When did I fall in love with Pearl? Of course, it’s impossible to pinpoint the exact moment you fall in love. Love is a lot sneakier than that. I know, however, when I admitted to myself that I was in love. It was the time when she did that Charlie’s Angels hair flip and my ears started ringing, my vision tunnelled and she seemed to move in slow motion. I felt dizzy. That’s when I knew.
It wasn’t always like this of course. When Pearl was younger I had a lot of affection for her, but I didn’t love her. She was my neighbour’s daughter, and I watched her grow into the beautiful eighteen year old woman she is today.
She came over all the time and I didn’t mind. She was energetic and fun and she brightened my day. She was definitely spoilt though. Her parents, being successful professionals, seemed to have little time for Pearl, making up for it by giving her a substantial allowance and hiring staff to keep the household going. They even gave her an expensive sports car for her 18th birthday. At first I’d thought they’d be concerned that Pearl was spending so much time at my place. After all, I was a single guy more than twice her age. Then I realized they probably didn’t know where Pearl was, and they didn’t seem to care much either.
Despite the constant coming and going of friends, the pool parties and all the luxury surrounding her, Pearl seemed like a lonely girl. I think that’s why she came over so often. Working out of my home office, I was more available to her than her own parents and we had more in common than you’d think. She enjoyed my movie collection and what she called my “retro” taste in music, and I didn’t mind her adolescent chattering. She wanted to be a film star. Then she wanted to be a model. Or be in a band. I found her enthusiasm charming.
Things change when you fall in love with someone. When Pearl came over she always used to cuddle up to me when we were watching a movie and if she got sleepy she’d rest her head in my lap and doze off. All that was quite nice when she was younger. I’d stroke her hair softly, gently waking her when the movie was over and she had to go home. Now I was acutely aware of the closeness of this shapely young woman and things were getting more complicated. Determined not to let my fascination with Pearl spoil our relationship, I’d still let her do those things, it was just harder for me. There was no way I was going to betray her trust in me. When she cuddled up to me, I tried to seem unaffected despite my racing heart, and when she rested in my lap I’d have to concentrate very hard on the film. Sometimes she’d wiggle around a bit and I’d have to get up, pretending to go to the bathroom or fetch some more popcorn so she wouldn’t notice the effect she had on me. I’m not sure if she did that on purpose. Pearl did like to have control.
Chapter 2
Summer holidays were coming up fast, but I had some work to do first. Sitting in my study with the sun shining outside, I was getting bored with spreadsheets and reports, my eyes repeatedly drifting out of the window overlooking the neighbour’s yard. I watched as Pearl climbed from the pool, her body glistening wet. She was quite skinny and her breasts small, but her body still looked wonderful to me. As she bent over to pick up her towel a little sigh escaped me, and I leaned over my desk to get a better look. Just then Pearl turned and looked up at my window, giving a little wave when she spotted me there. Like a guilty man I jumped and quickly slumped back in my chair, embarrassed to be caught looking at her. “Damn,” I thought. A year ago I would have smiled and waved back, but now I was behaving like a peeping tom. Surely Pearl would notice this change in me. Women seem to have an instinct for these things, and my confused behaviour might spell the end of the relationship Pearl and I shared. I didn’t want that at all. I’d had crushes before, and I knew they didn’t last forever. Anyway, this one was particularly silly and no reason to spoil a friendship. I decided to go down to the pool and attempt some damage control.
Pearl was lying on a sun bed when I entered her back yard. Raising herself on her elbows she removed her shades and smiled at me.
“Hi John, what’s up?”
I didn’t look at her body, tanned and stretched out on the sun bed. Instead, I restricted my vision to her eyes. It felt forced and unnatural, the way it does when you’re too self-conscious. It didn’t help either. Her sparkling blue eyes seemed to draw me in. She winked at me.
“Nothing much,” I mumbled. “Getting the last of my work done before the holidays. You?”
“Just hanging out.”
“So, where are all your friends?”
“They’re out of town. Went to someone’s beach house I think. Probably Heather’s.”
“Didn’t you want to go?”
“Nope.” Pearl turned away.
“Why?”
“Doesn’t matter,” she pouted. “Anyway, I’m not hanging out with them anymore.”
“Really? Why not? ‘Cause they used to be here all the time.”
“What’s it to you anyway?” Pearl muttered annoyed. “Go get the sunscreen would you. I don’t want to get a burn.”
