A dark eyebrow arched in accusal. “Really? You expect me to believe that? I can see his pants and boxers on the floor right over there. They’re clean.” Thank everything I wore my tan slacks and white boxers.

“He has no bladder control,” my would-be kidnapper countered. “This diaper would be wet within thirty seconds if I started tickling him.”

“Anybody will pee their pants if you force them to.”

“I…I…I…” my kidnapper stopped. “You’re just jealous that I got him first! Is that it?”

“Leave,” Janet said. “Take your daughter home. Take the rest of the school year off.” Her face became a lioness’s snarl. “And pray that I’ve forgotten about this by the time your daughter hits third grade.”