Jamal was dressed today in nothing but a bright yellow baby t-shirt and his diaper was on full display. Oh perfect! Someone up there might not have liked Dante enough to grant him access into Heaven, but some kind of higher power must be watching over him this day.
“Follow my lead,” Dante whispered out the side of his mouth as they approached Jamal. Jamal, for his part, was all toothy smiles.
“Hello, Lysa!” Jamal said too cheerily.
“Jamal,” Lysa responded flatly.
“And how’s your little baby friend doing?” Jamal gestured to Dante. Lysa fumed but didn’t open her mouth. Good. Let him take the bait. “Is ickle Dante weddy to suck on his ba-ba and have fun wetting his dipees?” Jamal asked patronizingly, not expecting Dante to respond coherently.
“Oh. My. God. Lysa!” Dante exclaimed in amazement. “Jamal’s talking again!” Dante grabbed Jamal in a rough embrace. Jamal just sat on his knees, stunned. “Jamal, buddy! I was so worried you were past the threshold! When you started babbling nonsense I thought you were a goner for sure!” Jamal remained stationary.
“But… I didn’t…I thought…” Jamal stammered, shaking his head in disbelief.
Lysa sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose. “Well, he’s not all the way back. He’s still shitting himself without realizing it.” She patted the back of Jamal’s diaper. “But it’s a step in the right direction.”
“True that,” Dante agreed. “Good job, buddy!”
“Wait a minute!” Jamal protested, finally breaking Dante’s embrace. “I wasn’t the one going over the edge, you were!” he pointed an accusing finger at Dante. “And I definitely don’t shit my britches on accident!”
“You sure about that, lil’ guy?” Dante cocked his eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure it was you, kid.” Dante sniffed the air and grimaced. “Uh, you wanna do me a favor and get THAT taken care of.” he indicated Jamal’s dirty diaper.
Jamal started wailing and kicking his feet till a Judy came over.
“What’s the matter, Jamal?” the Judy asked. Jamal just kept crying, waiting for her to smell the mess he had made. She picked him up and checked the front of his diaper. “Still dry,” she declared before patting his rump. She pulled back the waist band of his diaper and looked in. “Not poopy, either.” Jamal quieted down, and was set back down on the carpet. “I’ll go get you a ba-ba.” she told him before leaving.
“See,” Jamal declared, “I told you guys I hadn’t messed myself. No way I’m slipping!”
“If that’s the case,” Lysa asked, a smirk of superiority plastered across her face “how come you didn’t know for sure? Why’d you need a Judy to check you?”
“Later! Baby!” Dante laughed as he and Lysa crawled away giving each other a high five. Jamal was so furious that he didn’t notice the front of his diaper getting warmer and start to sag as he glared at their retreating forms across the nursery.
Next, they approached two of the other survivors, Kevin and Vivian. “Oh, hi Lysa,” Vivian acknowledged as they approached. “Look, sorry about the last couple of days. It’s just that it always squiks me out when I see someone approaching the point of no return; and with…your rate of success…you know…look I already feel horrible. Let’s just let bygones be bygones. You’re welcome to hang with us again if you want to.” She finally looked at Dante.
“Hi Dante!” Vivian cooed. “Go on and play with the other babies, the big kids are just gonna do boring talky stuff for now.” She shooed for him to go away with her hands.
“Actually,” Dante spoke up, “I wouldn’t mind a little boring conversation, myself, if no one objects.”
“Whoah,” Kevin gawked. “Dante? You back dude?”
“Naw!” Dante rolled his eyes, “You’ve all just crossed over too and have learned the secret language of infants! Next comes the secret of the universe. Course I’m back, dumbass!” He smiled cockily
“But how?” Vivian asked. “I’ve never seen anyone come back from the copycat stage! That’s flippin’ amazing!”
“Well, you see-” Lysa took a deep breath, looking at Dante.
“Lysa did it!” Dante interrupted. “Everything she taught me just kicked in right before the end, and she dragged me back. She deserves all the credit. She saved me.” Lysa’s jaw dropped, and she got a little glassy eyed.
“Dante-” she said, unable to finish the sentiment.
“Dude,” Kevin remarked, “that’s awesome. Congrats to both of you!”
“You did it you did it you did it you finally did it!” Vivian squeed, bouncing up and down manically. “I’m so happy for you!” She hugged Lysa and kept bouncing.
“How’d it go down?” Kevin asked after Vivians siren shriek died down.
So Lysa told them the story. Dante’s break down, his babbling, her holding him in what would have been their last moments as people together. Her singing to him to say goodbye. Him finishing the song. Them celebrating the rest of the day through song.
“That was you?” Vivian asked in disbelief. “I heard you yesterday. I thought maybe they had gotten a guy Judy who sang really well.”
“That has got to be the most awkward compliment I’ve gotten.” Dante said, rubbing the back of his head.
“No man,” Kevin added, “you were good. Really good. If they ever bring Star Search to Limbo, you’d be a shoe in!”
“They call it American Idol now,” Dante informed him.