“Sure.”
While she rubbed the sunscreen onto those lovely legs I felt concerned for Pearl. For all her bravado, she was quite vulnerable and falling out with the group can be hard for a teenager.
“So, tell me about your friends. Why don’t you want to see them anymore?”
“I don’t think I should tell.”
“Come on. You know you can trust me. We’ve known each other for ages.”
“Yeah, I know. Promise you won’t tell anyone?”
“I promise.”
“Well, Heather has this new boyfriend and I think he’s a dealer or something ’cause he’s always bringing all these drugs and things and now Heather is into it too and the others as well and I just don’t want to deal with that right now so I didn’t want to go and I think Heather is pissed at me, but I don’t care.”
Pearl could talk like a machine gun at times.
“I see.”
“And it’s not like my life isn’t chaotic enough, right? And so I said I couldn’t go, but now mum and dad are going on a fucking ‘second honeymoon’ to Italy, which SO isn’t going to work, and there’ll be no-one here except the housekeeper and I don’t like her at all and I’ll be all lonely.”
“Right.”
“But that’s okay, because I’ll just stay with you.”
“What?”
“It’s just for a few weeks. We’ll hang out. You’d like that, right?”
Of course I’d like that. I’d like nothing more. I just didn’t think it would be a good idea right now. Not with my crush on her. She smiled at me, her big blue eyes sparkling with humour. I had to pull myself together.
“It’s not a good time for me right now. I may be going away too. You know, for the summer.”
“Where?”
“Ummm…. to Mexico. I’m going to Mexico.”
“No you’re not.”
“I’m not?”
“No. You’re just saying that ’cause you don’t want me to stay with you.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you’re in love with me.”
I studied her face to see if she was kidding, but she wasn’t. She was just as serious as her matter-of-fact tone implied.
“You love me, and you think I don’t know and that I’ll be offended since I’m younger than you, but I’m not you know. Offended.”
“But…”
“I don’t mind that you love me, stupid. I can’t be your girlfriend or anything ’cause that’d be weird, but you’re kind and I do like how you take care of me and stuff. You make me feel, well… safe I guess. So what if you have a crush on me? Big deal. It’ll pass. I trust you, you know that.”
“That’s, ummm… nice.”
“So, Tuesday then. My parents leave on Tuesday. I want the nice spare room though, not the small one.”
I had to laugh. Pearl seemed to have everything worked out already.
“Don’t be a brat, Pearl.”
“But that’s what you like.”
“I suppose. But I like it when you’re cute and cuddly too.”
“I know. So do I. It’s my favourite personality.”
Chapter 3
Four days had passed since Pearl dumped three suitcases and two large bags in my hall, simply assuming I’d carry them up to her room for her. She looked nice in her plain short skirt and top. No make-up or anything, just the natural good looks of a young, attractive woman. She wore her blonde hair in a ponytail as usual.
I had just come back from the store. I wasn’t used to shopping for two, and I kept running out of stuff. Especially coco-pops, which Pearl seemed to love. I found her sitting on the couch, studying a stack of DVDs.
“You have the weirdest porn.”
I didn’t really want her looking through that stuff.
“I mean, what’s this? Like ten hours of upskirt shots? Twenty? And it’s all just panty shots isn’t it? Except this one where the girls wet themselves too,” Pearl waved a DVD in the air. “No regular stuff, like fucking or blowjobs or anything? I guess you really like undies, huh?”
“We all have our quirks, Pearl. Leave it, it’s personal.”
“It’s just… It’s kind of funny. I wear panties every day and I don’t think about it at all, and you, like, worship them or something. So did you check out your hamper yet? You know, to sniff my undies? It’s okay you know, I wouldn’t mind,” she giggled.
“Pearl, please.”
“Of maybe you’d like to peek up my skirt?” She wriggled her bum at me while flipping her skirt teasingly. “Bet you like that. Sneaking a little peek at the panties of the girl you luuuuvv,” she laughed.
“That’s nice. Thanks a lot, Pearl.”
I’d had enough. I didn’t mind Pearl being your everyday teenage brat because I knew she had a good heart, but I wouldn’t stand for this. I didn’t know what made me angrier – that she felt she could ridicule me like this, or that my crush on her was something she could have fun with. Quietly I turned and walked out, got in my car and drove off. I really couldn’t deal with her right now, and I needed to calm down and clear my mind.
