Alvin Ever After: Alvin in the Second Scene 240

It just so happened that the day I went back to school also happened to be the day of the school Snowball dance which was to take place that evening.

Part of my parents agreement that I could go to school that day was only if they drove me there themselves. I had surrendered to their conditions relatively easily. Just the idea of walking all the way to school made me feel tired. However, at the breakfast table Grandfather announced that he would be driving me to school and he would be picking me up after school.

“Mom,” I said stuffing half a piece of bacon in my mouth.

She gave me one of her Mom looks, as did Grandmother for talking with my mouth full. I quickly chewed and swallowed the bacon before continuing.

“The school dance is today and if you don’t think I should go then I won’t.” I said, hoping that I’d be able to get out of going and dancing with smelly Bertha.

I’m sure Larry would be happier too; I mean when he found out I didn’t go to the dance with his girl… I mean if he really does like Bertha as I suspect he does.

Grandmother quickly jumped into the conversation with, “Oh my goodness, I almost forgot that it’s time for the annual Boyd Junior-High Snowball dance.”

She then looked at Grandfather. He was busy reading the newspaper. I’m not even sure he heard her at first.

“It is Fifty-seven years ago today that your Grandfather and I first met.” She said dreamily.

“Really? I thought you met at a fish market?” Mom asked.

“Oh well, yes. That was the second time we met. However, that was years later after we had both graduated.” Grandmother said and I noticed she was almost glowing as she reminisced.

Grandfather, without looking up from his paper, said, “And you were also still seeing that Jebins fellow; if I remember right. And then there were the Gallaher twins.”

Grandmother recoiled as if she’d just been accosted by a wet fish across the face. “I suppose I’m to blame that all the boys liked me?”

I had to quickly hide a smile when Grandfather lowered his paper, eyed Grandmother with a peculiar, but short gaze and then looked at me and winked before returning to his paper.

“Anyway, as I was going to say,” Grandmother returned her attention to me, “as long as you feel strong enough then you are obligated to attend the dance if someone has already asked you to go.”

“Somebody asked you to the dance?” John asked.

“Yeah, just some girl from school.” I answered.

Mom piped in with, “Alvin thinks the boy that beat him up…”

“He didn’t beat me up! I’m not the one lying in a hospital bed right now, am I?” I defended myself, “And his name is Larry.” I don’t know why I felt the need to clarify his name.

“Anyway, Alvin thinks that Larry likes the girl too.” Mom said, insinuating that I might have the hots for Bertha too.

“Hey, she asked me!” I said, feeling as though I had to defend myself once more, “I didn’t even know what the dance was until after she told me I was going with her.”

Grandfather made a sound like a cow belching and I couldn’t help feeling as though he was objecting to something I’d just said. Although I didn’t have a clue what part of it he was disapproving of.

I still am surprised I did what I did next. Call it bravery, call it sheer stupidity, but either way it was still kind of funny. I reached out and smacked the back of his paper without him seeing me do it.

He dropped the paper, eyed me up and down and exhaled loudly through his nose.

I then slammed him with a quick, “Love ya Grandfather!” as I cocked my head, batted my eye lashes and grinned like an innocent little cherub.

His eyebrows rose and he smiled, then forced the smile into a scowl as he rumbled, “Indeed!” and then shook his paper loudly as he refolded it.

Mom ended the conversation with, “We’ll see how you feel after school today. How’s that?”


Arriving at school riding in a nearly new black Beamer probably did a lot for my reputation. As to whether that was good or bad, remains to be seen.

“Yo Alvin!” a voice called from across the school yard as I was climbing out of Grandfather’s car.

“I will be right here after school.” Grandfather said to me.

I looked toward the voice and saw Fish and BB dredging through the snow toward me. I don’t know why they weren’t on the sidewalk, but they looked to be having fun.

I waved at them, closed the car door and stuck my head back inside the open window.

“Okay Grandfather,” I said to him, “I’ll come right out after school.”

Grandfather stuck his finger out the way Mom does when she’s upset with me, “Have a good day and no more fighting.”

I gave him a salute, “Yes sir! Catch ya later.”

I didn’t bother to join BB and Fish in the snow; I chose to wait on the sidewalk for them.

“Whoa! What happened to you?” Fish was the first to say with exasperation.

I had been expecting that question the moment someone who knew me, saw my fat lip and the stitches over my eye. I had a prepared, sarcastic response. “I walked into a door.”

BB softly stroked the back of my left shoulder, “Man, from the look of you, I’d hate to see the door!”

I suppose Bertha was trying to sneak up behind me, but I had smelled her coming from the moment I had got out of Grandfather’s car. She was right behind me when I said, “Hello Bertha!”

“Hey! How’d you kno…”, but she stopped in mid-sentence when she saw my fat lip, which wasn’t all that fat anymore. Even before she said anything I could tell that she was mad.

“Who did that to you?” she asked and it didn’t take a super detective to realize that she was about to boil over.

I decided to play if off and act dumb, “Did what?”

When I looked to Fish and BB for an answer, the two of them had expressions on their faces that said they weren’t about to play my game.

Bertha took hold of my arm kind of rough and turned me back so that I was facing her again.

“I’m serious. I want to know who did that to you!” she said through clenched teeth.

A part of me wanted to tell her exactly what had happened and who had tried to beat me up, but if I did I’d probably have to tell her my suspicions about Larry liking her. And well, I just didn’t feel like going there.

“Listen, it’s no big deal. And besides, it’s already been dealt with.” I pulled my arm out of her grasp. “Besides, I hear chicks dig a man with scars.”

I struck a pose and tried to look cool.

Fish slapped me on the back, not hard, but enough that I felt it in my lip. Jokingly he said, “Well Alvin, if you see a man let us know.”

“I don’t know about you guys,” BB started to say while tugging on the belt loops of his pants because he’d forgot to wear a belt, “But it’s cold out here and I really need a pee!”

As I started to follow Fish and BB into the school, Bertha grabbed my arm again, leaned down so that she was only a few inches from my face and hissed, “This isn’t over!”

I didn’t even think what to say, it just came to me. “Are you going to kiss me?”

She straightened up and blushed, so help me, I made Bertha blush! I’m talking about her entire head turning the shade of a fire truck.

She gave me a small, playful shove, “Get inside smarty-pants!” she said with an exceedingly embarrassed smirk.

“Hey,” I jovially complained, “Take it easy! I’m delicate!”

BB and Fish were several strides ahead of us now as BB turned and shouted back, “Hey Alvin, you should have Bertha kiss your booboos to make them better!”

Bertha nearly plowed me over as she took off after BB while shouting, “Wait till I get my hands on you and then we’ll see who has the booboos!”

I was laughing so hard that I forgot that I was supposed to be nervous about the school dance.