A group of Ashford boys are chatting in the school yard. “So what do you think about the new uniform?” Tom asked. The rest expressed their disapproval, most of whom were transferring to Central Comprehensive to avoid having to wear it. “Lucky buggers.” Tom gulped.

“You’re not staying here are you?” John asked.

Tom nodded and said that in spite of his pleas, both his mother and father are insisting that he remain at Ashford because it’s a better school than Central.

“I heard that the head’s trying to turn it into an all-girl’s school, and wants all the boys to transfer out. No boy in his right mind will enrol at Ashford now… and those already here will have to dress and act like girls!” Anthony claimed.

“That’s bollocks Tony!” Callum retorted. “They might have to dress like girls but they won’t have to act like girls… and there’s a few boys on my street starting here in September… not that they want to.” he added.

“I heard she’s just trying to promote equality…” Peter said. “…by treating boys and girls the same.”

“If that was the case, then surely the girls would be wearing pants instead of the boys wearing skirts.” Anthony retorted.

“They’re not skirts, they’re shorts.” Tom insisted.

“They are girl’s shorts though.” Callum told him. “Called ‘clots’ or summit.” he added. “I wouldn’t mind wearing shorts for school but there’s no way I’m going to wear girl’s shorts.”

“You transferring too?” Peter asked him.

“Too right!” Callum replied. “You?”

“I hope so… but Mum doesn’t want me to.” Peter frowned. “She reckons Central’s too far away and that Ashford’s a better school.”

“Who cares?” John asked. “I’d rather walk across town to a crap school than dress like a girl at a good one.”

“We won’t be dressing like girls!” Tom insisted. “We just have to wear shorts.”

“Have you seen the shorts?” Callum asked. Tom shook his head, then gulped when Callum told him that they look just like a skirt, and a pleated one at that. “In fact, I think I’d rather wear a skirt than the shorts Mrs Bell is introducing!” Callum added.

“Well I’m transferring to Central… so I won’t be wearing either.” Callum smugly stated. The phrase ‘me too’ echoed around most of the group, with only Peter and Tom abstaining.

When Peter got home that evening, he told his mother that almost all of his mates are transferring to Central Comprehensive after Easter because of the new uniform rules. “More fool them.” Peter’s mother replied. “They’re sacrificing a good education.”

It’s not the first time that Peter has asked his mother to let him transfer to Central too. “Ashford’s a much better school and you’ve got your finals next year.” his mother reminds him. “You only get one shot at high school Peter, and transferring from a good school to one that’s not so good, just because you don’t like the uniform is madness!” she explained for the umpteenth time. Peter claimed that he’d still get mostly straight A’s at Central, and he’s probably right… but there’s more to it than that. “I know love, but it’s the distance too… I wouldn’t be able to afford the daily bus fairs, let alone an entire new uniform.” she tells him.

“But you’d have to buy me a new uniform for Ashford too.” Peter points out. “And those shorts are quite expensive apparently.”

“They are!” his mother replies. “Over thirty pounds a pair!!” she adds. “And you’d need at least three pairs.”

Peter frowns for a moment, before suggesting that it might be cheaper to pay the daily bus fare to Central than to buy the new shorts for Ashford. “Maybe so… but I’m hoping I can avoid buying you a new uniform altogether.” his mother replies.

“Really?” Peter asks with enthusiasm. He knows that the current fifth form boys will be exempt from the new uniform regulations, so maybe his mother has found a loophole. “How?”

“Well… I had a read through the new rulebook…” his mother replied, “…and your sister’s old uniform might do…”

“But she didn’t wear shorts.” Peter interjected.

“No but…” his mother began, picking up the new school rule book and flicking to the relevant page. “…the rules say that boy’s don’t have to wear shorts.”

Peter gulped as he took the booklet from her. He knows that there is no separate rule for the boy’s and girl’s uniforms as the rules simply state that all students must wear either a pleated skirt or a pair of grey box pleated shorts. “I can’t go in a skirt!”

“Of course you can.” his mother replied. “Those new shorts look just like a skirt anyway.”

“I know but…” Peter gulped. He cast his mind back to Callum’s claim that he’d rather wear a skirt than the new shorts, but he doesn’t have to wear either.

“I know it’s not ideal Peter, but those culottes are so expensive and it’s money we simply don’t have.”

“But…” Peter gulped. “I can’t wear a skirt… it’ll be freezing, not to mention humiliating.”

His mother reminds him that it’s springtime, which is usually followed by summertime, and he’ll be anything but ‘freezing’.

“I mean in winter.” Peter replied.

“You’ll be just as cold in shorts… and you did claim they’d be humiliating too.” she reminded him.

“I know but…” Peter frowned, “…surely you could find a Central uniform in a charity shop.”

His mother sighed and reminded her son why transferring to a new school isn’t a good idea. “Central has terrible pass rates and dreadful facilities… you know that.” she told him. And she was right. It is a daft idea to trade off a good school for an acceptable uniform. “You won’t be the only one wearing a skirt.” she claimed.

“I’ll be the only boy.” he claimed.

However his mother assured him he wouldn’t. “I know for a fact that Gina Marshall’s going to be sending George in a skirt.”

“Why?” Peter asked. “They’re loaded.”

“She doesn’t like the shorts.” his mother shrugged. “They’re more like culottes than normal shorts.”

“Yeah I know. I don’t think Tom Wickliffe knew until today… he looked mortified when Callum described them to him.”

“Is Callum staying too?” his mother asked.

“Nah… he’s going to Central with everyone else.” Peter said. “Lucky thing.”

“You’re the lucky one Peter.” his mother told him.