When I returned a few hours later I could see Pearl had been crying.
“I’m sorry,” she spluttered as soon as I entered. “I didn’t mean to make fun of you, and I was horrible and mean and I bet you hate me now and I don’t blame you.”
“Shhh… it’s alright. I’m not mad at you anymore,” I whispered. I hugged her and she seemed tiny and frail just then. Like a lost little girl.
“But it’s not alright. You’re always kind to me and you let me stay when I asked you because I was lonely and I didn’t really want to make fun of you ’cause I really like you and it’s really mean and horrible to behave like that when someone has a crush on you and I’m so, so sorry. Don’t be mad. Please?”
“You know I can’t stay mad at you, Pearl. No matter what you say or do, it’ll always be alright in the end.”
“And that’s what I mean,” she smiled sadly through her tears. “You’re always there for me. Always! Even when nobody else is.”
Sitting down heavily on the couch Pearl continued, her voice sounding very small and fragile.
“And I should know better than to make fun of your quirks and turn-ons, ’cause I have my own and I know it’s a very sensitive and personal thing and you shouldn’t mess with it.”
“I suppose it does seem rather silly, this thing I have for panties.”
“But it’s not really. ‘Cause it’s part of who you are and you should never make fun of those things because they’re important and it’s like making fun of your beliefs or religion or something.”
“Yes, I have an underwear religion!” I laughed.
“Stop it! You know what I mean.”
I sat myself beside her and hugged her again.
“Yes I do know what you mean. Thank you.” I wiped her tears with my sleeve.
“So anyway,” she said. “I think I need to tell you something about, well… my quirks I suppose. ‘Cause I want to share that with you, and it’s only fair since I went prying into your personal stuff and behaved like a complete bitch about it and everything.”
“If you want.”
“I do. Promise you won’t be shocked or anything?”
“I promise. Unless you like murdering people. Then I’d have to turn you in.”
“It’s not that,” she smiled grimly.
“Good.”
“So, you know how I can be a bit bossy and controlling at times?”
“Oh yes!”
“Don’t be mean.” Pearl punched me playfully in the chest. “Anyway, I think it’s because a lot of the time I have to do everything on my own. I have for a long time. My parents are always busy, and even thought they have money and stuff, our home life is a chaotic mess really. There’s never time for anything and everyone’s always yelling and we never listen to each other. To be honest, I’ve been expecting my parents to divorce for ages now. It’s really stressful and there’s a lot of uncertainty. There’s, like, no stability, you know? So I always feel like I have to be in control of everything.”
Pearl cuddled up to me on the sofa, her body warm and soft against me. I felt an almost overwhelming need to protect and comfort her. I kissed the top of her head.
“So,” Pearl continued. “Every now and then, when I really need to unwind, like, when everything has been really stressful and stuff, I like to, well… drop my guard and let go of everything. Like, not control anything anymore. For a while.”
“Um, okay. What do you mean exactly? Like, watch bad TV-shows and pig out on candy? Because we all do that, you know.”
“No, not that. I like to, well… be a bit childish. Not like a toddler or anything, but, like, suck my thumb a bit, maybe play with dolls and stuff. Not being a grown-up for a while, you know?”
“That’s not so weird, Pearl.”
“And… ummm… when I’m like that, I like to, well, you know, not control anything. And I mean ‘anything’.”
“What are you trying to tell me, Pearl? Because I know there’s something, but you’re not really saying it.”
Pearl hesitated, like she was going to take a giant leap. Then she blurted out:
“When I’m in that mood I wear diapers, okay? Diapers! There, I’ve said it! I’ve never told anyone else, and now you know.”
I couldn’t believe Pearl was blushing. I’d never seen her blush before. She looked adorable.
I thought about it for minute. To be honest I wasn’t too shocked by this. After all, I’d visited a few ABDL sites on the net and, although they never really interested me much, I wasn’t bothered by it either.
“Okay. I can see that,” I said. “When you’re going through a particularly stressful time, I can see the comfort in living the life of a little girl with no responsibilities at all. At least for a while. And the diapers add to that feeling of comfort and safety, I’m sure.”
“Yes! Oh, and also… I, um… I use them. The diapers.”
“Really?” I wasn’t sure I completely understood. “Is that because you like it, or because you need them?”
