It’s sad.
Bow Kid is still strangely timid as you both sit in the airconditioned lounge, sewing together her cardigan. The weather makes you realise that the cardigan is probably not summer clothing, but maybe she can wear it at night soon. You thought she was feeling happier during the bath, but her sullenness returns shortly afterwards. Still, you want to Bow Kid out of her funk, so you try asking her things.
“Why the skirt?” you ask.
She looks back uncertainly.
“What about it?”
You shrug.
“Like… for nappies.”
“Well — um,” she says, clearly trying to think.
After a moment she tugs her t-shirt up, exposing her nappy peeking over the waist of her skirt.
“So, I have to loosen it and pull it up because its tall .”
“Oh — okay,” you say, her words making a lot of sense.
You’d obviously have to take your shorts off for a change. Still, it didn’t spark any conversation. Instead, your worry grew. Eventually you, just had to ask.
“Are you okay?” you ask quietly, an obvious edge of worry in your voice.
Bow Kid frowns at the question, her eyes down at the sleeve she was sewing together.
“Yeah,” she replies.
The words hurt, because you know she isn’t. You can feel your eyes wetting, unable to respond when Bow Kid looks up at you. You can see her lips quiver as you try to swallow the lump forming in your throat. She sags, looking dejectedly at you.
“I’m sorry you got — got caught up in… all this,” she whispers, her voice sad.
You blink numbly back. That… wasn’t at all what was bothering you. You were sad because Bow Kid was sad. You liked the nappies and were happy to be caught up in it. You just didn’t want Bow Kid hurting; it was too painful to watch. You wanted her happy, with that infectious bright smile on her face, that smile that made you want to engulf her in a huge hug. You loved her, and watching someone you loved hurt so much, hurt you too.
“T-that’s fine,” you stammer out, suddenly feeling the tears coming. “I just want you to be happy. I’m sad because I —”
You come to a halt having decided what you’ll tell Bow Kid. Chewing your lip nervously, you look around, spotting mum on her computer. But not here — you won’t say it here where mum might hear it.
Getting to your feet, you hold your hand out for Bow Kid, a sad, slightly teary smile on your face. Taking your hand, you pull her to her feet and lead her to your room. Your arms are wrapped around her in your best impression of a bone-crushing hug the moment the door snaps shut. You try to strangle the sob forming.
“I don’t mind any of this — I like this,” you tell her adamantly. “You’re so important to me, and I want to see your happy — happy and smiling,” you add, a wet smile on your face.
Bow Kid sniffles, brushing away a tear with the back of her hand.
“Really?” she asks, her voice strangled.
“Really.” You nod.
“Even having to wear nappies?”
“I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.”
Bow Kid slowly nods, clearly thinking about your words.
You want to confess all, and tell yourself you will, but in the meantime, you procrastinate, leading Bow Kid to your bed where you both sit. Backs against the headboard, you cuddle up to her, suddenly feeling clarity. Clarity in that Bow Kid won’t think badly of you, and that she might even understand.
“I like this,” you tell her. “I — I like being in a nappy,” you quietly confess. “It’s nice. It’s really nice, and I get to be in one with you.” You place your head on her shoulder, your cheeks heating in embarrassment.
Bow Kid is silent for several seconds.
“You… want to be in a nappy?” she quietly asks, surprise tinging her voice.
“Yeah,” you breath. “It’s nice being looked after.”
“You’re not supposed to.” There’s no heat in Bow Kid’s words.
You shrug, lifting up your heat and giving her a small smile.
“So?”
She gives you a small, almost shameful smile.
“It has always sounded nice,” she confesses, her face flushing.
The words make your heart race, knowing Bow Kid thinks so too.
“I was glad when mum suggested it,” you add before frowning. “I wish you didn’t get hurt before it, but I do like it.” Your smile returning, you try to give her a reassuring look. “Besides, then you don’t have to worry about accidents anymore. I wish we’d been in nappies earlier, so that didn’t happen to you.”
Her smile got wider, more thankful.
“Yeah.” You pull Bow Kid back into a hug. “I just wish it could be forever.”
Her words ring true to your ears.
T_T_T
You and Bow Kid have her cardigan all sewed up by dinner time. You still need to add buttons and the kitty cats, but otherwise it’s ready for wearing.
Bow Kid’s eyes go wide as she puts on her home-made cardigan for the first time.
“Wow,” she whispers in awe. “This is so cool!”
You’re bouncing enthusiastically on your feet, enjoying the sight of Bow Kid trying it on for the first time. You make an affirmative hum as Bow Kid spins slightly, letting the cardigan and her skirt fly. The sight makes you giggle.
“Wow, that’s very good,” mum compliments as she comes into the lounge.
“You really think so?” Bow Kid asks, suddenly self-conscious about her work.
Mum glances at you, giving you a knowing look.
“Have you seen my daughter’s first attempts?” she asks humorously.
Bow Kid giggles.
“Yep!” she replies. “It’s bad.”
You try not to laugh as mum smiles knowingly.
“Now, do you two need a change?” she asks.
You squirm slightly, feeling the wet mass between your legs. You could feel how your wet nappy had swelled against your shorts, but it wasn’t tight or uncomfortable.
“Maybe?” you reply, not sure about it. Maybe your nappy was close to leaking, or maybe not. You didn’t really know yet.
“I’m okay for a bit,” says Bow Kid.
“Good until after dinner?” mum asks. “I think you two could do with an early bed tonight, so I can change you then.”
Bow Kid nods. “I’m okay,” she says more surely.
“What about you?” mum asks of you.
“I… don’t know.”
Having not gone to the loo beforehand, you’d only kept for nappy dry for a bit. So, maybe you’d gone more than Bow Kid.
“I’ll check then,” says mum.
You’re not sure what to do, so you just stand there blushing as mum pats your bum.
“It’s been a while, but I think you’ll be okay until after dinner.”
T_T_T
Even with the air conditioning going, it feels warm in your room. Bow Kid is readjusting her skirt over her fresh nappy, and you’re debating putting your shorts back on. Mum says that you’re off to bed as soon as you have both brushed your teeth.
“I’ll be back in five minutes, okay?” she tells you as she puts the wet nappies in some plastic bags.
Deciding it’s too warm, you forego the shorts and go brush your teeth dressed in just a nappy and t-shirt.
“I can see your nappy!” Bow Kid singsongs as she follows you into the bathroom.
You wiggle your bum, trying not to giggle behind a mouth of toothpaste.
You go back to brushing and after spitting it out, you look back to find Bow Kid undoing her skirt. She lets it drop to the floor before stepping up onto the bathroom step stool next to you.
“Now we’re the same,” she declares.
“Yep,” you reply, before wiping away the toothpaste.
You’re both just in a nappy and t-shirt as you cuddle up to each other in your bed. It feels right and comforting, and you’re certain you drift into a comfortable sleep before mum can come by and turn off the lights.