Megan agreed on a compromise: she’d stop wearing diapers for the time being, but they’d always be there when and if she needed them.
“Oh thank God,” Nancy said after Megan had announced her decision. “Don’t get me wrong, they were fine for when you needed them, but I don’t know what I would have done if you’d gone on wearing them forever.”
“The thought never crossed my mind,” Megan replied, chuckling nervously.
Getting out of diapers was, of course, easier said than done. After wearing them for 3 months, Megan had become quite accustomed to not holding back her pee. She was barely cognizant of when she was wet and only knew to change after checking her diaper periodically. Unthinkable only a mere twelve weeks ago, it had become her routine. However, just as she had been conditioned to wear and wet her diapers, she could likewise be unconditioned as well. It would require the implementation of a progressively regimental procedure of behavior modification commonly known as potty training.
Much to Megan’s chagrin, getting herself out of diapers was something that she could not do alone. She would have to reach out to her family to assist her, and did not relish the embarrassment it would cause all of them. She pitied her siblings most of all: “I helped potty train my older sister” seemed like an episode of Jerry Springer just waiting to happen. Nonetheless, they all agreed to lend their support. Megan took to not wearing anything over her diapers around the house and family members would routinely check her and let her know if she was wet and wetting. Her self-consciousness, it turned out, had also been conditioned away.
“Was it this hard the first time?” Megan asked her mother after she had failed to make it to the toilet yet again.
“No,” Nancy told her. “You were quite easy to train and took to it early. So did Carrie for that matter, although she had a few accidents afterwards. Stephen took forever.”
“What were you saying about me?” Stephen asked, passing by.
“Just how difficult you were to potty-train,” Nancy informed him.
Stephen quickly placed his hands over his ears. “If I didn’t hear it,” he said, “it can’t embarrass me.”
“Then I guess you can’t hear us talking about the time you pooped your pants on vacation and the whole car stunk for fifteen miles because we couldn’t find a place to pull over,” Megan said with a coy smile.
“Shutup,” Stephen hissed, his face glowing red.
“Cut it out,” Nancy interceded. “I’m sure we’ve all had our share of embarrassing moments….”
“Like the time that you accidentally tried to frost a cake with spackle,” said Drew.
Nancy rolled her eyes. “Thanks, Dear.”
“I think I might have something that might help with the…er…training.” He produced a small, wand-like device and handed it to Megan.
“What is it?” she asked.
“You clip it on the front of your diaper and it will vibrate when you wet. It’s a prototype. One of my tax clients works for the firm that designed it. I had to embellish a bit to get a hold of it, but…”
“Thanks, Dad,” Megan said. This was guaranteed to help things along. At the very least, it would be better than everyone poking and prodding and staring at her diaper all the time.
On the day that Megan was set to leave Bledsoe’s for good, a miraculous thing happened: Josh returned. She walked into work to find him behind a register, a warm smile upon his face as he assisted a customer.
“Hello Meg,” he said as if nothing had happened. Megan shrugged. If he wanted to downplay it, that was his business. And yet, as the day moved on, she felt an increasingly burning curiosity that beseeched her to inquire….
“Why the hell did you come back anyway?”
“This is my home,” he explained. “In a manner of speaking. Besides, while I had a lot of fun, I can’t pay the bills with bit parts.”
“Right….but still? Don’t you think that you can do better than here?”
“Perhaps. But its a good fit.”
“Whatabout Vern?”
“Whatabout him?”
“Aren’t you sick of him?”
Josh grinned. “I’ll let you in on a little secret,” he said, drawing Megan near enough to whisper in her ear. “Vern’s life is this store. He’ll always do what’s best for it. He could have very well canned me for my prolonged absence, but instead welcomed me right back. Because it was what’s best for the store. I hope you realize that for all of his griping – and all of our griping about him – no one has been fired and no one has quit. As I said, it’s a good fit.”
“Yeah,” Megan replied. Perhaps she had been hasty in her judgment. Perhaps she didn’t really want to leave. She’d see how she was feeling come winter and make her decision then.
“So,” Josh said. “Back to college again, eh?”
“Yup.”
“Any closer to deciding on a major?”
“Nope.”
“That’s all right. I have a feeling you’ll figure it out.”
“God….I hope so.”
“So is this your last day?” Natalie asked, walking in the door.
“Until winter.”
“Oh,” she replied, somewhat confused. “OK.”
“Did I miss something?” Josh asked.
Megan and Natalie stared at one another and began to giggle.
“Nevermind,” they said in unison.
Two days before her summer ended, Megan went shopping. More aptly put, Nancy took Carrie and Stephen shopping for their school supplies and Megan decided to tag along and re-stock as well.
“I’m going to need new clothes,” Carrie said.
“Again?” Nancy responded with an annoyed sigh.
“Well, I haven’t decided on a new look yet and…”
“Why don’t you just forget the new look?”
“If she gets new clothes,” Stephen protested. “Than so do I.”
“You don’t even like getting clothes,” Carrie pointed out.
“Yeah, but if you’re getting them, I’m getting them too!”
“Um…guys,” Megan interrupted. “Why don’t you worry about stuff you actually need?”
“Like what?”
“Paper, pens, notebooks,” said Nancy. “What I guess you can call the basics.”
Stephen scoffed. “What do I need that stuff for?”
“Was I this difficult?” Megan whispered to her mother.
