Re: Alvin Ever After: Alvin in the Fourth
I shook my head, “First! Second one I didn’t feel like I needed to do that again.” I got quiet for a moment then added, “I can’t explain it.”
And then, I remembered about the Coast Guard and told her about that. She got very angry with Grandfather.
“I have been trying to get him to leave you alone but he just won’t listen.”
Then I remembered about what Gil did.
“Oh and he tried to drown me!” I said while pointing an accusing finger at Gil.
“GIL!” Mom said with fire.
“YOU LITTLE SHIT! TELL HER THE REST OF IT!”
I laughed, “Alright, he actually saved me.” And then I went on to recount the whole scuba thing.
“Still! That was very dangerous!” Mom said to Gil, not sure she wasn’t still upset with him.
“I’ve been keeping an eye on him for the past few days and making sure he wasn’t getting into too much trouble.” Gil confessed.
“YOU WERE SPYING ON ME?” I shouted.
Ignoring me, he told mom, “Your father tried to get me question me about the boy a number of times. But I always played dumb.”
“I saw you once! At the store.” I told him.
“I know you did.” He chuckled, “I also know you stole that lighter, Cokes, and junk-food.”
I thought I was going to die right on the spot. I was so embarrassed and ashamed.
“MOM I SWEAR I DIDN’T MEAN TO! I JUST…”
“Relax! I paid for the stuff for you.” Gil said, “By the way, you owe me $16.50!”
Mom stood, walked over to Gil and gave him a hug, “Gil, thank you so much for looking after him for me. I cannot thank you enough!”
“Yeah, well… was the least I could do after…” he stopped what he was saying and then did something, which surprised the heck out of us both. He threw his drink over his shoulder, and roared, “FUCK IT! WE HAVE TO GET HIM BACK TO THE BEACH!”
We both looked at him as though he had just sprouted a penis from his forehead.
“With a little luck, we might get him back before they call for the final competition.”
I shook my head.
“I don’t need to.”
“What?” he asked with disbelief.
I shrugged, “I don’t need to win anymore. I proved to myself that I could win and that’s enough for me.”
“Yeah, but it’s not enough for me and I bet your dad would have loved to have seen you bring home that trophy!”
I looked to mom who was wiping away her tears.
He said the right thing, because I suddenly started to get excited.
“Don’t suppose we could take your car that’s down there in the garage?” I asked.
Mom looking at him as though she were hoping for a yes.
“Car? I don’t own a car?”
“Oh was that Prowler that other mans?” I asked and so help me, I made Gil blush. I actually made him turn red.
I guess he didn’t like me bringing up the subject of that older man while my mother was around.
“OH!” He said and I got the idea we was playing it up now, “You mean my pet road shark?”
“Yeah, whatever! Can we take it?” I asked impatiently.
“She only seats two and there is no room for your board.” He said while rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
He then snapped his fingers and excitedly announced, “But I have bungees! Come on, we go!”
Mom looked at me, “Why’s he speaking with a bad Mexican accent?”
I didn’t say what I was thinking thought.
“Oh that’s not a Mexican accent; that’s a tequila accent.”
No, instead, I said, “How am I supposed to know? I just met the guy!”
“Oh get moving!” she said laughingly then asked, “Do you need changed?”
Shaking my head, “Already got it but thanks! By the way, I’m going to need some sort of super powered cream when we get home.”
“Diaper rash?” she asked just the way someone else might ask, “Oh you have a pimple?”
“Mom! I have a rash on my rash! If it weren’t for the salt water I’d probably be a swollen, red, itchy mess!”
“Come!” Gil said as he reappeared looking excited, “Come! Come! We go!”
I picked up my board, mom grabbed the Abercrombie and Fitch bag and we followed Gil out onto the deck, down a set of wooden stairs and were right at the garage door.
It took us only a few minutes to strap the board to the car, mom then got in the passage seat while Gil got in the driver’s seat. I then got to sit on my mother’s lap like I used to do when I was a much smaller boy.
Gil drove like a maniac. Seriously! He had both mom and me screaming as we raced up the street, swerved around traffic and slow moving people.
We arrived literally just in time. Thankfully, my fans saw us running down the boardwalk toward the competition area. The roar that commenced was like nothing I could describe and it only got louder as more and more realized that I was about to make my entrance.
Then the announcer’s voice broke through the roar of the crowd.
In a horse-sounding scream, he told the sea of people, “I SEE HIM! LADIES AND GENTALMENT, ALVIN HOLLOWAY IS HERE!”
