Frustrated tears leaked from his eyes and splashed onto her hand. Ro shuddered at the warm wetness. Her lips pressed against his forehead in a sloppy kiss. “Ryo. Baby. Don’t. Shh. Don’t cry. Please.” She hugged him hard. He made no effort to stop his tears as they fell faster. He surrendered to the emotions he’d been fighting since Sheila and Marvin’s visit. His bubble of denial had been brutally popped. The dangers of the deep were real, and they could happen to anyone. A hard life lesson that cost him a leg. He didn’t want it to cost him Ro, too. Didn’t want Ro learning that lesson. They were talking in circles, chasing each other. He couldn’t take it anymore.
“I don’t know what to do.” A tremor ran down his slim body. He didn’t feel the front of his thin diaper grow wet as he peed. A sob tore his throat. He didn’t want Ro to give up something she loved, something she’d been doing all her life. He just wished she’d dive in safer waters instead of great white ground zero. Where the abalone grew; where the money was.
“Shh. It’s alright, baby. We’ll figure it out. It’s okay.” Ro’s honeyed voice washed over him as she tried to calm him. He tasted the venom of lies in her sugary words. It was not okay. There was nothing to figure out. She was not open to listening to him. Screw him and his feelings, so long as Ro got to do what she wanted to do. Even if it cost them her life.
His tears fell like rain, soaking his pillow and her shirt. His slender body shuddered with hard sobs as he broke down. Ro held him, stroking his hair and kissing his wet face, trying to soothe him. The gentle tugging pressure of her fingers in his short hair usually soothed him, but not today. Minutes ticked by on the cock and still he cried. He sobbed until his eyes were red and swollen, nose running, and throat hoarse. Eventually his sobs died down to sniffles and his shaking died down to fine trembles. He clung to Ro like a lifeline, as if he could anchor her here with him. Safe and sound. He pressed his face into her shoulder and she hugged him harder.
“Don’t leave me.” He whispered hoarsely. Her neck was warm and wet from his tears.
“Ryo? I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’m right here.” Her tone was startled.
“Please, Ro. I love you. I don’t…I can’t…if I lost you…I…just can’t.” His words tumbled over each other and fell in a jumbled heap from his mouth.
“Oh.” Her arms tightened around him in realization of what he meant. He clung to her like a drowning man. Was she finally opening up to listening, or would she simply serve him more denials and platitudes? “Oh, Ryo…” She sighed and trailed off. His heart twisted.
“Please, Ro.” Here we go round again. I don’t know what else to do. How do I reach you? Please, please. Just listen. “Promise me. Stay out of the water. Just this season. Please. We’ll be okay. You’re more important than the money. Please. Promise me.” He stared up at her, saw the hesitancy in her face. His vision blurred with renewed, tired tears. She’s never going to listen. I’m going to lose her. He crumbled, crying again.
His head was full of images from his nightmares. Sheila coming to visit him, telling him he’d never see Ro again. Police wanting him to identify his wife’s bitten remains. Maybe this really was just trauma from his own brush with hungry death. Maybe he needed therapy. The irrational fear clung to his heart, denying him rest. Never far from thoughts. He needed to know Ro was safe on land as desperately as he needed air to breathe.
“Ryo, no. Don’t…” His sobs drowned out her words. She hugged him hard, rocking him. Running her fingers through his hair again. Pleading with him to stop crying. “Okay. Okay. Shh. Please, Ryo. Calm down. I’ll tell Sheila no if it means that much to you. I promise. No diving. I’ll tell Sheila no. I promise. Just shhh.” She cooed.
“Please.” He sniffled Her words soothed the savage beast that was his fear. They still rang hollow in his ears. Drowned by his own desperation.
“I promise, Ryo. I promise. Oh, baby. Shh. I promise.” Ro started humming his favorite tune. She continued to run her fingers through his short black hair until he fell asleep.