Dante was suddenly very aware of a potentially embarrassing situation brewing below the waist. It would not do to get a giant boner in the middle of English class. Especially since he had unwisely decided to go commando today, in khaki’s no less! Dante decided to refocus his mind off the party and certain girls to cool down. What to do what to do?

Hmmm…he wondered if Mrs. Applegate was ever pretty. How long had she had that hideous bicep fat combined with the bizarrely tiny forearms? Was she growing a third chin? Did she think she was fooling anyone with that wig? Was she aware of her mustache? Had she considered crafting her lip hair onto her scalp and thus solving two problems at once? (Ahh…better)