. “I mean, I know why, but you’ve been here so long.”
Megan shrugged. “Just time to move on, I guess.”
“It gets boring when you’re not here,” Raul confessed. “No lie.”
“Thanks,” Megan said, allowing herself a slight smile. “But I’m sure you’ll manage.”
“So what are you going to do?” Natalie asked.
“I don’t know……intern someplace maybe. Office-type work. Of course, that’s after I figure out what I wanna do.”
“Well,” Natalie jokingly suggested. “You could always take up acting.”
Two days after Megan made the decision to ditch Bledsoe’s, she made the decision NOT to ditch her friends. She and Sabrina and Des were walking around town, recapping their summer and getting in some QT (quality time) before Megan returned to school and split them up again. It was a painfully hot day and the girls were decked out in short-shorts and halter tops. They drew their share of stares (mostly from disapproving seniors and horny teens and pre-teens), but the weather made self consciousness a nonfactor.
“I burn way too easily,” Sabrina complained.
“Me too,” said Des.
“How can you even tell?” Megan asked of her tan-skinned friend and they all shared a laugh.
“I think,” Des said with a hint of melancholy. “Pedro and I might be getting ready to call it quits.”
“Aww….why?” Megan asked.
“Our families hate each other and there’s too much tension sometimes. I love him like crazy, but it’s just not gonna work. I hope we can stay cool though….like you and Ted.”
“How is Ted anyway?” Sabrina asked.
“Ted’s fine,” Megan revealed. “I had coffee with him last night actually.”
Eyebrows raised all around.
“Just chit-chatting, ya know. I found out there’s a lot of stuff he does, little things, that drive me crazy. And there’s a lot that I still miss. But…oh well. I mean, if there’s one thing I learned from having Jess around, it’s not to rush into relationships.”
“Is she still getting married?” Des asked.
“Yup,” Megan confirmed. “She still is. The date just got pushed back. My family still hates the groom and there’s still some rough spots between her and my mom, but its a lot better than it was.”
“Gah….I’m melting out here,” Sabrina whined. “Let’s get some ice cream.”
Their cross-town trek did in fact lead them past an ice cream parlor. Just as they were about to go in, however, they spotted Meghan Cole through a window. For once, she was not surrounded by her entourage of friends and didn’t have her arms around a guy’s waist. She was talking on her phone, and, judging by the look on her face, things were not going well. It was still not enough to dim the enmity they all felt for her since high school.
“I hate that bitch,” Des sneered.
“We all do,” Sabrina said. “I sat at her lunch table in the fifth grade. Her and her friends always made me feel fat.”
“She treated me like I didn’t speak English!” Des countered.
Megan, of course, had the biggest reason of all to hate her, but couldn’t feel anything more than a dull pang of resentment.
“Come on,” she said. “Let’s get out of the sun.”
They went in and got ice cream whilst Meghan’s phone conversation went from bad to worse. She now seemed visible shaken.
“Look at her,” Sabrina said. “It’d be so funny if she just started bawling.”
“That’s mean,” Des reproached. Then, grinning wickedly, she added, “I wish I had my camera.”
Megan smiled right along with them, but down inside she actually began to feel pity. Everyone hates the popular kid just like everyone hates the rich kid or the good kid. Megan didn’t want to hate and she didn’t want to be hated. She didn’t want to turn out like Deanna, still harboring a far gone petty grudge after all these years.
“I’ll catch up with you guys later,” she said after they had finished eating. Sabrina and Des gave her strange looks but did not question the decision.
Slowly, Megan approached her like-named counterpart. The phone conversation had ended. She was sniffling.
“That was Ron,” she pouted. “He…he doesn’t want to see me again. He still likes you!”
“Poor baby,” Megan said, half-teasing and half-sincere. “Eat some ice cream; you’ll feel better.”
“Oh, fuck you!”
“Look,” Megan said. “Ron’s got an asshole streak a mile wide. Can you honestly tell me you didn’t see it coming? Or maybe you just didn’t care?”
Meghan remained silent. “I…he….oh, forget it. I feel stupid.”
“Why? Because you had a fling but were expecting more?”
She nodded.
“You had normal, healthy sex with a guy. That’s something I’ve been missing all summer. But anyway, if you want to sulk about it, that’s your business.”
“Why are you being nice to me?”
Megan shrugged. “Because I can.”
She patted Meghan on the head, wiped her mouth and walked towards the door.
“Eat some ice cream,” she reiterated on her way out.
As she stepped back onto the street, she was starting to feel good about herself. She had a full day of activity, meaning she could go home, strip down to her diaper and nap for the rest of the day guilt-free. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like she would even get the chance. Baleful laughter emanated from behind her.
“Just my fucking luck,” Deanna said. “Here I was thinking I was gonna have to scour this whole fucking town to give you an asskicking and you come strolling along. Small world I guess.”
Megan nodded. “Small world indeed.”
A.) She ran back into the ice cream parlor and phoned the police. She would get a restraining order and put an end to this nonsense once and for all. Let the chips fall where they may.
B.) She would end it, all right. Deanna wanted a fight; she would have one. With Jed’s training and a renewed sense of confidence, she didn’t feel nearly as wishy-washy and insecure as she had been. “Know what?” she smarmily taunted. “I’m gonna kick your butt.”
