The store was unlike anything Julie had ever seen. About the size of a small boutique, this place housed not clothes, but aisles and aisles of diapers. There was a disposable section, a cloth diaper section, a section of plastic pants, and even a section of odds and ends, like baby powder and changing pads. Soft music played in the background, and there were a few customers here and there, all buying diapers of various sizes. Julie turned to see a display with children and adult size models, not babies, wearing different style diapers or plastic pants of various colors and prints. ‘Where the heck am I? What on earth am I doing here’? Julie wondered to herself.
As if out of magic, and to Julie’s shock, here mom was there too, right next to her in fact. She was examining a package of diapers from one of the aisles. She turned to Julie and looked like she had just found something she had been looking for.
“Here we are honey.” She said as she turned to Julie holding a rectangular white plastic package of disposable diapers. “These should fit you.”
Julie didn’t know what her mom was talking about. She had just turned 15 and hadn’t worn a diaper in who knows how many years. Did they even make diapers her size? Is that why she was in this shop?
Before Julie could even begin to think of what to say, a salesperson appeared out of nowhere. The woman was probably about 25, and looked a lot like Julie’s math teacher, Ms. Scott, short and athletic like a gymnast. The sales woman went up to Julie’s mom and asked, “Do you need any help finding anything?”
Julie’s mom smiled at the woman, happy for some help. “I’m not sure but I hope so. My daughter is going to start wearing diapers again, and I just want to make sure I get something that fits right.”
The woman turned to Julie and smiled widely, “Back to diapers, huh? That’s just great. Lets see, your pretty small still, I doubt a medium would fit.” She looked again at what Julie’s mom had in her hand. “Yes, those should work fine. But if you really want to be sure we should take her to one of the changing areas and give it a try. Would you like me to help you change her?”
“That would be great.”
In what seemed like the blink of an eye, Julie found herself staring at the ceiling on a changing table, which amazingly was big enough for her. The saleswoman had just taken her pants off, and was grabbing a fresh, white diaper. She started to put the diaper under Julie when suddenly the store’s ceiling went dark. Julie was still on her back, but she wasn’t in any store. She was in her bed. A quick look at the clock told her that it was 2:30 in the morning.
Another dream.
That made the third diaper dream this week. Julie let out a sigh, and rolled over. These dreams were nothing new. She had had them for as long as she could remember. In fact, some of the very first dreams she ever remembered involved her getting diapered. Recently the dreams had been happening more frequently. What had been a once every month or so thing, had become a near nightly occurrence.
‘Why do I keep dreaming about this?’ Julie asked herself. ‘Probably because you really want to find out what it would be like’ she answered. Her curiosity about diapers had been around as long as the dreams. She had always wanted to know what it would be like to be put back in diapers. The only thing she was never sure about was whether she wanted to try diapers again because of these dreams, or if she was having these dreams because she really wanted to try diapers.
Lately, she had really been thinking about the whole thing. The idea and thought of wearing diapers again had begun to occupy a large amount of her time. Anytime she had nothing to think about, the thought of wearing diapers would just pop into her mind. Julie had in fact resolved to just do it, put one on and figure it out so she could stop wondering, many times. But she had never been able to go through with it. There were too many complications. ‘Where on earth would I even get them?’ she often wondered. ‘What if mom or dad found out?’ She had thought of a few different ideas. Truth be told, after all the time she had spent thinking about it, she had thought of every idea possible. There was one plan that might work. She had played with the idea a number of times, but bringing herself to actually go through with it was all but impossible.
But for some reason tonight was different. Maybe because the dream had been so vivid, or perhaps it was something in the stars. Whatever the reason, Julie decided that enough was enough. This had to stop, this wondering, these dreams. She knew she was beginning to obsess, and she knew that wasn’t healthy.
“That’s it. I’m going to ask.”