“Be brave.” I told myself as I walked towards my desk, past the stares and sneers with my head held high. I plonked my handbag on my desk, removed my jacket and slung it over the back of my chair before smoothing my frock and sitting down. I decided that the best course of action would be to act as if all is normal, as if I always wear a frock for work, almost as if I’m one of the girls. I certainly feel like one… kind of. I suppose it’s easy for me to imagine I’m a woman as from my point of view, I can’t see my head. “OK, maybe I’m not one of the girls.” I said to myself as my computer booted up. “But maybe they will accept me in time.” I mused as I sat my handbag on my lap. I focused on my manicured and polished finger nails as I pulled the zip open. I glanced at my knees, clad in 10 denier tan tights and wondered if I could ever get used to this as I rummaged for my USB stick. I plugged it in and waited for the operating system to scan its contents before I could get on with playing catch up. “What?!” I said, before hitting the Escape key a few times, then Control, Alt & Delete. The screen went dark and in the centre is an alert window with the words “Access Suspended” I hammered Escape, tried and failed to open the task manager, hit Control, Alt and Delete a few more times… all to no avail. My initial fear was that I’d transferred a virus from my USB stick, but I’m more savvy than that. I removed the USB stick and began to panic. I glanced up and noticed Josephine marching towards me.
“Mr Mason’s office please William.” she said in a stern voice. “And bring that with you.” she added, staring directly at the USB stick in my hand
“I was just about to get someone… my PCs locked me out.” I said as I pushed my chair back and stood up.
She looked me up and down as if looking at something on her shoe. “Mr Mason’s office… now!” she spat. I gulped and began to move. “And bring your handbag.” she instructed, somehow making ‘handbag’ sound like a dirty word.
I stepped back and grabbed my bag before following her to the end of the large open plan office. It felt like all eyes were on me as we headed to Rick’s glass fronted office at the far end.
I had a strong feeling I was in trouble as my line manager has never been referred to as Mr Mason before, it’s always been Rick or Richard. It’s either a problem with my USB stick or the fact that my assignment is late… or both… I figured. Maybe I’m not allowed to wear a dress, I wondered as I stepped into his office.
“Sit.” Rick sternly instructed. I sat with my handbag on my lap, keeping my knees together. “Well I’m sure you know what all this is about.” he said to me.
“I don’t.” I claimed. “My PC locked me out and Josephine told me come and see you.” I told him. I was about to ask if my attire is unacceptable, but Rick began to tell me exactly what the issue is. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The last thing I expected was to be accused of stealing confidential company information and he wasn’t at all impressed with my explanation. He asked if he could see the personal storage device I’d used to ‘steal’ the data, so I passed it to him as I reiterated that I’d ‘stolen’ nothing.
Josephine suggested they searched my handbag too, and that was emptied on to his desk. It contains a sandwich wrapped in cling film, a spare pair of tights and the pink umbrella my aunt insisted I need but have never had to use. From the various side pockets they removed my mobile phone, my house keys and my wallet, along with a bundle of till receipts, mostly from Mason’s Lingerie. He looked disgusted as he perused the receipts from his own mother’s lingerie shop, and then went on to accuse me of using the office to indulge in my bizarre fantasies. “I mean… what are you?” he asked in a completely perplexed tone of voice. “You dress in women’s clothing yet you don’t wear make-up. You wear a bra but don’t have a bust.” he added, staring at my flat chest. “You’re not exactly a transsexual or a transvestite are you?”
I hung my head and shook it.
He told me to put my things back in my handbag, “…but this we’ll keep hold of this for the time being…” he said, taking hold of my USB drive, “…pending an investigation.”
“What?” I peeped.
