Good afternoon, my dear. The caterpillar announced in a pleasant tone.

Why, Cassius, I didn’t even hear you come in. Replied a pleasant-looking woman. Her hair was long and brown, and up in a bun on the back of her head. She was short and rather plump, and she wore a white dress and apron. The buttons of her dress strained and looked as though they might pop off at any moment.

I can see why. Still, trying to get that baby of yours to be quiet?? The caterpillar asked.

Cassius? Your name is Cassius?? Alice almost laughed.

Don’t start, little one. I can still take you over my knee, and you can just imagine the spankings I can give with these. He held up his many arms, and Alice stopped laughing.

I’ve given up trying to get her to be quiet. Now I’m just trying to drown her out so I don’t have to listen to her all day. The Duchess flung another kitchen utensil across the room. It landed with a loud ‘clang!’ against the bedroom door.

Well. I’ve got a proposition for you. The caterpillar said. He grabbed Alice by the shoulders and presented her to the Duchess. My dear, meet Alice. Alice, the Duchess. Alice here is your ticket to the Queen’s party.

How do you do? Alice said. She curtsied for effect, and the Duchess snorted when she saw Alice’s diapers.

A little old for those, aren’t you dearie??

Alice sighed. It’s a long story.

Who cares. Tell me more about how this girl will help me get to see the Queen. Smiled the Duchess.

The Duchess listened intently as the caterpillar laid out the plan. He began mixing the potion as he spoke, adding to the weeds and tea some herbs and mushrooms from a small pouch he carried with him. Alice couldn’t wait to finally be on her way to see the Queen. The Duchess in turn gave the caterpillar some notes on taking care of her baby, named Megan. Throughout it all, Megan was as noisy as ever. Finally, the caterpillar was done mixing, and let the potion sit.

Let it cool. He said.

How long will it last?? Alice asked. She couldn’t remember when she’d grown back to full size following Nanny’s potion, so she wanted to make sure she wouldn’t get bigger at an inconvenient time.

You’ll be toddler-sized for about two or three hours. The caterpillar said.

But then I’ll grow back to my regular size, right?? Asked Alice.

Of course. You’ll grow back gradually, though, and you’ll want a change of clothes.

Why??

Because the clothes don’t grow with you. You’ll have to use some of Megan’s clothes and diapers while you’re small, and as you grow, you can use the clothes you’ve already packed.

Alice groaned. I thought you said you knew how to mix this! My clothes grew and shrank with Nanny’s potion.

The Duchess raised an eyebrow. Are you sure??

Alice nodded, then stopped. I think so. Yes, I’m almost certain of it.

Oh well, it’s a mute point now, isn’t it? She’s not here to make you a shrinking potion, so you’ll just have to settle for mine. The caterpillar offered forth a steaming brew, moss green in color. Alice accepted the glass and moved it to her lips.

All at once?? She said.

‘the faster the better. Confirmed the caterpillar.

Alice drank as fast as she could, at first because the caterpillar suggested it, but as soon as the liquid hit her tongue, she realized it tasted awful. She stomached as much as she could and nearly gagged from the smell and taste. She took her mouth away from the cup to catch her breath.

‘This is awful!! Alice complained. She took another breath and choked down the rest.

How do you feel? Is it working?? Asked the Duchess.

I feel, strange. Alice’s head began to get cloudy, just as it had before. She smiled, the room dancing around her. She lost her balance and collapsed on the floor. The Duchess and caterpillar helped her to her feet, and Alice heard one of them (she couldn’t concentrate long enough to figure out who it was) ask if she’d hurt herself. I’m fine. She giggled. Alice could sense a need to pee, far off in the back of her brain. Already relaxed, Alice was barely aware as she began to relieve herself in her diapers.

Uh oh! Looks like this baby already needs a change. Said the Duchess, noting the growing stain spreading across the middle of the diaper.

Good. That means it’s working. Replied the caterpillar. Sure enough, Alice’s clothes were becoming more slack.