“No,” Nancy replied. “You were relatively easy.”
Easy, Meg thought. She couldn’t remember the last time anything in her life seemed easy. Call it overcompensation: this summer represented several years worth of meltdowns and breakdowns and catastrophes and conniptions that should have happened over time when she was younger but didn’t. Scratch overcompensation; call it deferred payment instead.
Packing for Megan was no joy. She spent hours searching for the most efficient way to accommodate her belongings. Between her car and Drew’s car, there would be plenty of space…but also plenty of things to fill that space. Questions arose: what clothes can I afford to do without right away? Wintery stuff obviously, but Megan never knew when the weather would swing cold again. Personal items: books, music, her journals. She was deathly afraid that they would be crushed or otherwise damaged in transit. Last, but not least, diapers. Though she was back to normal panties (finally), she still had a fair amount of them leftover. Nancy had asked her to throw them away and Megan agreed that she would. It was a fib at the time, but she was beginning to reconsider. Could she resist the urge to act like a baby everytime something didn’t go her way? Oh, so what if she did indulge: there was no harm in it, right?
Megan gathered up her diapers, her pacifier, the toys she had unearthed and everything else that could be considered babyish and placed it all in a plastic bag. She could not, however, bring herself to throw it all away. Despite her declarations that it was just a phase and meant nothing to her, it was too much a part of her to simply dismiss. She wound up emptying the bag into a box and stored it with her other things.
Her final day at home was spent with her friends and her final evening out to dinner with her family.
“It’s been a rocky summer,” Drew said, raising his glass of ginger ale in a mock toast. “Here’s to a better school year.”
They all toasted, drank, ate. Uncharacteristically, Megan practically stuffed herself: she knew she was in for several weeks of dorm cuisine once again and wanted to be sure she remembered what real food was supposed to taste like.
Her last night was an anxious one. She lay awake in bed, unable to sleep, periodically glancing over at her box full of diapers. She was starting to get down on herself once again. No boyfriend, no idea what direction her life was going to take…it made it hard for her to stay positive. Then again, she reasoned, maybe a bit of mystery was a good thing.
The drive to college was long. With traffic and a fully loaded vehicle, it felt longer. The campus was bustling with activity when she arrived. The lots were parked up, droves of her fellow students and their families were loading and unloading. Megan double-checked her housing assignment: she was on the fourth floor of a six-floor dorm. The line for the elevator extended practically out the door, but there was no way she or anyone else would be able to make it up the stairs.
While waiting in line for the elevator, the urge to pee hit hard.
“Oh, no fair,” Megan grumbled. The line was advancing at a snail’s pace to boot. Desperation kicked in and her face took on an unnatural, strained quality. She thought of how easily it would be to simply let go….if only she was wearing a diaper. Maybe she wasn’t as sucessful in her training as she thought. Maybe she still had a need for them after all. Maybe…
The chime above the elevator sounded, signaling its return to the ground floor. The door opened, a group of people squeezed on out and another group flooded in. The tail end of that group consisted of Megan and her family. She had been saved by the bell.
An hour later, everything was unpacked and Megan had settled in. She’d seen her family off, given them hugs and kisses all around and promised she’d call. She warned her siblings to be good and go easy on her parents. She asked that her parents go easy on her siblings. The Alder family, which feuded like no other, was united in proud smiles when she left them. I really am the glue, she thought.
Megan flopped down on her bed having just made it. The unpacking and setting up made her quite tired. Time for a nap….
No sooner had she closed her eyes than did she hear the sound of the door being opened. Kylie stood before her, bags in hand.
“Sleeping already?” she asked.
“Uh-huh,” Megan said and promptly yawned. “Tired from unpacking. You just get here?”
“No. I was here earlier, dropped off a few things and now I’m back. Didn’t you get my note?”
“What note?” Megan asked.
“The one….shit, must have blown out the window.”
“Well…what did it say?”
“That I’d be by later.”
“Okay then.”
Megan helped her unpack. By the time another hour had passed, they were both tired and the room looked as if it had been lived in for weeks. With nothing left to til later, they spent some time swapping stories.
“People in your town ever get a clue?” Megan asked.
“A little,” Kylie replied. “They aren’t as mean to me.”
“That’s good. What about your grandparents?”
“They’re even meaner.”
Megan frowned.
“Howabout you? Still in diapers?”
“Nope,” Megan answered, raising her shirt to proudly show off her panties. “I potty twained.”
Kylie giggled. “What about that crazy bitch who was stalking you?”
“I knocked her out,” Megan said. “She won’t be stalking me any more.”
“Woohoo! Way to go Meg.”
“It’s not funny,” Megan said. “I was freaking out. Fortunately, I got some help, but anyway….did you meet anyone?”
“No. Did you?”
“No.”
“God…we suck.”
“Totally.”
It was sundown when the RA finally approached them to make introductions.
“Hey, I’m Gary,” he said. “First floor meeting is at 8. I just thought I’d see how everyone’s doing first. You are….” He glanced down at a sheet. “Megan and Kylie, right?”
They nodded in unison.
“Excellent. It’ll probably be a few weeks before I get everyone’s names down, but hey. How were your summers?”
“Boring,” Kylie replied.
Gary chuckled. “I hear that. Howabout yours?”
Megan took a deep breath. “It was….umm……why don’t you get back to me on that?
The End
