Re: Alvin Ever After: Alvin in the Fourth
Day 9
Since she had slept for a while, Destiny continued to drive so that when Meek and I woke the following morning we opened our eyes to a breathtaking site… the Pacific Ocean.
“MOMMA DESTINY!” I shouted, which scared my two companions nearly out of their minds, “YOU DID IT!”
I giggled at the look of their shocked faces, “Sorry, I got excited.”
Meek went from dead asleep to wide-awake as he jumped from the truck and ran toward the water only to find that he couldn’t get to it. We were parked a top a cliff I knew all too well. I chose not to tell Meek and Destiny that the cliff we were on is known informally as Hell’s Drop due to the fact that three people at three different times over the past decade have committed suicide by throwing themselves onto the rocks below.
“Destiny we are so close to my old house!” I screeched as I stood, clutching Meek’s left arm and bouncing on the balls of my feet.
I was like a kid at Christmas time, standing in line at the Mall to see Santa Claus! A part of me believed that if I ran to my old home right now, I would find Mom standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes by hand and John passed out in his chair while some basketball game was playing on the TV.
As if on cue, my belly growled loudly.
Meek giggled as he asked, “Was that your stomach?”
I looked down while lifting my shirt to expose my belly button.
“What’s the matter?” I asked while lovingly rubbing my tummy.
Then looking up to Meek I tried to keep a straight face as I told him, “He says he’s hungry.”
“Oh baby! He’s not the only one. I could eat the asshole out of a cow right about now.” Destiny said, while sitting on the front bumper of her truck and pulling me backward into a loose reverse bear hug.
It was clear she didn’t even realize what she’d just said.
Meek and I shared a moment of eye contact before we both busted out laughing.
“What?” Destiny asked.
Meek fell over on me laughing and we both tumbled to the ground.
“WHAT?” she asked again and then waved us off as if desgusted with the two of us.
She leaned back against the truck and let out a loud moan.
Meek rolled off me and was up on one knee when he expressed what he and I had both thought at the exact same time, “Whoa, you look beat!”
“Oh sweet boy, we only got here about ten minutes ago.” She said as she stood, walked over to where I was still on the ground and dropped down beside me.
She then dangled around the front of my face the long gold chain of a small pendant clock, which she wore around her neck.
“You need more sleep.” I suggested as I leaned my head back against her right shoulder and looked up into her beautiful brown eyes.
“We’re a whole day early. Why don’t we get a room again?” Destiny suggested.
“That would be wonderful.” Meek answered and in the same breath he added, “Alvin smells like a barn yard!”
“HEY!!” I objected.
She then asked him, “You still wanting to do it?”
Meek nodded and answered robustly, “You bet! I mean yes! Yes, please!”
“Do what?” I asked.
As if I hadn’t spoken she said to him, “In that case, I say we go get some Z’s, and then we can get you ready! And you’re right, he does smell a bit!”
She gave me a bump with her elbow.
Ignoring her comment on my odor I asked with impatience, “Ready for what?”
“You’ll see my stinky baby-boy!” she said coyly as she tilted her head down and kissed my forehead.
She got up and started arm in arm with Meek toward the truck.
Still on the ground I sniffed under both of my arms and tried to lean over to sniff my very wet front before exclaiming in a loud voice, “I don’t smell that bad!”
We drove down to Chula Vista, which was only about fifteen minutes from Hell’s Drop. We went through the drive-thru at McDonalds, and then I gave directions to the bevy of hotels across from Mid-Bay front.
Momma Destiny checked us into the Best Western on E Street and while Meek and I were settling in, she told us to stay in the room and not to let anyone see us until she got back. She didn’t tell us where she was going or why.
“I’m going to take a quick shower.” I announced.
Meek chimed in with, “Maybe a long one would be better.”
I turned on him and jabbed an accusing finger into his chest while failing to hide my wide grin, “You trying to say something there Big Sister?”
Acting just like Destiny he waved his hand, snapped his fingers twice, and said, “Honey baby-child, I think you got more in your padded drawers than just your little play thang!”
I blushed because he knew I had been concealing another accident.