“Whatever,” Vivian said, “not the point. So music is your anchor, huh?”
“Well, that and someone else,” Dante answered looking over to a beet red Lysa.
“Sing for us, Dante, you gotta!” both of his fair weather friends begged.
“Well… I don’t kno-okay” Dante said, his ego getting the best of him. “But what do you want to hear?”
“Something happy,” Vivian chimed in. “But actually happy, with meaning, not like a nursery rhyme or something.”
“Forget that!” Kevin objected, “Sing something wild, something to rage against these angel bitches! Give them the middle finger through song! You-can-take-your-Limbo-and-shove-it!” Kevin sang in a bad southern accent. A song trickled into Dante’s brain from his personal play list. It was an oldie, and he’d have to tinker a little with the lyrics but it fit.
“I think I can do a little of both.” Dante smiled knowingly, nodding to himself. Dante closed his eyes and thought of Lysa; how she must have resisted and defied the Judy’s for decades all while seeming to play by their rules. Just enough cooperation to keep her out of the New Born Room permanently, but still being defiant in her own way.
The volume in his mind cranked up. Musically it was fast paced and happy, a song of celebration, but lyrically it was about defiance; a strong contrast This song was about both of them, now.
His muse empowering him, he wove the song like a spell inside him and readied to release it. He could almost hear the acoustic guitar strumming quickly in the background. He sang:
“Sunshine go away today,
I don’t feel much like daaaaancing.
Someone’s gone and tried to run my life.
I don’t know what she’s aaaaaskin’”
“Nice,” Kevin nodded his approval but kept listening. Vivian was grinning from ear to ear.
“She tells me I better get in line,
Can’t hear what she’s saaaayin’.
When I grow up, I’m gonna make it mine,
These ain’t dues I been paaaayin’!”
Lysa, never having heard the song before, only bobbed her head and clapped in rhythm. Laughing as she drew connections to the lyrics. Dante glanced around the room. As his voice carried, he realized, more people were looking at him, even the Judy’s seemed enrapt, their eyes glazing over and their mouth’s dropping slightly. Dante grinned. Time to bring it home! He closed his eyes and belted out the chorus.
“How much does it cost?
I’ll buy it!
If time is all we’ve lost,
I’ll try it!
She can’t even run her own life,
I’ll be damned if she’ll run miiiiiiiiiiine!
Sunshine!”
He heard Lysa gasp, and Vivian’s scream caused him to open his eyes. He couldn’t have been that bad, could he? He looked down at Lysa’s trembling form, on the carpet. He bent over to get a closer look. She looked horrified.
Looked down? Bent over?
He was standing up!
WAP!
Dante crashed to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut as a Judy spanked him. Not just any Judy, his Judy. As he tumbled to the floor, he noticed that she had been wearing earplugs. Why was she wearing ear plugs? The Judy tackled Dante and pinned him to the floor despite him not being able to move.
“ORPHEUS! ORPHEUS!” The Judy screamed at the top of her lungs. In an instant, Judy’s were dog piling on top of Dante. One was even lifting his legs up and continually, manically, frantically spanking him!
Dante could hear Lysa’s screams as a Judy unbuttoned her blouse, exposing her breast. She got on all fours and guided her breast to Dante’s face. If only he could sing. If only he could see Lysa. If only-
The nipple brushed across his lips, and his lips instinctively latched on and he began sucking down breast milk. It was delicious! Dante did not want to let go. He accidentally released a stream of pee-pee into his diaper. He didn’t care. He felt a mess squeeze out the back of him and coat his backside. Didn’t matter. His vision blurred, and it got harder to see. So what? He could still taste. His gums itched as his teeth retreated back into them. Awesome! That meant he could suck mommy’s titty harder and it wouldn’t hurt her. Dante’s head felt chilly as a Judy brushed some hair off of his head, leaving him bald.
The other Judy’s got off of Dante. They started undressing him, but Dante didn’t care. Clothes didn’t matter, only the Milk. So he just lay there as his layers of clothing were stripped.
Dante was in pure heaven as the Milk continued flowing down. He started to whine as mommy had him switch breasts, but soon enough he was suckling on her other tit. The scary giants around him were all screaming and crying. Too LOUD! Too LOUD! He needed quiet. He needed warmth. He needed Milk.
He felt hands touch his diaper, then withdraw. “We’ll change him when we get back to the Newborn Room,” he heard someone who sounded like mommy say. Dante felt himself being wrapped up in a warm blanket. He couldn’t move his arms or legs, but he didn’t care. He was warm and mommy was holding him and feeding him Milk. That’s all that mattered.
He heard a familiar voice start to yell something weird and scary. It sounded like a lullaby, like pretty music to sing him to sleep. Something about paper moo. Maybe cows. Cows made milk. The girl sounded like she was crying a lot while singing it so it didn’t sound as pretty as it could have. Then he heard a WAP, and the cow song stopped.
The last words Dante heard before his eyes rolled into the back of his head were “Contact the Saint.”