The next thing I knew, I was lying flat on my back looking up at… MY GRANDFATHER?!
“Grandfather?” I asked, unable to believe that I was suddenly seeing him.
“Lie still boy,” he said, while brushing my hair out of my eyes.
I heard something to my right and turned my head to see some strange lady and, “Stacks?” I said, unable to believe what I was seeing. Stacks was standing beside Grandfather and she was crying big whale sized tears.
“Alvin you scared the life out of me!” Stacks said half crying and half laughing.
I looked back to Grandfather, hoping he had some answers and noticed him wincing from the curse word that Stacks had flung passed his ear.
“Your perfectly fine boy.” Grandfather said with a soft nod of his head.
That strange lady came over and handed a white cloth rag to Grandfather. She then looked into my eyes, “You are fine Alvin. You had a little fainting spell, that is all.” Her words seemed to come out sounding almost robotic.
I didn’t realize how rude my question sounded when I asked, “Who are you?”
She told me her name and said that she was the school nurse. Then Stacks said that she ran to get the nurse after I passed out.
“I thought you were dead or something!” she said this time with more laughter and less tears and punctuated it with a hard sniffle.
Right about then a man walked into the room, I recognized him instantly. Well that’s not entirely true because although I knew he was our Principal and can remember Grandfather calling him by his first name of Carl, I could not remember his last name. Then again, I don’t think I have ever known his last name. I know it was an odd thing to be thinking about just then, but I can’t help what I was thinking.
Without getting up from my side Grandfather looked up to my Principal and smiled cordially before returning his attention back to me.
Now like I just said, I knew from earlier that day that Grandfather and my Principal were old buddies. So, when Grandfather saw him come in and hadn’t reacted surprised to see him; well that just didn’t add up for me.
Of Course I found out later that when Grandfather had dropped me off, he hadn’t gone home to watch Wheel of Fortune like he’d led me to believe he was going to do. No, instead he had spent the evening walking the halls and chatting with my Principal, while the two of them made sure that no one was getting into mischief. When I heard that much, it also explained how Grandfather had come to my side so quickly.
My Principal got one look at me and said, “Alvin Holloway, I’ve seen entirely too much of you already this year!” and then he winked so that I would know that he was only joking with me.
I hadn’t made the connection until much later that he had also remembered seeing me in his office on my first day at Boyd Junior High. I think he was right, he’d seen too much of me already this year and it wouldn’t bother me at all if he never got to see me again!
I know it’s anti-climactic, but that was pretty much the end of my evening. Once I was able to sit-up I said goodbye to Stacks; Grandfather thanked the school nurse and Stacks, and the Principal were going to escort us to our car, but as I was walking out of the nurses office Stacks called my name.
“Alvin?” she said almost as though she was begging me not to go just yet.
I stopped and looked; actually everyone had stopped and looked. Thankfully Grandfather, the Principal, and the school nurse had the decency to go on ahead and allow me to catch up to them.
Once we were alone, Stacks smiled, wiped at her eyes and I noticed that besides her red eyes from where she had been crying, she looked just as lovely as when I had first saw her that very evening.
“Sorry I scared you so badly.” She apologized.
I was going to say something cool like, “You didn’t really scare me” but we both would have known that wasn’t true. I mean, I had passed out right in front of her. Come to think of it, that’s the second time someone has scared me so bad that I lost consciousness. I don’t think I like the idea that I am a fainter. Anyway, as I was saying, I thought about saying something cool, but instead I apologized too.
“Yeah, well sorry I scared you too.” I said while kicking at an invisible pebble with my shoe.
She smiled wider as she added, “And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about this or about your…” she put her hands around her mouth and whispered the spelling of, “D I A P E R S.”
Just hearing Stacks spell the D-word made my heart begin racing again, but not like before. This time it was different; kind of the way Jacquelyn made me feel whenever she would email me and say something about them. I can only describe that feeling as being like a bunch of birds flapping their wings inside my chest.
“Oh and just in case he didn’t tell you;” Stacks had lowered her hands and continued speaking at a normal volume, “no one knows about Christian. Especially BB and Fish, so don’t let on that you know. He doesn’t want them to know.”
“Is he really Larry’s twin brother?” I asked.
“Yeah he is,” she said and just as before I hadn’t noticed that she was slowly moving closer to me. However, this time I wasn’t moving away. I also didn’t notice that the closer she got, the faster the birds seemed to flap.
“I think Larry knows about me.” I blurted out without even meaning to say it.
For some reason that made Stacks laugh a little.
“You don’t get it do you?” she said almost squealing.
She was only a couple feet away from me and still I hadn’t noticed that she was getting to close.
“Get what?” I asked.
“Larry and Christian might be total opposites on the outside, but inside they are exactly the same, right down to the same wetting problem.” She said.
I probably would have fell over from that bit of news had Stacks not done what she did next. She leaned down and kissed me right on the lips. It was a long kiss that seemed to last nearly an eternity. Okay, it was probably only a second or two, but it sure seemed a lot longer.
I don’t remember retrieving my coat and things or walking out to the car for that matter.
“Did I even say goodbye to Stacks?” I wondered to myself as I climbed into the front seat and instinctively buckled myself in.
