The room was silent as I slowly stood back up and lifted her off of me to tuck her into her own bed; but just as her padded bottom touched the sheets, a timid crying arose from the child. The crying evolved into full-blown wailing as my arms lowered her even more. I was puzzled at the possibility that she may have become too attached to me. To end her cries, I immediately lifted her back up. The pacifier was still in the diaper bag and I was unsure as to how to take the item out while still supporting Lea with both of my arms. Fortunately, Amber came running back once she heard the crying and asked if anything was wrong.
“Uh, could you pull out Lea’s pacifier for me? It’s in her bag.” I whispered with a nod toward the diaper bag.
Amber quickly unzipped the pocket and plucked the paci into the little girl’s mouth. The stress on Lea’s faced consequentially from my last actions quickly dissipated as she continued suckling on the silicone nipple. I gently patted her hair, subconsciously apologizing for giving the child such a fright and making her think I was going to leave her. After a couple of minutes, she was back to sleeping peacefully.
“I don’t see a care in the world on her face.” I told Amber, who was standing along side with me.
“She’s happy now.”
Another silence came over the room.
“Thanks for coming when you came.” I replied, turning to her.
“It’s no problem.” She said, smiling warmly.
The incident that had just occurred replayed in my head as I wondered how to put it out in words. “Has Lea ever… become too attached to you?” I asked hesitantly.
“What do you mean?” Amber intrigued quizzically.
“Well, that was kind of the reason why she got so upset. I noticed she was dozing off so I decided to put her in her bed, but all of a sudden she started crying more and more when I tried to let go of her. And… well that’s when you came in.” I explained nervously.
Amber thought for a moment before finally opening her mouth.
“Huh, yeah she’s never done that to me. Even as an infant, she would rarely cry for anything other than her bottle.” She said, scratching her head.
Amber bit her thumb as she slowly took a number of steps around me and my little girl.
“My mom always used to say that boys would become attached to their mothers at a young age while girls would become really connected with their fathers. That happened a lot in my family; and I can bet this is happening here as well.” She explained, nodding.
“The workers in the orphanage were hardly, if at all, men. So, Lea never really had a father-like influence in her life.” She released a small smile as Lea squirmed quietly in my arms.
“Looks like you’re filling in those shoes now, Marshall.” Amber added. “Don’t worry about it though; everyone craves a little attention once in a while.” She smiled once more. “You’re a great father, Marshall Soel; don’t forget it.”
“I really appreciate that.” I uttered quietly.
Amber made her way out of the room and closed the door behind her. I continued rocking my child back and forth. She was dreaming; I could tell. Her eyes were moving rapidly behind her eyelids and every so often, she would start suckling on her pacifier again. She was so beautiful. I brushed away an individual curl of hair from her face and continued rocking. After a certain amount of time, I myself was beginning to feel sleepy. I snapped my eyes back open and lifted myself off of Lea’s bed. I shook my head as another growing pain began to emerge. Stephanie’s possible betrayal in our relationship was already taking a toll on my brain.
“What the hell’s going on…” I thought to myself.
I knew whatever was happening between me and Stephanie had to be resolved soon because there was no way I was going to stress myself over this for so long. Today was going to be solely for Lea, but tomorrow I would have to confront and resolve this problem once and for all.