“No, it’s not like I need them at all. I hardly every wet the bed – like once or twice a month tops. And I almost never wet myself during daytime. Well, maybe sometimes, but not much. And I only mess myself by accident like three or four times a year. It’s not like I’m a baby or anything.”
That didn’t sound completely normal for an eighteen year old, but I wasn’t going to bring that up now. Pearl seemed defensive about this and it had obviously taken great courage for her to open up, so I held my tongue and let her continue.
“If I want to wet my pants – and I do like to sometimes – I have to concentrate a bit before letting go. But it’s different with the diaper on. I’ve been doing this for so long, ever since I was like nine or ten or something, and I think my body has gotten used to it. It’s like, when I put diapers on I have to go immediately and I have hardly any control at all – like my body knows it’s okay to go whenever it wants. I sometimes don’t even notice it when I wet. And if I sleep in diapers they’re always wet in the morning, and sometimes even messy. So I guess I need them, but only when I wear them if that makes any sense.”
Pearl looked up at me with big, puppy eyes, her lower lip quivering.
“Do you think I’m dirty and disgusting?”
“This is something you like to do? Using diapers helps you cope and deal with pressures in your life?”
“Yes.” Her voice was shaky and she looked genuinely distressed. I was surprised that she was actually unsure if I’d accept this side to her or not.
“If that’s what makes you happy, then I don’t mind. Why should I? You know how I feel about you Pearl, and you must know that all I want is for you to be happy and content. And if this helps you, then I’m glad. Honestly.”
“Thank you,” she gasped, hugging me tightly for a long time. When she pulled away, she dried another tear from her cheek. “I knew you’d understand. I knew you wouldn’t judge me, ’cause you’re not like that.” She kissed my cheek.
“So, are you wearing a diaper now?” I asked. I hoped she wasn’t though. I was pretty sure I’d be fine with it, but I still preferred to have some time to think this through and adjust.
“Nope.”
“Do you want to?”
“Not really. Not right now. But, look. I don’t expect you to be involved in this. That’s not why I told you. I just wanted to let you know that I wasn’t judging you for your, well… interest in panties and stuff. Because we all have things like that, and those who don’t must be really, really boring people. And anyway, it felt good to tell someone. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time.”
“I’m glad you did. And if you want me to be involved, I’m willing to give it a shot. Not sure how to do it though.”
“Well, you already cuddle me and take care of me and you’re ever so patient, so it’s not like you have to change a lot. It’s just that I don’t want to make any decisions when I’m like that. And I think I’d like lots and lots of attention because I missed that when I did this by myself,” Pearl said.
“And maybe you could put me into diapers if I have an accident or something?” she added shyly. “I think you’d be a great at this. But I don’t expect you to. Really I don’t. Just if you want to and feel comfortable with it, or else I won’t like it either and it’ll just be awkward and spoil everything and that’s not good.”
“We’ll see how it goes. So, how will I know when you’re in that kind mood? After all, you don’t want me fussing over you constantly.”
“Oh, you’ll know.”
Chapter 4
Two days had passed since Pearl’s revelation, and I’d had time to come to terms with what she’d told me. The morning after, I’d found one of Pearl’s bags in the bathroom. Opening it, it proved to be filled with pull-ups, diapers, wipes and everything needed for changing. There were even a few toys and a box of crayons. I suddenly remembered she’d kept a stuffed animal, a floppy-eared puppy whose name was apparently ‘Spoink’, in her bed since day one. Not unusual for a teenage girl I suspected, although it did take on a slightly different meaning now. When I went down for breakfast, I didn’t mention the bag to her, and she didn’t bring it up either.
I knew I’d be okay treating Pearl like the little girl she wanted to be. When you’re in love, a part of that is obviously lust, but an even larger part is the desire to care for someone, to protect them and make them happy. Taking care of Pearl during her little-girl moments would not be a problem for me. I was okay with the diapers and wetting too. The thought of Pearl cuddled up in a diaper and sucking her thumb didn’t seem ridiculous or silly to me. It seemed cute and lovable, and something I was beginning to look forward to. That she felt relaxed and safe enough around me to actually surrender control over basic bodily functions and wet her diaper, made me feel strangely happy. But more than anything, I felt proud that Pearl had chosen to share her deepest secrets with me, and that she trusted me to be a part of them. Even though she had behaved like nothing had happened since she told me about her interest in being a little girl, I was sure it would bring us closer together when the time came. I definitely wanted that.