I’d taken a fresh GoodNite with me to the shower so I could redress after I was washed clean. When I came out of the bathroom fully dressed, I found Destiny and Meek both sacked out on the beds; only then did I realize just how long I’d been in the shower. The water had felt so good, and I took time to condition my hair several times to soften it, as it felt rather hay-like from all the bleaching. I mean, they were completely out of it; neither of them so much as stirred from the noise of me coming out of the bathroom.
Oddly, I wasn’t the least bit tired. I was wide-awake because I was home again! I didn’t want to sleep, I wanted to get out and see Chula Vista again! So, with a fresh GoodNite, I stepped into my shoes and quietly slipped out of the hotel room, my bleach-blond, wet hair hanging like dreadlocks because I hadn’t taken the time to comb it.
So where did I go? I’m surprised you have to ask. I made a beeline for the ocean. I had no surfboard, but that was a minor technicality. More times than I can count, I have ended up on one stretch of beach or another without a board. I’ll share a little secret with you… all you have to do is know how to talk with other surfers and in no time you’ll be catching waves on a borrowed board.
I hit the beach and couldn’t believe how crowded it was. Man it was like a sea of beach towels and un-tanned people.
“Yep, it is for sure the start of summer!” I said aloud.
I pulled off my shirt and tied it around the metal pole of the boardwalk sign along with the other thirty or more shirts and such that were tied to it. That’s what we surfers do with our clothes, we either burry them on the beach or tie them to something. Surprisingly, few people ever take what isn’t theirs.
“Do I know you?” this one half-baked dude asked.
I looked up into the bloodshot eyes of a guy who looked to be seventeen or eighteen. It was clear he was well on his way to fully baked… uh, I mean stoned. I could even smell it on him like stink on a skunk.
“Possibly!” I said forgetting that I look completely different than I did when I left here last year, and that I was supposed to be lying low.
“How long you been coming here?” I asked.
“Oh not long, year or so.” He said as he pulled off his shorts and accidently pulling down his speedo too.
I saw his junk and nearly laughed at the size of it. Heck, my penis is even bigger than his was. He was so stoned that he didn’t even realize what he had done until someone whistled at him.
“Woopsie-dassies!” he laughed as he caught his board before it fell. He’d been trying to balance it while taking off his shirt at the same time.
“Want me to hang on to that while you get your suit back on?” I asked and he passed it to me.
“Where’s your board man?” he asked while using one hand to hang onto the sign to keep from falling over and the other to pull up his shorts.
“Don’t have one.” I said.
“No way.” He exclamed with too much emotion. Stoners are so funny.
“But hey man I got an extra board if you want.” He offered.
See what I mean about surfers?
“Oooeee that would be choice!” I told him.
“You light up?” He asked after he got his speedo back on.
I had helped him tie his clothes to the metal pole as he was so wasted he couldn’t even manage to wrap the darn things around the pole, let alone tie ’em there. I also tied the laces of my shoes to it before following him back to his car.
“Nah man, but help yourself!” I said and then asked while holding his extra board, which wasn’t a great board, but it was better than most rental boards.
“Mind if I get this wet while you light up?” I asked.
Wordlessly he waved his approval as he was taking a hit of his roach clip.
“Thanks bra!” I crowed as I tucked the board under my arm and took off toward the sandy beach.
I didn’t run, but walked with slow pensive strides while looking out at the point where the earth curves and the ocean and sky meets.
The ocean… my old, dearly missed ocean, it was still there, and it was breaking for me. It was as though it saw me walking toward it and like a faithful dog, was jumping and rolling with excitement.
“Oh yeah! You’re glad to see me too. Aren’t ya?” I asked it.
I cannot properly express to you the pleasure I felt as the scorching sand fried the bottoms of my feet with each step. You might think that pleasure is the last thing I would feel but to me, the burning hot sand was like the beach telling me, “Welcome home Alvin!”
I will say that with one year away from the beach, the bottoms of my feet have become softer. If I actually were to stop on the sand for any amount of time, I probably would have started doing what vacationers always do. A sort of tiptoe dance to the water to cool their burning feet.
I stopped at the water’s edge. The waves rolled up and touched my feet like a dog licking its masters face. Down, level with the water, I could see the waves were more than gnarly. They were the kind of waves people draw on the backs of school binders; as in the kind, you only dream about. There was only one thing to do, go in for a closer look!
