Re: Alvin Ever After: Alvin in the Fourth
I want you to image the person you hate more than anyone else on the face of this planet. Now image they just ate the piece of cake you had been thinking about all day long; the same piece of cake, which you had put your name on and hidden in the back of the refrigerator. Now, I want you to try to say their name. Evil sounding right? Yeah, well that’s how it came out when I said…
“Grraaandfffffaaaattttherrrrr!”
I did not want anything to do with that son-of-a-bitch so I did something I probably should not have done. I held up both of my middle fingers and shouted at the top of my lungs for him to go do something to himself, which was anatomically impossible. God I would have loved to have seen his expression when he heard my voice come over the waters and assault his ears.
With that, I whipped the nose of my board around and went back out to sea.
I was far enough out that I was in little to no risk while still able to hear the announcer. I could also see into the competition area and caught the end of Scotty and Chad’s first run. They both did really well. Then again, they were in the top six, so they had to do well.
As I sat out there under the California sun I began to get rather thirsty and wished I had something to drink.
“Ooooh and one of Mom’s Sloppy Charlies!” I said, making my mouth water at the thought.
In years past, there is about a thirty-minute break before the second heat then there is a two-hour lunch break before the final heat. Though I didn’t have a watch, I was sure well over an hour had passed since the end of the first heat and it was for sure getting close to midday.
I was beginning to think something was wrong when I heard of all things, a phone ringing. Of course, I turned toward it only to see John, my dad, in a kayak coming toward me. Though he was still a good ways off, I could tell that he was holding a cell phone to his ear.
“Oh yeah! I’ve lost it! I have heat stroke, no, I have downed and now I’m a surfing ghost! Oh wait! Ocean Madness! That is it! I’ve got Ocean Madness!” I said allowed.
Looking back to my very vivid hallucination, I opened my mouth as if to speak but realized I didn’t have anything to say.
“Saw that you were not coming back in so I figured you might like some water.”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“You thirsty?” he asked.
“Are you for real?” I asked back and then the oddest thought occurred to me and I found myself getting mad.
Holding up a bottle of water he asked, “You want this or what?”
“Dad?”
He tossed the bottle toward me and I surprised myself when I caught it.
He laughed, “Gil.” And reaching back into his kayak he pulled out a bottle of beer.
Having not understood him I asked, “Dad how? Why?”
“In all likely hood when I fornicated with your mother.” He said but he didn’t say fornicated.
“What?”
Right then the announcer broadcast, “Sorry for the delay folks. There was some dispute that since one of the competitors hadn’t officially checked in, that he should be disqualified. However, the Judges have had a little pow-wow and agreed that because he was technically in the competition area, that constituted an official check in.”
The crowd went insane.
“Oh I am on your side too! But you know how the belly-achers are. Can’t surf well enough to win so he’s got to throw his muscle arou…” The announcer was cut off but he’d said enough that everyone, me included knew that it was Scotty who complained in yet another attempt to get me out of the competition.
The boo’s from the crowd were so loud and I threw my fist in the air triumphantly which made the crowd cheer. I was surprised that they could see me from where I was. I later learned that they had set up big screen televisions up on the boardwalk and were using special cameras to broadcast us surfers up close. This was the first year that they did that. What was really cool was the fact that everything was being recorded and DVD’s were going to be able to be bought later with all the highlights.
Turning back to my dad I was about to speek but he was a good ways from me, heading back to shore.
“DAD!” I screamed.
I was about to give chase when the announcer came back to life with, “And we’re back! Sorry for the technical difficulties.”
The crowd laughed.
He then announced that for the second heat they were going to be sending each surfer out one at a time at random as names were pulled from a lottery ball.
“What?” I asked to no one as I waited while looking at the back of my dad paddle away.
That’s when I remembered I was still holding the bottle of water.
“Our first competitor for this second heat will be Alvin Holloway!”
I honestly contemplated not surfing and chasing Dad down but then I heard the chants of my name. I guessed and then quickly opened the bottle of water and chugged it down.
“FINE!” I said with strong determination as I dumped the rest of the water out screwed the cap on and stuffed it into the back of my shorts for safekeeping until I could throw it away properly.
As I entered the competition area the crowd began to chat, “HOL-LO-WAY! HOL-LO-WAY! HOL-LO-WAY!”
I confess that it got to me and made me push the envelope as they say. This time I didn’t waste time looking for the perfect wave. I picked a decent one and performed for the judges. I was Hot-dogging and showing off. Judges eat that stuff up and if Gary was watching, he’d beat my ass for it. Because of all the show-boating, I got my best score of the entire competition and when you factor in my first run, I’d managed to push myself so far up into first place, I’d have to completely bomb my last run to be overtaken by the others.
When I started my second run my entire mindset was to get done fast and get the best score I could as fast as I could so that I could go chase after my dad and find out why he was hiding out in California. My head was so confused as how he could be alive and have been with me during my first run but somehow I managed to keep from going completely insane. However, by the end of my run I was completely eating up the cheers of the crowd and had shortly forgot that I was a wanted man.
I was coming in from my second to the last run and as far as the Judges and the crowd was concerned it was a stellar run. I was still a couple football fields out but close enough that the crowd was deafeningly loud. I think the fact that I was finally coming back to land was really getting them worked up.
Like I said, I’d finished my run and was basking in the roar of the crowd so I wasn’t paying attention until it was too late.
Two Coast Guard Skidoos were speeding toward me and by the time, I noticed them it was impossible for me to head back out to sea. I looked to the shore and sure enough, in front of the crowd were four police officers, my Grandfather, Meek’s father, and Meek in handcuffs.
So, that was the end of my adventure… or so I thought.
“Wait, where’s mom?” I said aloud as the Coast Guard closed in on me.