That second day, a while after lunch, Mark and I had shoveled so many walks that we had plowed all the way over to Mike Rabur’s house. However, we didn’t shovel their sidewalk, because Mr. Rabur, Mike’s father, owns one of those enormous self-propelled snow blowers and had already cleared their driveway and sidewalks. Mr. Rabur had even cleared a path through the snow all the way around their house, sort of like a two-foot-wide snow moat. I’m not sure why he did that, but it looked cool.
Even though we didn’t get any money out of Mike’s dad, we did manage to hire his son away for the remainder of the day. Mike had seen us shoveling the neighbor’s driveway and came out to see us. Mark asked him if he wanted to help, and without hesitation, he jumped right in with gusto.
You know, at first, I thought maybe Mike might be freaked-out after what had happened at the party. I mean, I’d not only seen him in wet pants, but I’d also seen him naked. Conversely, Mike acted as though absolutely nothing had happened. Moreover, he acted like the three of us had been friends all our lives.
I’m not sure about Mark, but I had completely forgotten that we were supposed to be watching out for Sean. My guard was completely down as the three of us shoveled snow, talked and laughed a lot. Mike and I were shoveling out an old ladies sidewalk, from her door to her driveway, while Mark was down by the street shoveling out the driveway apron that had been buried by the snow plow. We weren’t really paying much attention to Mark until we heard a blood curdling battle cry. Mike and I turned to see Sean on top of Mark, who was lying upside down against one side of the snow mound. Before we could react, Sean sprang to his feet and ran off again. By the time we got to Mark, he was already staggering to his feet, and that is when we saw what Sean had done to him.
Like some sort of demented snow Ninja, Sean had snuck up on the unsuspecting Mark, tackled him from behind and pulled a half frozen, used GoodNite over Marks head. Mike stood there looking utterly shocked and confused while I fell to the ground laughing my butt off!
“I told you! I told you!” I blasted though my laughter, “I told you he’d get revenge!”
“That little…” Mark started to say.
“Is that…” Mike began, “Oh sick! It is!”
Mike looked like he was going to be sick as he said, “That’s ghastly! W-w-why would someone do that?”
“He’s a friend of ours.” I said.
“A friend?” Mike exclaimed.
“Well, he was!” Mark said under his breath as he threw the GoodNite down on the ground. It made a semi-loud squishing sound which caused me to double over again with laughter.
“Oh that sounded wet!” Mike said, and I think I saw a hint of a smile.
I explained to him how Sean had ambushed us the day before and how Mark and I had jumped Sean and filled his pants with snow. However, I purposefully left out the part about Sean’s GoodNite.
“Yeah, but still!” Mike said, “He put a wet diaper on Mark’s head!”
Mark stomped on it, “It’s not a diaper! It’s a GoodNite!”
Despite the fact that Mark had just worn one of Sean’s pee soaked GoodNite for a hat, I don’t think he should have ousted Sean like he did next. At least when he did, he also ousted himself to Mike.
Mark tried to wash some of the pee out of his hair using snow while saying, “Just wait! I’m going to mummify his head with one of my big wet Tena diapers the next time I see him!”
Shocked that Mark would say something like that, I looked to Mike to be sure he’d actually heard it. Boy, did he ever! Mike’s eyes were the size of car tires and his mouth was gaping open.
Mark realized too late what he’d said and the look on his face was just as mortified, if not more so, than Mike’s face was.
I started speaking without really thinking about what I was saying. Without spilling Mike’s secret, I told him about Mark and Sean’s problem and that it was a, “Super-ultra-high, top-secret, we’d-have-to-kill-you, chop-you-to-bits-and-feed-you-to-a-fat-woman-who’d-poop-you-out-if-you-ever-tell,” kind of secret.
Amazingly, Mike smiled and asked me, “So, they wet like me?”
Just like that, all three of their secrets were out. In an instant, every bit of the uncomfortable tension dissipated into the winter air.
For the remainder of the day, the three of us worked like machines. The subject of our conversation didn’t waiver, all we talked about was wetting, diapers and sharing our most embarrassing wetting memories. Of course I didn’t have any since I don’t share their problem but I did tell about the time I wore Mark’s wet pants. Actually, I’ve done that on many occasions now, but I only told Mike about the first time.
As we were shoveling our second sidewalk as a team of three, Mike stopped, leaned on the snow shovel and asked, “So are all three of you Teen-Babies then?”
Hearing it put so bluntly made it sound so, well, so perverted. Mark was the first to answer.
“No!” He said strongly, “I wish I didn’t have to wear these stupid things but it’s better than walking around with wet pants all day.”
I was getting ready to explain to Mike yet again that I don’t wear diapers, and I don’t wet my pants but I didn’t have too. Mark spoke up yet again.
“And Max doesn’t were diapers like we do.” He said motioning to Mike and himself. “He’s just…” he faltered while searching for the right word.
Mike jumped back in with, “Oh, I get it! Then you’re a daddy!” he said to me.
“What?” Mark and I exclaimed in unison.
“You just like caring for people who wear diapers.” He said.
It was hard to believe that Mike was only thirteen-years-old because he sounded much older and more educated on the subject than Mark or me.
Talk about being in the hot seat! Now Mark was staring at me the same way Mike was.
“You know something Mike? I think maybe you’ve figured Max out to a tee!” Mark said with a humorous huff.
Mark shoveled up a mound of snow and lobbed it at me, “Daddy Max!” he teased.
“Oh shut up and get back to work!” I said.
“Ok daddy!” Mike taunted too as he quickly began shoveling snow again.
As we worked and talked, we all kept a watchful eye out for another sneak attack by Sean. I assumed that Mark was in the clear now, he’d received his payback, but I feared that I was still on Sean’s hit list. However, we didn’t see any sign of Sean the rest of the day. In a way, I wish he would have just gotten it over with, so that I wouldn’t have to spend another day looking over my shoulder wherever I went.