The only thing I was uncertain of was the messing. While I could understand that, for Pearl, the complete release of control was enjoyable and thrilling, maybe even essential to her experience, cleaning up wasn’t necessarily going to give me a warm, fuzzy feeling. Yet suffering a few moments of unpleasant odour seemed like a small price to pay in order to fulfil the deepest, secret desires of a loved one. Although I was unsure how I’d cope, I knew I wanted to try.
The day did not start well for Pearl. Actually, I suppose it did, because she stuffed herself with coco-pops at breakfast, but soon after that, Heather called on her mobile phone. I thought about leaving the room to afford her some privacy, but I could barely decipher Pearl’s hyper teen-speak when she was in friend-mode anyway, so I decided not to bother. The conversation seemed to start off pleasantly enough, but after a while I noticed Pearl looking unusually tense and grim, so I started to pay attention. From the way the conversation was going and Pearl’s icy tone, I surmised that her queen-bee position was being usurped, and that Heather-the-party girl was the new pretender to the throne. The whole thing ended with a sugary goodbye, followed by Pearl slamming her phone down on the kitchen table muttering a barely discernible ‘bitch’. Slamming the phone down is a lot less fun in these mobile phone times, I though.
“Want to talk about it?” I asked.
“No. There’s no point. But she’s SO going to pay for this. I hope that wannabe-surfer bitch gets eaten by a shark.” She grabbed her phone again and marched out of the kitchen. “I’ll be in my room. I have to make some calls.”
Oh well, I thought. If Pearl wanted to sulk, I’d give her some space. I might as well get something sensible done. I’d been faffing around a lot lately, what with Pearl around. I’d talk to her later when she’d calmed down a bit.
I knocked on Pearl’s door a couple of hours later, and, to my relief, her voice sounded almost cheerful when she hollered ‘come in’. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed, reading a comic book. I suppose the cute manga cartoon had cheered her up. She was wearing nothing but a white top, ankle socks and a pair of tiny, tight shorts – the kind you can only get away with at a certain age. Stooped down over her comic, her hair covered her face, and it caught the sun spilling in through the window, giving it a golden glow. My heart skipped a beat. She looked lovely. Her room, however, did not.
I should have realized that teenagers are not the tidiest bunch, but I doubt I could have prepared for the state of Pearl’s room. From the amount of clothing lying on the floor or haphazardly thrown over chairs, tables and the bed, I was surprised she’d only arrived with the three suitcases and the bags. A pile of laundry was dumped by the door, her intention of bringing it down to the laundry room long since forgotten. Pearl would always tidy up and help out around the house, but it appeared that this diligence did not apply to her own room. I sighed. I suppose it was up to her. Circling the dirty laundry and almost toppling a wobbly stack of books and comics, I stepped into Pearl’s domain.
“How are you feeling?” I asked tentatively.
“I’m hungry,” Pearl stated with a slight pout.
“Oh, right.” Pearl seemed calm enough to me, and if she didn’t want to bring up her conversation with Heather, then it wasn’t really my place to do so either. “Why don’t you come down then? We’ll make some lunch.”
“Okay. Soon,” she said, stooping down to her comic again.
Summarily dismissed for her teenage territory, I retreated down to the kitchen to prepare lunch. I decided on chicken pesto sandwiches. While I wasn’t a great cook, my friends seemed to enjoy these and I hoped Pearl would too.
After a while, Pearl came trotting down. Surprisingly, she didn’t offer to help me with lunch, electing instead to hang over the counter, flipping through the comic she’d brought down with her. She seemed to only be looking at the pictures. I suppose she knew the story already.
While I was preparing the food, I must admit I did sneak a few peeks at Pearl’s ass. It looked splendid in those shorts. As I was finishing up, my eyes wandered over to her again, but this time I was surprised by what seemed to be a dark patch between her thighs. Her crotch seemed distinctly damp. I considered if this might be the first appearance of little-girl Pearl, but I wasn’t quite sure. She’d admitted that she sometimes wet herself by accident, and if that was the case now, I didn’t want to embarrass her by pointing it out. If this was an accident I’d let Pearl to quietly excuse herself and change.
Satisfied with my sandwiches, I placed a vase on the table, a lovely bouquet of summer flowers that Pearl had picked yesterday. Just the thing to brighten up our meal. I looked over at Pearl again.
