“Everybody’s first day is rough,” Annie offered. “You shoulda seen Chaz on his.” Chaz suddenly found.the mulch beneath him very interesting. “No wonder he got mistaken for a baby. He’s such a crier! Between how soggy he was and all those tears, I thought they were gonna have to hook him up to an I.V. to prevent hydration.”
Chaz’s lip pouted. “Don’t you mean dehydration?” He asked curiously.
There was some uncomfortable laughter; mostly from her. “I…used to be a nurse.” The last word was just barely audible. The sad sigh was very noticeable
I drooped my head. “I’m not trying to start a fight, but why are you guys such assholes?”
“Better an asshole than a brat.” Billy said. He said with the conviction of a man willing to get the mantra tattooed across his chest.
I looked at the others playing on the fresh equipment. So happy. Slipping away and losing themselves. More of that weird cognitive dissonance where I just couldn’t place the source. “Granted.”
“I’ll lay off tomorrow,” Billy promised. “Just don’t go spreading that story around.”
“Deal.”
Annie piped in, “And don’t be pulling that rookie stunt like asking to go potty like they’ll really let you do it. You’re in the Little Leagues now.”
“Yeah, quit acting like you’re better than us,” Billy said. “You’re not. You think you’re gonna be the next escapee? Cuz you’re not.” His words were unkind, but his tone wasn’t for once. A pleasant reversal from this morning.
“That wasn’t my intent,” I half-admitted. I was going to escape eventually just not… “How do you guys know about that? None of you were enrolled when that happened.”
Chaz chuckled grimly. “Something passed down to all the newbies. We don’t even know the kid’s name anymore, teach.”
“Dang,” Billy griped. “I forgot, you were here too. Why didn’t I think of that?” He cocked an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you take the fall for it?”
I shuddered. “Mrs. B. vouched for my innocence.” Oh for those halcyon days of old. “I’ll talk to you later. I’ll let you get back to your…whatever this is.” It sucks making yourself sad by accident.
Walking away, I started muttering to myself. Had to distract myself. Had to figure out something to do with the time I had left. It wouldn’t do to blow my shot at seeing Cassie in the final inning.
I saw Tommy still playing on the balance beam. Almost automatically, my gaze wandered over to the blue concrete hidey hole. Gears were starting to turn. At the time, I couldn’t say why. Maybe I needed another victory. Another monster to conquer. An obstacle to overcome. A Raine Forrest to outwit. Just…something bothered me about this playground and I didn’t have the personal insight yet to find the words as to why.
Casually strolling back along in short pants I waved over to Tommy. “Hey Tommy!” I called. “Wanna give me a boost?” An impulse was tickling its way up my spine. Time to see if Chaz’s intel was right. Competitiveness could be harnessed into helpfulness.
The guy pivoted so fast that one of the snaps on his inseam popped open. “On what?”
I pointed to the concrete tube. Tall-ish. Smooth. Not meant to be climbed on per se; just climbed in. “There!” He met me at the sight of the tube. “Help me climb it.”
Tommy’s look of inspiration mirrored my own. Without further prompting, he rushed over and got on all fours. I used his back as a stepping stool and squirmed up belly first to the top of the tube. The girl’s voices were still echoing with quiet whispers and giggles but I didn’t care. Still on my belly, I shuffled around and offered my hand. “Just don’t yank me down.”
Using my arm, Tommy pulled himself up to join me. “Neat idea, dude.” I’d done it. The most minor of victories. There was a small rush of endorphins just from sitting on top of the darn thing. Suddenly a little bit of that strange guilty buzzing was out of my skull. It was still there, but the act of climbing up; nay, the act of doing it with help from another Little reduced the pressure.
“So how’d they really get you?” Tommy asked. “Because none of us really have accidents at first.”
Zoge was on us before I could reply. “Tommy! Clark! No, no, no! That’s not for climbing on! Get down from there!”
Tommy’s shit eating grin didn’t fade all the way as the teacher’s aid scooped us up and set us down a good ten feet from the equipment. “I love you both, but don’t scare me like that. Next time I see you on top of that thing, you’ll be in timeout with me and Mrs. B! Got it?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” we said in unison as if we’d rehearsed.
Beouf threw a wink at me behind Zoge’s back. That’s when I realized I was having a tiny bit of fun. Goddamn it…
Patiently, I spent the rest of the time sulking by the gate for the rest of the play time. Next would be getting ready and loading the kids back on the bus before Janet picked me up.
“I’m very proud of how you’ve been today,” Beouf told me, opening the gate so we could return. “Your Mommy will hear good things from me and you’ll get that special treat she was promising.” I fake smiled to hide my real one and went back inside the air conditioning.
Funny side thought: Just because I was given kudos for expressing my bodily autonomy with Ivy, didn’t prevent any of them from checking my pants again and again and again. “Always give them back clean and dry if you can,” Beouf said.
“Yes Ma’am,” Zoge said. She inserted two fingers past Billy’s leg gathers. “Billy my love, it’s diaper time.”