There was no checking the water temp or getting used to the colder ocean water. I ran all the way out jumped on the board and paddled like mad.
Now you might have noticed that I’d managed to forget something very important. I was wearing a GoodNite under my board shorts and they were already completely water logged. This is actually going to be a reoccurring event in the coming days.
“Alvin you idiot!” I said aloud as I duck-dived under the first wave.
I came up on the other side and didn’t stop paddling and duck diving until I thought my arms were going to fall off. I had to dive under eight waves in total and paddled so far out that when I sat myself up and turned to look back, I couldn’t see land or anyone else. I was alone, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I was finally back where I belong!
As peaceful as it was out there in the middle of my own big, blue water world, I didn’t stay out there too long, maybe ten minutes or so; long enough to shimmy out of my shorts and the GoodNite and then shimmy back into my shorts. I’m immensely ashamed to tell you this, but I dropped that GoodNite right into the water and watched it sink into the blackness of the ocean depths. I was no sooner getting my board shorts back on; when I spotted, what I knew was going to be a great wave. However, I was behind it already.
Using a trick I’d learned from a Hawaiian surfer, I grabbed both sides of my board and flipped myself right over so that the bottom of my board was facing the sky and I was danging beneighth it in the water.
My body acted like sail and the current actually propelled me so fast that when I righted my board and myself, I was in perfect passion.
Boy was I right on the money with that wave. It was almost a perfect wave.
“Oh yeah! Check it out!” I cheered, “The water was chucking a major fish, but I was in complete control.
I cut left!
I cut right!
I pulled a nice exit and re-entry!
I was ripping up that face!
I rode it in about halfway alone then at about that point several other surfers had caught the wave too. However, they didn’t know that the wave hadn’t reached full maturity and were soon swallowed up. I had been riding high and hanging ten, however, knowing that it was going to begin breaking soon I dropped low and then did a sharp left to put myself into position. My timing was spot on as the wave began to break above me, creating a stellar tube.
There was a moment where I couldn’t see anything but water all around me and having not surfed a tube in about a year, I actually got a little scared as it closed in on me. In that instant I had a brief and incredibly scary thought, like someone screaming in my ear, that this was how I would die. However, like I said it was brief, like a nano-second and then instinct took over. I slid my left foot a couple inches nearer the nose of the board, lowered myself, and soon fired myself out the other end before the wave could consume me.
Still riding the dying wave, I was punching my fist in the air and cheering. “NOT THIS TIME!” I felt like I was back and hadn’t lost anything at all.
Several surfers and vacationers were ‘ooing and aweing’ as I came up on shore. A few asked who I was but I didn’t answer. As I walked up the beach, I found the stoners car and placed his board in the back, which was still wide open. As I was walking back past the car, I found the stoner passed out on the front seat and laughed as I headed for my shirt and shoes.
Yeah, it would have been great to surf for the whole afternoon, but I hadn’t left Meek and Destiny a note or anything telling them where I had gone. Therefore, I wanted to get back before they woke up again.
I walked into the room to find both of them awake and active.
“There he is!” Meek said smugly, “Told you he wouldn’t be gone long!”
Destiny was helping Meek… uh… I mean Mindy-Lynn to be re-dolled up by touching up his, uh, her eye shadow.
“Where’d you wander off too?” Destiny asked. Her tone wasn’t strict or that of a mother-hen. She simply sounded curious.
“Wasn’t tired so I went to see if the ocean was still where I left it.” I said while retrieving a fresh GoodNite.
“How was the water?” Meek asked.
“Perfect! Caught a gnarly one.” I said while kicking off my shoes by the door.
“Just one?” Meek asked.
Forgetting to be embarrassed, I dropped my shorts, exposing myself to Destiny as I stepped into the GoodNite.
“Yeah, didn’t want to worry either of you so I hurried back.”
“See, told ya he couldn’t wait.” Meek said to Destiny.
“Yeah, you got that one right!” I said as I pulled my shorts up over the fresh GoodNite.
“Alvin sweetie, you might want to get cleaned up and put on some of those new clothes.” She pointed to a stack of clothes on one of the beds, “Momma Destiny is going to take her boys out to paint the town in rainbow colors!”
