What was supposed to be a few minutes dancing on a podium wearing a scanty outfit became several hours politely pushing myself around a crowded bar trying to collect the never ending supply of empty bottles and glasses, ferrying them an armful at a time back to the bar. My heart was in my mouth the whole time. Claire, Louise and my sister were also collecting glasses and each time our paths crossed, they all asked if I was OK and said I was doing great. “You weren’t kidding about getting my arse slapped!” I said as Janet and I both arrived at the bar. The pounding music belted out some heavy dance beats and forced us to almost yell at one-another. “One bloke even wrapped his hand around my thigh!” I grimaced. “And this music doesn’t help!” I added as the song lyrics included the lines: …we’re gonna make our bitches work it on the floor, wanna see my sexy ladies screamin’ “give me more”, yeah we can turn this club around
“They’re lecherous lowlifes… ignore them.” she said. “Just think of the money.”
“Easier said than done… I swear if my glasses weren’t all empty I’d had thrown one in his face!”
“I know it’s tempting but in a place like this… Look. If it happens again, point whoever it was out to the bouncers and they’ll deal with it.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah… look, I’d best get on… and so should you.” Janet said. “The half price drinks offer ends at seven so it’ll die down then.”
“What time is it now?” I asked.
“Just gone five.”
“Is that all?!” I exclaimed. Janet nodded.
I had no idea just how hard bar work could be until now… especially if you’re a young woman wearing a tiny pair of shorts! Not a single moment went by when some bloke wasn’t smiling at me and looking me up and down, trying to catch my eye. The slaps and gropes were few and far between but I took my sister’s first bit of advice and ignored it. I didn’t like the idea of telling one of the two bouncers, only for them to say you’re a bloke! the moment I spoke. I don’t know how but I somehow managed to get through it all without really speaking to any of the punters. I barely had to even say excuse me as there was always some ogling bloke trying to flatter me by stepping aside. I’d just smile and peep some high pitched noise that rhymed with ‘thanks’ or ‘ta’ as I passed through with an armful of empties. I took them to the bar and hitched up my bra. “So do you dress like a girl often?” Rebecca asked.
“Apart from today, never.” I told her.
“You’re really convincing.”
“I don’t know if I should say thanks or not.” I smiled.
“If anything it’s us that should be thanking you… I can’t believe how many people turned up!” she said.
“Yeah…. seems to be dying down at bit now though.”
“Yeah, the drinks offer ended ten minutes ago.” she said.
“Is it seven already?” I asked. She nodded and said it was ten-past.

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