My Principal poked his head into the car before I had closed the door. “You get some rest this weekend. I expect you back in school Monday morning and ready to hit the books.” He then shook my good hand and gave me a bump on the chin with the side of his thumb.
As we left the parking lot I turned so that I was facing Grandfather and pointblank asked him, “So Mom and John don’t know anything about what happened?”
Grandfather glanced at me and then returned his eyes to the road. “As far as they know, you’re still at school dancing your little heart out with your little girlfriend.”
“Grandfather! I said before, she’s not my girlfriend. And besides she and Larry, the guy I fought, they are boyfriend and girlfriend now.” I told him.
He shook his head, “A person would go insane trying to understand how you kids manage to leap from girl to girl so willy-nilly.”
I let that one go by without comment because I had something more important on my mind, “Grandfather, would it be okay if we didn’t tell Mom and John about what happened at the dance?”
“I suppose you don’t want me to tell her you wet yourself again either?” he said with a knowing smirk.
Without thought I reached down and squeezed the front of my pants. “Damn!” I cussed and unlike before Grandfather didn’t let that one go without comment.
Without taking his eyes off the road he reached out, took hold of my leg much the way he had done before except this time when he squeezed my leg it hurt.
“How about we make a deal here and now.” He began, “I won’t say a word to your folks about what happened if you promise me that you will clean up that filthy mouth of yours?”
Now, I know that sounded bad, but really it wasn’t. Grandfather hadn’t raised his voice and he didn’t sound angry. What he had done was get my attention and make me aware of the fact that I wasn’t going to get away with using dirty words anymore.
Since he was giving my leg the anaconda squeezing all I was able to do was nod my head in agreement. However, he wasn’t done with me just yet.
“And another thing.” He said squeezing my leg even tighter and I started to get worried because I didn’t know what was coming next.
“When we get home you are going straight to your mother and apologize.” He said.
That was when I found my voice, “But I didn’t…” I wasn’t able to finish my sentence. Grandfather’s hand further compressed the meat of my thigh and the pain choked the words right out of me.
You might think that I would have objected to him squeezing my leg so hard, but to be totally honest with you, it didn’t even occur to me. I mean, he is my Grandfather and well, he scares the crap out of me even when he isn’t trying to. It’s kind of like when a shark is swimming around you. Your best bet is to stay quiet and wait for it to go away. If you start splashing around and making a bunch of noise, odds are you’re eventually going to end up as shark poop.
“I don’t care if you are to blame or not. All I care about is that you are going to apologize to your mother and you are going to mean it.” He said.
I hadn’t realized it until afterward, but I had reached out and grabbed my Grandfathers wrist with my one good hand. Thankfully he loosened his death grip on my leg, but only a little.
After a very short moments thought I reluctantly agreed, “Alright, but you promise that you won’t tell either?”
“No I’m not done yet.” Grandfather said almost running over my words with his own. “From now on you are going to try a lot harder to get along, not just with your parents, but also with your Grandmother and myself.”
I started to say something, but he tightened his grip again, making it impossible to do more than whimper.
“Boy, I’m just getting warmed up here.” He said very seriously, but still without any anger or harshness in his voice. “Your mother and father are trying hard to get their lives together and to take care of you. They don’t need you making life any harder for them.”
He stopped long enough to take a breath before continuing, “With that said, I don’t want you getting into any more fights.”
He paused yet again and then added, “You are done sneaking around the house and sneaking out of the house for that matter.”
He gave my leg a squeeze almost as though he wanted to make sure I was paying attention and hearing every word he said.
“You will not get into any more trouble at school like you did this afternoon.”
Once more I tried to speak to remind him that what happened earlier today wasn’t my fault, but he didn’t let me.
“Oh no, oh no! Don’t try to tell me that it wasn’t your fault. Whether you agree with your teachers or not, you will obey them. They are adults and you will obey them no matter what, even if it means you have to pee your pants in class.”
He finally took his eyes off the road to look at me, “Are we clear so far?”
I nodded and realized that I was crying again.
He looked back to the road as he said, “Good. And one last thing.” He took another breath before saying, “You’ve got a wetting problem and your parents have come up with a solution that will keep you from having to go around all day in wet smelly britches. You may not like their solution, you may not agree with it, but by God they are your parents and you will obey them and not fight them on this.”
Again he looked at me, “Are we clear?”
I didn’t nod my head to that one because I couldn’t; not after what Stacks had told me. Instead I shook my head, wept and said, “But Stacks said that everyone can see that I am wearing diapers even under my clothes! Everyone is going to laugh at me!”
Apparently I had brought up a valid point, because Grandfather let go of my leg, smoothed the fabric of my pants with his fingers and then patted my thigh before returning his hand to the steering wheel.
Eventually I turned back in my seat so that I was facing the windshield again. I used the silence to calm myself down and used my bandaged wrist as a makeshift rag to wipe away my tears.
“I promise you this. Before the weekend is out, I will have a solution to that problem.” Grandfather said after a long period of thought and then he looked at me for some kind of reaction.
Not knowing what else I could do or say, I gave him a small shrug of my shoulders accompanied by a nod of my head. I guess I would have to hope and trust that by Sunday evening, Grandfather will have come up with something.
The End