The damp patch between her legs had grown into a dark crescent covering most of her bum, a slow trickle of pee running down her left leg. A small puddle had appeared on the floor beneath her, and her left foot was firmly planted in the middle of it, tinting her ankle sock a light yellow.
“Pearl, Honey?” I said softly.
“Mhm?”
“Did you have a little accident?”
Pearl turned towards me and her hand darted to her crotch. She peered down between her legs, then up at me.
“No,” she claimed insistently, her face a perfect image of wide-eyed innocence.
“Really? Because I kind of think you did.”
Pearl shook her head vigorously, long blonde hair obscuring her face. “No, I didn’t silly!”
“Uum… Pearl?” I nodded towards the fresh trickle appearing from her shorts leg, lazily making its way down the inside of her thigh. It’s hard to claim to be dry while you’re standing in a puddle and actually peeing. She looked down again. Then back up.
“Oops,” she grinned impishly. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry Honey. It’s just an accident. Let’s get you cleaned up.” I took Pearl by the hand and noticed it was damp. “Come on, little gem.”
I moved towards the bathroom, a wet little Pearl tagging along behind me. I was enjoying this already. Little Pearl was cute, and she still had her sassy nature. I guessed little-girl Pearl would be a handful.
“Maybe we should try these diapers, Honey?” I suggested once we stood in the bathroom. “You know, just in case you have another accident?”
“NO! I don’t want to,” Pearl protested with force. “I’m NOT a baby and I DON’T need diapers! It was just an accident and it won’t happen again ever, ever. I promise. Diapers are stupid!” She crossed her arms defiantly, her lower lip stuck out to a pout.
I was a bit surprised by this. After all, Pearl had admitted wanting to wear diapers, and I thought she would be pleased. She definitely didn’t seem pleased though.
“Are you sure, Honey? Because it’s not nice being wet, you know. I think you should, just in case you’re unlucky again.”
“I’m NOT wearing diapers ’cause I’m a big girl now and I wear panties and I don’t need diapers anymore and you’re just a big meanie!”
“Alright. No diapers. How about these pull-ups then?” I tried. “They’re just like your big-girl panties, only…” Pearl cut me off.
“Meanie, meanie, meanie, meanie!” Pearl stamped her foot.
“Alright, little gem,” I sighed. “I know you’re a big girl now. Just wait here and I’ll get some panties and clean clothes from your room.”
“Okay,” she beamed triumphantly.
Sifting through Pearl’s disaster area I picked out a summer dress, white, with small, embroidered flowers on. Among her underwear I found quite a few panties with cartoon figures, little animals or flowers on them. I decided a white pair with pink trimmings would be perfect.
Arriving back in the bathroom, I’d half expected Pearl to have stripped down, maybe even showered. She hadn’t. She just stood where I’d left her, although now she seemed engrossed in her effort to stick our two toothbrushes together by the bristle. Of course, I thought. Little girls don’t clean themselves up if they pee their pants. They need help.
I managed to peel off Pearl’s ankle socks despite her distracted passivity, but pulling her wet shorts down proved harder. I tugged the soaked shorts down to mid-thigh, revealing equally soggy panties, but, since they wouldn’t stick together, one of the toothbrushes kept dropping to the floor and Pearl would immediately stoop down to retrieve it, making undressing her rather difficult.
When I finally managed, I discovered that her pubic region was completely hairless and smooth. ‘Ouch,’ I thought. ‘Bet that wax was painful’. And yet, despite having admired her adult body only minutes earlier, I found myself affected by the nakedness of the woman I loved in an unexpected way. My reaction to her nudity was not arousal, but it wasn’t indifference either. I was perfectly aware of her beautiful shape, but sexual feelings felt strangely out of context. I still wanted her, just not now, like this. Rather, I had strong feelings of tenderness and love – the desire to hug rather than make love. She needed me, and I was there for her.
Pearl too, seemed unfazed by the fact that she was naked in front of me. She’d given up her toothbrush project, and now appeared equally engrossed in balancing a shampoo bottle on its rounded lid.
“Right, Pearl. Hop in the shower, and we’ll get you nice and clean again.”
“Okay.”
She stepped into the shower clutching the shampoo bottle, crouching down to continue her balancing game on the shower floor tiles while I picked down the shower head. I decided against soap. I suspected this would not be the last clean-up today, and I didn’t want to be too hard on her skin.