“Oh? Where’s that?” I asked but I wasn’t told.
“We ended up at a place I knew well from the front windows but had never been in. I knew it as ‘The Wall’ and it was THE PLACE TO BE if you were gay and lived in Chula Vista. It is known among locals that behind the place, is where you go if you want a free blowjob. It’s also a place to be avoided if you are a kid. Of course, I didn’t care either way. I’d walked past it a hundred, thousand times and never once got bothered. There was always a person out front staffing the door. Over the years I got to know them all and when I would walk by they’d say, “Hello Alvin!” or “How’s the waves?” or my favorite, “There’s Sharkboy again!” Sometimes they’d even give me a high-five, or a fist-bump but mostly they’d just wave or point my way. Even some of the local ‘Gayboys’ got used to seeing me and would talk with me.
However, aside from a couple jerks, no one ever messed with me or even tried for fear of getting their butts kicked, not by me, but by those that watched the doors or the Drag Queens that preformed at the club. You see, this onetime someone had grabbed one of the drag queens as she was going in and it wasn’t a nice sort of grabbing. I hadn’t thought, I simply reacted and mule-kicked the guy in the kneecap. He went down like a sack of potatoes. I didn’t even stop; I kept right on walking like nothing had happened. So a few months later, I am going by, carrying my board, and wearing only a pair of board shorts; this guy, who I had never seen said something very, very uncool to me. I won’t actually say what he said, but it is something that even if I had been an adult, I’d still would’ve been offended by it. Before I knew what happened, he was on the ground and bleeding heavily from the nose. To this day, I don’t know if it was one of the three Drag Queen performers on their way in that evening, the doorman, or one of the regular customers lined up out front that hit that guy. All I know is that I never again had a single problem there and everyone treated me like a friend.
Sorry, I got way off track. Anyway, Momma Destiny took Meek… I mean Mindy-Lynn and myself to ‘The Wall’ where she got a table right up front for me alone. Now remember, I am only 12 years old and I’m in a GAY, ADULT, nightclub and no one seems the least bit out of sorts about having a kid there. I later found out that despite my bleached hair, the owner of the place recognized me instantly. It also helped that the owner was Momma Destiny’s Latin, step-cousin-in-law-twice-removed, or some weird thing like that. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t pretend to understand it now. All I know is I was a kid in a gay-bar and no one seemed to care at all that I was there.
So there I was, alone at the table, surrounded by gay men, some of which were fully dressed, other were shirtless and still others in just shorts or underwear. Thankfully, no one was nude.
Momma Destiny and Meek had gone to the back, leaving me alone but not really alone. I had a feeling that everyone in the place (Staff and patrons alike) were watching out for me. It was like I had more than fifty babysitters.
I had a feeling I’d be seeing Momma Destiny performing again, however I hadn’t even begun to expect what I was treated too.
For starters, I never ordered any food; it was just brought out to me. Being so close to the Mexican border, you know that 95% of the food is Mexican. So, when I was served real Mexican chili, I wasn’t surprised. By the way, did you know that REAL chili is not brown and does not have beans in it, but is green and is loaded with all sorts peppers which are meant to keep you warm during the cool Mexico nights? Until you’ve had REAL Mexican chili, you’ve never had real chili. It will burn going in and burn going out but it is the tastiest chili you’ll ever have!
I was halfway through my bowl of chili and stuffed hot peppers when I realized that not a single person in the place was drinking alcohol. They were all sitting or standing around either chatting or looking toward me. I got the idea that somehow everyone in the place had been told that as long as I was in the house, no one was allowed to drink. I had no idea that Momma Destiny and her friends had set everything up for the evening as a special evening performance. The lights dimmed which I was glad of, as then, I couldn’t see all those men looking, or trying to act like they weren’t looking at me. When the lights went down, the first performer came out lit up by red and blue police lights. It was a white, very buff guy dressed like a cop. Then three spotlights lit up, one on either side of the room, and one behind us, illuminating three other cops. For all of five seconds I honestly thought it was a raid until the music began to blare and the four cops began to lip-sync to the theme song from the TV show ‘COPS’ while stripping. I, of course, covered my eyes, as I had no desire to see four grown men ripping off all their clothes.