Wow!!! The sound was like being hit by the biggest, meanest wave! I honestly staggered as though I were hit with blast after blast from some sort of ultrasonic cannon.
“Don’t fall now Alvin!” Gil said with an excited laugh as he grabbed hold of my upper arm.
I looked to my left and mom was jogging right beside me and looking about as happy as I can ever remember seeing her.
“ALVIN!” Mom called and took hold of my free hand, as the other was busy holding my board.
The crowd parted for the three of us as we sprinted single file down the concrete stairs toward the beach with mom leading the way and Gil right behind me.
Like Moses and the Red Sea, the crowd parted and ahead of us laid not just the Ocean, and the other remaining competitors, Meek included, but also Grandfather who was standing there looking all sorts of grumpy.
“Grandfather?!” I shouted to mom and pointed.
He was standing there with two police officers.
Mom released my hand, walked up to him and though I did not hear what she said to him. I saw the look on my grandfather’s face and he was not a happy man. He said something to the two officers who seemed to be all business. A moment later, the officers turned and began to walk away, followed by my grandfather.
Mom came up to me, leaned down and kissed me before telling me to go have some fun!
I then sort of limped and walked over to them all, looked to Scotty and Luisa and said, “I am not about to speak for all of you, but for me I could not care less about winning or losing! I am just planning on going out there and having fun!”
“Scotty then said, “Good then stay out of the way would you?
“Scotty you are a real piece of work!” Luisa said as the turned and punched him right in the balls.
Scotty’s eyes bugged out but and his face turned a lovely shade of red but he didn’t make sound or double over. It was clear that it hurt though.
“Thanks!” I said to Luisa with a smile, which she returned and my heart skipped a beat.
“So you want to go have some fun?” I asked Meek.
Though I couldn’t hear him, it was clear by Meek’s body language that he had sighed a large breath of relief.
“Sounds great to me!” Scotty then added.
Apparently, a blow to the balls was what he needed to get his attitude readjusted.
The announcer again broke through, “Competitors are you ready?”
The crowd grew silent with anticipation.
At that second Meek shouted, “YEAH!” which made everyone laugh.
I laughed too and gave him a friendly push.
The announcer came back to life with, “On my mark…. WAIT FOR IT! … And …”
It was only then that I realized I wasn’t remotely dressed for surfing.
“WAAAAAIIIIIT!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as I handed my board to Meek and began to pull my shirt over my head.
There was laughter, but nothing like what was about to come.
I began to kick of my Huarache sandals and then realized I was still wearing my regular board shorts and GoodNite.
In the heat of the moment and without any thought about it, I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of both my shorts and my GoodNite. In a flash, I had shed every stitch of clothing.
The laughter and woof whistles abounded. I even received several marriage requests, oddly from guys as well as girls. I looked to Meek who was blushing as though he too had just got naked before thousands of people.
I smiled and shrugged as I took my board back from him.
“You are mental! You know that?” Meek asked and then dropped his board on the sand and stripped too.
I looked to my other two competitors. Scotty was staring at my privates as if he was looking upon the face of God. Luisa was smiling at me as if she was about to drop her board and jump me right then and there. Then they both shed their suits as well and I saw that Scotty was sporting wood… hell not wood, he had a full redwood tree. Okay I guess the steroids hadn’t effected his junk after all.
“Scotty why the heck do you have an erection?” Luisa asked worriedly.
He pretended to wipe away a tear, “I’m just so happy!”
“Well keep that thing out of the water or a whale-shark might think it’s Thanksgiving!” Meek joked.
The hoots and hollers from the crowd were funny.
“May we continue MR. HOLLOWAY? Or would you like some nachos and a soda before you go out.” The announcer asked sarcastically which caused the spectators to erupt with laughter once again.
“Wait, are there really nachos?” Meek asked and I almost thought he was serious.
I shouted back to the announcer, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WAITING FOR!”
There was another roar of laughter by all.
“OH THE HELL WITH IT! JUST GO!” The announcer blasted out and the four of us ran butt naked into the ocean.
As we were entering the water, Meek shouted a comical, “TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!”
If you are expecting to find out who won, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I will share this much; the four of us had the time of our lives out there that afternoon. Besides our clothing, the four of us left the stress of competition lying on the beach and just had fun as though we were four lifelong surfing friends. If the cheers from the spectators were anything to judge by, we put on one heck of a show for them!