The Duchess smiled. Let’s get her to the nursery. Once she’s all done, I can fit her with a new outfit.

The pair led Alice down the hall. It got more and more difficult, as Alice’s motor skills were definitely impaired and she was getting smaller by the minute, making it a challenge to keep a firm grip on her. By the end of the hall, Alice was down in size, and her party dress lay useless at her feet. The Duchess opened the nursery door and the caterpillar, holding Alice by the hands, led her inside. He had three hands holding the diaper around Alice’s waist, as Alice had also soiled herself during the transformation.

Once in the room, the Duchess directed the caterpillar to the changing table. He set Alice on the table and made sure she wouldn’t fall. Then he turned to the Duchess and said, ‘the rest is your department. I’ll see to Megan. He left Alice in the Duchess care.

The Duchess cleaned and diapered Alice, who was now the size of an infant, and then picked out a short all and tee shirt. The short all (like overalls but with shorts instead of long pants) had snapped up the crotch and was baby blue in color. The tee shirt was white. It looked rather odd, as Alice was still perfectly shaped, she was just very little.

Let’s get you a pacifier and then we’ll be all ready to go to the party. The Duchess was thrilled. Alice was very quiet, obviously tired from the regression. The Duchess placed a pacifier in the girl’s mouth and set her in the carriage. She tucked Alice in beneath several blankets, and soon Alice was fast asleep. The Duchess stocked Alice’s diaper bag with two larger outfits, more diapers, powder, and several bottles of formula.

I’m ready to go. Announced the Duchess as she wheeled Alice out to the front door.

The caterpillar looked in on the sleeping girl. He caressed her face with his hand and said, Farewell, little Alice. I hope you get to where you belong. He kissed her forehead and took one last look, then turned to the Duchess and remarked, Have a good time. Tell the Queen I say hello.

The Duchess left the house, Alice in tow, and headed off on the path to the Queen’s party. She had her invitation, her baby, and most importantly, she had piece and quiet. She left the sounds of Megan, still screaming like a banshee, far behind.

Alice woke with a start and sat up. Her head felt like lead, and the bright sunshine hurt her eyes. She rubbed her eyes to remove the sleep and looked around. She was shocked at her size, but quickly remembered the potion the caterpillar had given her. She was indeed baby-sized. Alice turned to look at the Duchess, who was behind her pushing the carriage. This proved a daunting task, as the canopy of the carriage made it impossible to see the Duchess. Alice tried to stand up, and found this more difficult than usual because of the bulk of the diapers she was wearing. Gripping the side of the carriage, Alice got to her feet and turned to face the Duchess.

The Duchess greeted her with a smile. Well good morning, little one. Did you have a good sleep?

Fine. Alice said. She was surprised at herself, and the sound of her high-pitched voice. What happened? My voice is so tiny!!

You’re tiny. Your vocal cords shrank too, you know. Reminded the Duchess.

Alice shuddered but realized it all made sense. If babies could talk, this is what they’d sound like. Where are we?? She asked.

We are just a short way from the Queen’s palace. Soon, we’ll make our way to the gate, and after that, it’s on to the Queen.

Good. Said Alice. Once we’re there, I’ll have a chance to talk to the Queen. From what the caterpillar said, she’ll be able to help me get back to my home.

What? Not enjoying your time here with us? You know, I’d love to have such a quiet baby like yourself. You can stay with me for a little while longer if you like.

‘Thanks for the invite, but the sooner I’m out of diapers, the better. Alice smiled.

After a few more minutes of polite conversation, they reached the palace gates. The duo was greeted by three armed guards, each one a living playing card from the house of spades. Alice was intimidated having never seen such an odd character, even in this land. The Duchess, however, wasn’t the least bit concerned.

‘state your business. Said a guard in an official-sounding voice.

The Duchess held forth an invitation to the party. We’re here for tea, my baby and me. She said.