A kind older Mexican guy to my right tapped me on the shoulder and said in a heavy accent, “Not to worry young man. They won’t bare all.”
I glanced up to see that all of them were wearing Speedos with gold police bandages over their bulges. It was still a bit uncomfortable watching them gyrate while other guys in the audience stuffed money into their Speedos.
I don’t think I have been more embarrassed than when the cop from the back came up, placed his police hat on my head, draped a police badge on a glitter chain about my neck, and was holding the back of my chair while dancing behind me as the two of us were lit up by the spotlight. Although I couldn’t see most of the audience, I could hear them laughing and whooping over this spectacle.
I was so glad when the performance was over and the stripper officer took his hat and badge. Although it would have been rather cool to have been able to keep the badge on the glitter chain.
The next performance was the one I’d been brought to see. The Left stage lights all went blue and out came Destiny dressed completely in black sequin at the left side of the stage and then this awesome song beat began for a moment before Destiny commenced to lip-sync… “Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene…”
The name echoed repeatedly throughout the club. It was haunting, and magical, and eerie, and electrifying.
Then the right side of the stage lit up with red and out walked Meek… I mean Mindy-Lynn, dressed in a very reveling, red sequin dress. I wanted to jump on the table and cheer for Meek! Then he began to lip-sync too, “We started dancing and love brought us into our groove… as soon as we started to move.”
It was a musical-mashup and it was awesome.
Meek seemed so much older than his 15 year old self as he moved and danced so seductively while pretending to be singing the words of the song, “The music played while our bodies displayed through the dance, then love picked us out for romance.”
Destiny appeared heartbroken as she mouthed the words, “Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene…” again the echoes followed by, “I’m begging of you please don’t take my man!”
Meek turned toward Destiny and as he pretended to be singing, his body language appeared rude and disrespectful, “I thought it was clear the plan was we would share this feeling just between ourselves. But when the music changed, the plan was re-arranged He went to dance with someone else. We started dancing and love put us into a groove – But now he’s with somebody new – what does love want me to do? Love said: Let the music play he won’t get away, Just keep the groove and then he’ll come back to you again, let it play. Let the music play he won’t get away, this groove he can’t ignore, he won’t leave you anymore, no, no, no.”
Destiny turned toward Meek and adopting the same rude body language she sang, “Your beauty is beyond compare. With flaming locks of auburn hair, with mocha skin and eyes of emerald green, your smile is like a breath of spring, your voice is soft like summer rain, and I cannot compete with you, Jolene!”
It was again Meek’s turn, however he snubbed Destiny by turning away from her and toward the audience and sang as if trying to persuade us all to side with him in this three-way tug-o-war of love.
“So we started dancing and love put us into the groove, as soon as we started to move, as soon as we started to moooooooove. Love said: Let the music play he won’t get away, Just keep the groove and then he’ll come back to you again, let it play. Let the music play he won’t get away, this groove he can’t ignore, he won’t leave you anymore, no, no, no. The music played while our bodies displayed through the dance, then love picked us out for romance.”
I swear Destiny was nearly in tears as she pretended to sing, “Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I’m begging of you please don’t take my man!”
Meek ran his hands down his body as though his hands were those of his lover, “We started dancing and love put us into a groove. But now he’s with somebody new.”
Destiny began to stumble and held her hands as though begging, “Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene… Please don’t take him even though you can!”
Meek began to dance very erotically as he sang, “He’s dancing his way back to me – Love said: Let the music play he won’t get away, just keep the groove and he’ll come back to you again. Let the music play!”
He continued to lip-sync the words, “Let the music play he won’t get away, just keep the groove and he’ll come back to you again. Let the music play!” while Destiny clutched at her heart, turned away from the audience as her spotlight faded away.
Finally, the song ended and the house lights came back up as Destiny rejoined Meek on stage to bask in the applause and roar of the crowd. Now that the performance was over Meek appeared to be crying, as Momma Destiny hugged him and the two of them waved.
They again vanished behind the glimmering curtain as a portly man with a pointy goatee and very bushy eyebrows came out and announced, “Thank you all for indulging us this evening and please give another big thank you for Miss Destiny and Mindy-Lynn.”
