Re: Alvin Ever After: Alvin in the Fourth

I was sure to stay out of the competition area and was out far enough that I could slide off my board, slip off my shorts, and swish them back and forth in the water to get them clean… well cleaner than they were. I was also careful to clean not just my backside but also my front too as the mess had smeared all the way through my legs and covered my hairless, wrinkled, sack.

“How do I poop so much when I hardly ever eat?” I groaned.

A familiar voice from behind me spoke, “I thought that was you!”

I spun in the water and shouted, “GARY YOU SCARED THE HECK OUT OF ME!”

“Ooh!” He said while ignoring what I had just said and was pointing past me, “Meek’s about to make his first run.”

Holding my board with one hand and trying to put my shorts back on while not hurting my knee and while watching Meek, was almost impossible, but I managed.

“Oh he’s too far back!” Gary observed.

“No, watch. He’s setting himself up for…” I began, “Oh there it is! YEAH GO MEEK!”

“Well I’ll be!” Gary exclaimed while helping to steady my board as I tried to straddle it.

As I did so I was sure, Gary would see my swollen knee and say something but he didn’t because he was too busy watching Meek.

“Did you teach him that?” he asked.

“Nope, that’s all him.” I said as I repositioned to get my knee under the water where the cooler temperatures would continue to help the swelling.

“Not the best I’ve seen thus far, but with that he’ll stay in contention for winning this shindig.” Gary commented.

Gary was being kind. Although it was a cool maneuver, the rest of his run didn’t show off his best skills. He’ll be lucky if he hangs onto first place after that run.

Without really thinking about it, I said to Gary, “I have a problem.”

“Which one?” He asked with a chuckle.

I pulled my knee out of the water and watched his face. He went stone cold serious.

“How the hell did that happen?” he asked.

I explained to him what had happened and while doing so I watched his face grow dark with anger. He looked toward the land as if my grandfather, Adam and Scotty were all standing at the shoreline mocking me.

“We need to get you in and get that taken care of.” He told me then pointed to my arm, “You’re bleeding too.”

Ignoring the blood comment I shook my head, “Can’t. That’s why I am way out here. Everybody and their mom are looking for my blonde head!”

Again watching the land, he appeared deep in thought. Suddenly he pulled his leg out of the water, unstrapped his leash and right before tipping himself over into the water he tossed it to me and said, “Hold this! I’ll be right back!”

He was down a long time; longer than I could have been. When he came back up, he plopped a fist full of Seadragon onto his board. Seadragon is a sort of long, leafy seaweed.

With no warning, he grabbed my ankle and pulled on my leg, nearly pulling me off my board in the process. It hurt so much that I screamed and began to sob big crocodile tears.

“Stay on your board. Whatever I do, stay on it.” He said while still keeping the tension on my leg.

He grabbed the Seadragon and went under again. I could not see what he was doing, but from the feel of it, I thought he was trying to rip my leg off at the knee.

I’d rather not include this, but why stop being honest now? I wept like a baby. I couldn’t help it; it hurt so much that I couldn’t stop the tears.

I felt him release my leg and when he came up he said, “Best I can do out here, but it should help. Now let me see that arm.”