After looking it over, the guard looked the Duchess up and down and then studied Alice. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, trying to look as cute and innocent as possible.

How cute!! Said another guard as he pinched Alice’s cheek.

Knock it off. Alice said, knocking his hand away.

Feisty little one, ain’tcha? Said the guard. Smart though. Already a talker. How old is she??

‘she’s two. But she acts much older. Said the Duchess, trying to cover for Alice’s un-baby-like actions.

They moved past the guards, and the Duchess leaned over and whispered in Alice’s ear? You’re a baby, remember. Act like one or you won’t make it to see the Queen.

What’s with all the security for the party? Is someone out to get the Queen?? Asked Alice.

Not really. Nobody really likes her, but no one wants her job either. Not enough to harm her. She’s just paranoid.

They headed down a long corridor, and Alice lay back and watched the ceiling. It was dark and lit by way of torches in the wall. The firelight played across the stones overhead, casting strange shadows as they went. A growing light appeared ahead, and Alice realized they were headed out of the corridor and into a large room. The vaulted ceiling looked even larger to Alice because of her diminutive size, and she sat up to look around the room. Huge paintings and sculptures were placed around the room, and two spiral staircases led from the main floor up to an expansive top floor.

Another pair of guards stood ready at a door in between the two stairwells, and as the Duchess approached, one of them said sternly, ‘sorry ma’am, no babies at the party.

The Duchess spoke, Please, she really is a well-behaved child. I promise. Alice tried to act cool and pretended not to understand what was being said, but this conversation made her nervous.

‘that may be, but the Queen’s ordered no children at the party. We’ll take her upstairs to the babysitter. Just leave the carriage and diaper bag with me. The guard stepped forward.

The Duchess faked a smile and said, Of course. Where exactly is this babysitter anyway?? She handed the diaper bag to the guard as she spoke.

Just upstairs, third door on the right. We can take you there when you’re ready to leave. Don’t worry. Said the guard, looking at Alice’s frightened face. You’re in good hands.

The Duchess bent down and whispered in Alice’s ear, ‘don’t worry little one. I’ll be back for you as soon as possible.

Alice nodded, but this put a terrible crimp in her plan to see the Queen. No matter, it would just take a little more effort on her part. She was willing to do what was necessary to return home.

‘take care of her!! The Duchess called as the guard wheeled Alice upstairs and down the hall. Sure enough, three doors down, he turned the carriage and Alice found herself in a huge converted nursery, complete with changing table, cribs, and plenty of toys. Five babies were already in the care of the babysitter, who was an angry-looking old woman with pitch-black hair. She glared at the guard as he approached, and she grudgingly took the diaper bag from him. Alice tried to hear the conversation, but the noise made by the other babies was too loud. The guard left, and the mean woman came over to Alice.

Don’t even think about misbehaving. She wagged her finger at Alice. Alice looked longingly at the door. And don’t even dream of leaving. You’re here until your mommy comes to get you.

Alice swallowed hard. This doesn’t look good. She thought to herself. Alice realized she needed to pee, and looked around for a bathroom. There was none, of course, and Alice knew she wouldn’t be able to escape from the room in time. Once again, she was placed in the uncomfortable position of having to use her diapers, just like a real baby.

She relaxed her bladder, and shortly thereafter was sitting in a wet diaper. She was suddenly aware of the fact that, unlike other changes, she wasn’t big enough to change herself and she certainly couldn’t just ask for the nursery attendant to change her diapers. Alice decided she would have to cry to get the babysitter’s attention, just like any of the other brats toddling around the nursery.

Alice took a deep breath and tried to scream, but she just couldn’t come up with a convincing cry. Finally, having sat in her uncomfortable wet diaper for a while, she channeled all of her frustration and began to sob. Soon, her body was rocking with each moan and the tears ran like rivers down her face. Alice grabbed the nearest toy and threw it across the room. She was smiling on the inside though because besides being helpless and in a soiled diaper, she was actually enjoying getting to throw a tantrum.