Judy’s were starting to come to, shaking their heads as if they were waking from a dream. As soon as they laid eyes upon Dante and Lysa, the Judy’s gasped. No shouting of “Orpheus” or “Contact the Saint.” No battle cries or bum rushes. Instead, each angel knelt down and bowed their head.

They were in the presence of the Adam and Eve of Limbo. These two were idealized perfection about to fall from Grace. Whether from some form of reverence or pity, the Judy’s all stayed their hand, and waited.

“Come with me,” Dante whispered.

Lysa shook her head. “I can’t,” she told him. “I can’t leave Caroline. Stay with me. Don’t go to Hell. You don’t deserve that.”

“We all deserve it,” Dante said.

“Doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be avoided at all costs.”, she pleaded. She hugged him harder. “I’m not letting you go, Dante. I refuse.”

“BOY!” an ancient voice boomed out. “STOP THIS MADNESS!” It was Saint Jude. Floating in the air above them. “STOP THIS AT ONCE AND I SHALL SHOW YOU LENIENCY!” He commanded.

“SORRY OLD MAN!” Dante shouted back defiantly. “YOU DON’T GET TO MAKE THE RULES! NOT THIS TIME!” He leaned over and whispered in Lysa’s ear. “I love you. I’ll always love you. I am so sorry.” Then with all his might he bit down into her ear. Her screams echoed out into the open air. The Judy’s all covered their ears at the sound of her pain. Dante torqued his neck and clamped down on her ear.

With horrendous effort, followed by a sickening ripping sound, Lysa’s ear came lose in Dante’s mouth. She let go of him and covered herself retreating back into the fetal position. The hair on her womanhood was already beginning to recede. Dante spit the ear down next to her so it could be reattached. Then, he took a step back and unfolded his arms, mimicking a cross. He fell back into nothingness.

He freefell into oblivion, past the clouds. The scene changed to an ever darkening night sky, the stars twinkling like candles in the background. Long drop. Very long drop. Dante’s descent seemed to slow for an instant.

“NO!” Saint Jude’s voice boomed from the clouds. “I CANNOT LET THIS PASS!” In half a second, he was on Dante, his gnarled hands reaching out to snatch him up and drag him back to Limbo.

“NOT THIS TIME MOTHER FUCKER!” Dante roared. “THIS TIME, YOU LOSE!” Dante swatted away the old man’s hands with one arm and struck at him with another. Dante felt a satisfying crunch as he connected, breaking the self-righteous bastard’s nose. Not dismayed, Saint Jude reached down and grabbed Dante by the wrist. Dante’s fall slowed to a stop. Jude’s grip like a vice. Dante dangled helplessly by his wrist.

It couldn’t end this way. It just couldn’t. Through sheer willpower Dante pulled himself up and bit into the Saint’s arm. The old man cried out in pain as Dante tore with his mouth like a dog with a bone. (Thanks Dori) Blood poured into Dante’s mouth…so a Saint could bleed after all.

The grip on Dante’s wrist loosened and Dante didn’t hesitate to swing with his free hand. He stiffened his palm and swung his hips the opposite direction as he connected with the Saint’s elbow. A sickening, satisfying cracking of bones greeted Dante’s ears, and Dante laughed in the old man’s face as his elbow bent the wrong way.

“Finally free”, he thought, as he fell into the blackness. Finally Free. He was a man.

Dante was awake before he opened his eyes. Either that or he was in complete darkness. Soft tinkling music permeated the air, like a lullaby.

“Wakey wakey, baby Dante,” a Judy’s voice caught his ear. “Time to get up and start your first day.” He hadn’t made it out after all. He slowly opened his eyes.

Wooden bars were in front of him. He was in a crib, again. The fleecy feeling on his skin told him he was in footie pajamas and the crinkle and bulge between his legs confirmed he was back in diapers. Something was wrong though. A Judy peered down at him in the crib, smiling wickedly. Not just any Judy though; the Judy in the nursery scrubs. His Judy. And she was enormous.

He brought his hands up in front of his eyes. They were tiny, pudgy little things. He reached to the top of his head and felt only a few wisps of hair poking out. He screamed in shock and a high pitched squeal came out instead. She wasn’t giant; he was now in the body of a baby. Fuck! He had to sing, he had to sing, he had to sing. He had to get out of this place!

“Blabble abbbble goo gaa!” came out of his mouth instead of any actual words or identifiable melody.

“Poor, poor, STUPID…BABY…DANTE!” the nanny said mockingly. Her eyes literally flashed red for an instant. “You couldn’t think of any worse torture than being treated like a baby for all time. Well you know what? Neither could we.” She unbuttoned her blouse and reached down and picked Dante up. “We just made some improvements.”

“I was sooooo mad at you when you knocked me off the path.” she continued, “Taking care of little babies just like you was all I knew how to do. But now, I have a new name and a new purpose. And that purpose is making sure that you’re the best baby ever!” She brought Dante’s lips closer to her nipple and shoved his face in.

Dante cried as he began suckling. All hope abandoned. All bravado drained.

“Don’t worry though, baby Dante,” the fallen angel cooed as she stroked Dante’s bald head, every word honeyed with venom. “this isn’t angel milk, any more. You won’t forget who you are, or regress, or anything. But I’ll still get to feed you and burp you and dress you and change your diapers and bathe you and read to you and play silly little games with you. You’ll just be a big strong MAN trapped in a BABY’S body. Doesn’t that sound fun? Mama Lucy will take such good care of you.”

Epilogue: