Alice finished the first glass and immediately demanded more. After the second large helping, Alice was feeling very fine indeed. She was still very aware of her fingers and toes, but they seemed to tingle in a relaxing, somewhat amusing sort of way. Alice giggled in spite of herself. She continued to giggle until she broke into an all-out laugh attack.

Isn’t that just the cutest thing? Said the Hatter. He took a large bite out of the side of his teacup and chewed it slowly, all the while watching Alice. She was staring intently at her hands, constantly counting each one.

What are you doing?? Asked the March Hare.

Counting my finger. Alice said.

Why?? Came the reply.

‘to ensure they don’t run away. I can barely feel them. While she was talking, she was swinging her legs back and forth, enjoying the feeling of her limbs, which seemed much heavier than usual.

Do your fingers often run away from you?? Asked the Hatter, genuinely interested. I haven’t ever seen anybody’s fingers run away. I once saw a man’s head run away from his body, but that wasn’t by his choice. It was the Queen’s doing.

Alice smiled dumbly and responded, I’ve never had a finger run away, although, in this place, it wouldn’t surprise me if they did. Nothing is strange here. Not like where I come from, where everything’s all so boring and plain.

It’s all a matter of perspective, my dear. Said the Hatter as he poured her a third cup. What seems unusual and out of a place where you come from is very common here. Much the same way that I’m sure we’d find those things you say are ‘boring’ to be quite interesting and different. It just depends on how you look at it.

I agree. Said the mouse in the teacup, recently awakened. Although I’m not sure what was said. His head bobbed below the tea’s surface and he began to drink the liquid down until his face reappeared on the surface.

This set Alice off on another fit of laughter, as she was enjoying herself for the first time since she’d gotten to this strange place. Her body rocked with laughter and she almost didn’t notice as her bladder began to let loose and her diapers began to get wet. It started as a slow trickle, but before Alice knew it, she was peeing at full force. There was nothing she could do to ebb the rush of fluid. She stopped mid-laugh and looked down. This, of course, caused all eyes to focus on Alice, and all other conversation and activity to cease. Above the silence could be heard the sounds of her bladder releasing a steady stream into the once-clean diaper.

Are you quite alright dear?? Asked the Hatter.

Alice, obviously embarrassed, tried to stay cool. I’m fine. Just a little wet, that’s all.

The Hatter tried to comfort his crestfallen guest. Remember dear, that it’s all a matter of perspective. He patted her on the shoulder.

Yes, that’s right. Agreed Alice, trying to regain some of her composure. I just didn’t want good diapers to go unused. She forced a smile.

‘that’s right! Now you’re getting it!! Smiled the Hatter. How about another cup of tea, to warm the spirits?? He poured Alice another cup, which Alice drank in spite of herself.

Or warm your diapers!! Chortled the March Hare. Everyone laughed with the exception of Alice, who was still trying to get comfortable in her damp undergarments. She shifted in her seat, unable to get relief. Her diapers clung to her skin and no matter which way Alice moved, they continued to irritate.

Please, could I have something to take with me to hold the tea?? Said Alice.

What’s the matter? Not having fun anymore?? Cried the March Hare. He was still chuckling at Alice’s discomfort.

No, no, it’s not that. I just need to be on my way. You see, I need to get back to my friend.

Nonsense. Remarked the Hatter. We’ll be your friends. You needn’t go anywhere. Finish your tea. He gestured to her unfinished cup of tea.

Alice smiled politely and took a drink of her tea just for show. Please, she said, growing rather impatient, I really need to be going. Can I please just borrow one of your teapots? I’ll bring it back, I promise.

I’ll lend you a teapot, but first, you must have some cake. Said the Hatter, presenting a large round cake. It was glazed and frosted, and under most circumstances, Alice would have delighted in partaking of such a treat, but her head was still spinning from the Hatter’s tea and she was sitting in soiled diapers.

No really, I couldn’t.

Yes, cake. Everyone must have cake. Clapped the March Hare. Wake up, little Dor Mouse, it’s time for cake.

What’s this?? The Dor Mouse opened his sleepy eyes and climbed to the top of the teacup. He smiled as the Hatter placed a small plate full of crumbs near the cup of tea.

The March Hare was already halfway through his slice of the cake, and the Hatter was dealing Alice her piece. It was a large slice, but no larger than the ones the Hatter and March Hare were enjoying. The Hatter set it at Alice’s place and then began to eat his own slice.

Alice looked around for silverware and found none. What’s the matter? Don’t tell me you don’t like cake. Said the Hatter. He looked hurt. No cake, no tea. He finished matter-of-factly.

Where are the forks?? Asked Alice.

No need. That’s why you’ve got fingers. Said the March Hare, his mouth full of spongy cake. You’ve still got all ten of them, right? None have run away, have they??

Alice smiled at the thought of her earlier remarks. She took a deep breath and grabbed a large handful of the frosted dessert. She was already very full from the tea, but if this was the only way she’d get the tea, she’d have to make the most of the cake.

She took a big bite and marveled at the taste. It was a very familiar taste, but not one that Alice could place. It was sweet, but not too sweet, and Alice savored it as best she could. She washed it down with a final swallow from her teacup, then she continued eating. By the time she was done, she felt like she would explode. She was stuffed, and her hands were covered with sponge cake and frosting. She licked the excess of her fingers, trying at first to be as grown-up as possible. By the time she was finished with the last little bit, however, she was smacking her lips and taking great pleasure in being as loud about it as the rest of the party guests.

‘the cake was delicious, but I really, really must be going. Alice reached for the teapot, but the Hatter slapped her hand.

Not yet! We have to finish the cake. He scolded.

I’m full. Stuffed. There is no more room for cake. Pleaded Alice. Please! You’ve been a wonderful host, but I must get going.

Nonsense. You must stay and eat cake. Prodded the March Hare.

I agree. Said the Dor Mouse.

Alice knew she could stomach no more cake and no more Hatter. She pointed off to the bushes. Look! It’s the Queen!!

In the melee that ensued, the Hatter dashed from his chair and tripped over his own two feet. The March Hare threw the teacup he was holding high into the air, after which he dove beneath the table, and the Dor Mouse took a huge swallow of air and tried to hide in his teacup. It would have worked, however, he’d drank almost all of the tea, and the cup was nearly dry.

Alice, knowing the Queen was nowhere in sight, grabbed the nearest teapot and made a break for it. She raced past the house and didn’t look back. Behind her, she heard the angry voices of the Hatter and his friends, but they were too far behind to catch up.

She reached the caterpillar and had to stop to catch her breath before she could say anything. She was winded from having run the entire way back, but she had managed to keep control of the teapot and hadn’t lost a single drop.

Finally, she announced, I have the tea.

The caterpillar smiled. He took the pot from Alice and said, Let’s get going. I’ll take you to the Duchess house, and there we’ll make your shrinking potion. After that, you and the Duchess will be off to see the Queen. Oh, she’ll be so excited!!

First things first. Alice said. She collected her diaper bag and once again changed her diapers. She was glad she’d decided to use the powder, as it had helped prevent Alice from getting diaper rash. After she was powdered and diapered in a fresh set of warm flannel diapers, she and the caterpillar set out for the Duches’ house.

They headed off towards the creek bed where Alice had collected the green weeds, but just before they arrived at the creek, they veered off onto a path Alice hadn’t noticed before. They wound their way through dense forest and thick underbrush, and before long they made it to a small cottage bordered by a picket fence. Even from outside the fence, Alice could hear the sound of a baby wailing away.

You weren’t kidding about the baby. She commented.

They let themselves through the gate and Alice was about to knock on the door when a plate came flying through the open window just beside them. It landed with a crash and broke into a dozen pieces. Alice looked at the caterpillar. He seemed unfazed by the incident, and that’s when Alice remembered what the Hatter had said.

It’s all a matter of perspective. She told herself.

What’s that?? Asked the caterpillar.

Nothing. Just talking to myself.

Well then, let’s get inside. Time stands still for no one.

Once inside, Alice hid behind the caterpillar, who was still carrying the pot and weeds, while she watched for more flying dishes. Plates, cups, and even silverware whizzed past, but none so close that Alice thought they might hit her.