It was at this time that I discovered the top shelf magazine. The first one I ever bought was “Spanking Letters” which cost £3 and back then when you only had £25 a week Youth Training Scheme allowance was very expensive.
With the top shelf magazines I learned very quickly to purchase them from Indian shops because the Indians seemed much more discreet than the English. The Indian shops would discreetly put the magazine in a bag for you take your money and that was it, transaction over. The English people however would want to stand there and have a conversation with you which would be embarrassing.
Also at this stage I started to discover shops in London that catered for this type of thing one being “love joys” (no relation to the TV program) and another called Janus which I seriously have respect for.
Janus the shop in Compton Street Soho must have been open since the early 70s and is still open today. The never seemed to have a problem with you going in the shop and browsing through the mags before you bought, so longs as you did buy.
I think to a degree some of the people in the shop did eventually begun to recognise me because at the time I was so young.
At the age of 18 I visited my first dominatrix and was Slippered for the first time in say 4 years. This wasn’t exactly the most memorable occasion. God bless the woman who did it but she wasn’t exactly mature. Its just a case of the money was there so I thought why not.
Around this time also a couple had answered a contact I had placed in a magazine seeking a strict aunty. Like I have already said I was very naive back then and this was to be first time I had ever had sexual intercourse properly.
On reflection I took a serious risk because her husband was a bouncer in a Wigan night club and I never was 100% sure of his intentions. He was also built like a brick shit house and scared the living daylights out of me. Having said this they were both very accommodating to me and naturally I did get my backside tanned by Aunty Rita. I was to see Aunty Rita at least four times. Once when I went to Wigan, the other times she came down Richmond and we stayed in bed and breakfast.
After this experience I did start to become a little more confident with women though not as confident as I probably should have been. Also the fact remained if I dared mention any of this spanking lark they would run a mile. I don’t think this was because it was so wrong to have a spanking fetish it was more the fear of the unknown and how society perceive people like us. At times I did take the risk and I did let partners know. However there were a few occasion where this out of spite and much to my embarrassment was spread about the town where I use to drink.
It was about at the age of 24 I started to realise that I was not the only one, however at that time my youth had faded. I can’t sit here and say I had a wasted youth because I didn’t however some aspects made it very difficult to feel like the rest. I had a lot of guilty feelings not only for being into the spanking thing, but for also being into things like punk rock.
About this time I got in trouble with the police which came close to prison I also started a relationship with smoking green as a form of escapism