The crowd would not be silenced until Momma Destiny and Meek came out for one more bow.
About fifteen minutes later, after watching two more performers, one did a Barbra Streisand number and the other did a Cyndi Lauper song, both Meek and Momma Destiny came out, with Meek no longer in drag but Momma Destiny back in her ‘street’ clothes. I assumed this was to make a clean getaway but that didn’t happen. I guess the club goers were not fooled, and stopped them to ask for autographs, give them flowers, and beg for kisses (they all only received kisses on the cheeks from Destiny). What was cool was they were all perfect gentlemen to Meek who they knew was under age.
Momma Destiny, waved for me from up near the bar to come with them and once I made my way to them, the three of us made our getaway out the side door with the help of two very big guys in black t-shirts with ‘SECURITY’ in big white letters across their chests.
Just as we were going out the door, an older Drag Queen who looked somewhat Asian stopped us and said to Meek, “Don’t you ever be ashamed to be who you are sweetie!” She then leaned down and kissed Meek on the cheek, leaving bright red lipstick on him. I thought it was sweet that Meek refused to wipe it off until we were back to the truck.
Meek smiled back and said, “Thank you Lady Love! I’ll never forget you!”
I later learned from Meek that Lady Love had helped them with their quick change for the performance and their quick change back into street clothes. She’d also helped to arrange the performance. I honestly wish I had known that while still at the club so I could have thanked her too. I tell you, after that, Meek seemed like a completely different person, and I mean that in the best ways possible!
You know something I just now realized… Where the heck did Meek get a change of clothes? When we went to the club he was in drag, when we left he was dressed in normal boy’s clothes. Moreover, what happened to his pretty dress? Oh well, I guess that’s one I may never know the answer too.
I kept gushing over the two of them all evening. I just couldn’t stop. It was like I was in the presence of double-royalty!
“I wish we could have recorded it!” I exclaimed.
“Oh it was. He’ll be sending a DVD copy of it in a few days.” I was told.
“Really?” I exclaimed.
“Yeah he’s mailing it to my house. I’m hoping when Pepper sees it, he’ll forgive me for leaving him behind.” Meek said.
“OH MY GOD IT WAS JUST SO COOL!” I shouted while pulling at my bleach-blonde hair! “How’d you guys come up with that? Did you even practice?”
“Nope, no practice at all.” Meek confessed with an air of pride in himself.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“We both picked songs we knew…” Meek started to say and Destiny finished, “And then I had my friend put together a track, email it to my friend at ‘The Wall’ and well…”
Destiny pointed to Meek to finish the story, “We arrived, got made up and out we went without any practice or preparation.”
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU GUYS WINGED IT?” I continued to shout, causing other people walking by to take notice of the three of us.
We walked to the truck, Destiny asked if we should go back to the room and both Meek and I agreed we should. However, before we checked in, Destiny did something utterly remarkable while sitting behind the wheel of the truck. She pulled off her wig, pulled off her lashes, her long nails, and after retrieving a few items from her purse, she removed her markup. In the space of about five minutes, Destiny had transformed herself into Jerome Roberts. She even managed to shimmy out of her dress and into a pair of cutoff shorts.
“You’ve done this before.” Meek said with a grin.
“More times than you know.” Destiny… I mean Jerome said.
Now I have seen my share of drag queens, enough that they don’t shock me when I see them now, but until today, I had never seen one metamorphosis right before my very eyes.
“Why Alvin you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Jerome said.
“I-I…” I shook my head and spoke in a pleading and desperate tone, “Please don’t ever do that in front of me again.”
“Oh, Baby Child! I’m sorry I didn’t even consider how young you are.” Jerome said and even though it sounded like Destiny, it wasn’t her.
I like to think of myself as enlightened when it comes to transvestites and female impersonators, as I have had some interactions with them, but until right then, I had never in my life seen someone whom I had actually begun to form an attachment vanish and transform before my very eyes. I’m sorry to say, but it completely freaked me out for a few minutes.
Meek seemed to miss the fact that I was freaking out as he jokingly said, “Oh goody! Now Jimmy and Mindy-Lynn Roberts have a daddy!”