Once I’d showered and dried her, I slipped the summer dress over her head and pulled her panties up beneath it. She looked nice and clean. ‘Fresh as morning dew,’ I thought.
“So then,” I said. “My little water-gem is all nice and clean. Time for lunch.”
Pearl nodded. I picked up the shampoo bottle which she summarily dropped in the sink, replaced it and followed Pearl back out to the kitchen.
“Why don’t you sit here while I mop this up?” I said, sitting Pearl down at the table. I gave her the comic book to keep her occupied while I wiped up the remains of her accident from the floor.
When I was done I served my sandwiches. ‘Damn, these are good,’ I thought, taking a huge bite. I was hungry. Glancing over at Pearl though, I noticed she hadn’t touched hers.
“What’s the matter, Honey?” I asked.
“I don’t want it.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not hungry,” Pearl said, pushing the plate away.
“Well, I think you should try some. It’s really good, and you might like it. You never know ’till you try.”
“But it’s got icky green goo all over it,” Pearl complained, pointing to the pesto. “I don’t like it and I want Nutella.”
Nutella? I didn’t have any Nutella. I suppose few grown-ups have chocolate spread in their fridge. I started to realize I wasn’t too well prepared for the arrival of little Pearl.
“How about peanut butter and jelly? I think I have that,” I ventured.
“Okay,” she pouted. “But I wanted Nutella.”
So I made her a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, carefully removing the crusts and cutting them into neat triangles. I placed them in front of Pearl.
“So, what do you want to do today then, Pearl?”
I half listened to her chatting enthusiastically on about Spoink and how she was going to make him a castle, but in my mind I was making up a shopping list. I was hardly prepared for having a little girl in the house, and there were some things I needed if I wanted to offer Pearl the experience of a carefree childhood.
Once Pearl had finished her sandwiches, she was off, scampering upstairs without the slightest thought of clearing the table.
“Where are you going, Honey?” I shouted after her.
“I’m getting some paper. I’m going to draw a picture!”
That’s a good idea, I thought. Something to keep her busy while I go to the shops. I considered taking her with me, but somehow I didn’t think a teenager would have the confidence to act out these fantasies in public.
Pearl returned seconds later, carrying paper and her box of crayons. She plonked herself down on the kitchen floor and dumped the crayons all around herself.
“It’s going to be my best drawing EVER,” she claimed, and within seconds she was completely engrossed. I noticed that she stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth while she drew. I’d only seen that in Charlie Brown cartoons before. Despite the absurdly bright and cheerful colours, her drawing was up to her usual grown-up standards. Pearl was quite good at it, actually.
“I’m just going to pop out to the shops, Pearl. Will you be okay?”
“Mhm,” she muttered distractedly.
Chapter 5
What do little girls need? What do they want to eat? I suppose these things are obvious to a parent, but they provided a real challenge for me. After wandering aimlessly about the shop for a while, I had the bright idea to follow a family around and see what they bought. The kid looked about six I suppose, which seemed to fit Pearl and her needs well enough. I ended up with pancake mix, tacos, pizza, candy and apple juice among other things. Not the best diet in the world, but I wanted to make Pearl happy. And Nutella of course. I couldn’t risk showing up without that. They took their time shopping though, and in the end I felt like a creepy stalker for following them so I moved to the check-out.
I felt weird buying all that stuff. It’s not really the kind of food I normally keep, and I thought maybe the girl at the check-out would start to wonder. After all, I come here all the time. She didn’t though. She went through the motions like a drone, complete with the tired smile and ‘have a nice day’ at the end. Why is it that you can buy anything with total confidence when you feel you have a legitimate reason, but feel transparent and nervous buying the exact same thing when you don’t? Even if it’s just kid’s food. Or so I mused while loading my shopping bags. And then I bumped into my colleague.
Unfortunately, Dean is a bit of a prat. We all know someone like Dean I suppose. Always smug, always excessively friendly and always ready and waiting with a snide remark to put you off balance. Not the kind of person I wanted to meet right now.
“So, not the health-food kind of guy then,” he grinned, eyeing my groceries. “Prefer Brie to Nutella myself, but hey, maybe I’m getting old.” Dean was eight years younger than me.
“Umm…” I muttered. I couldn’t come up with an explanation for my shopping, and, for some reason, I felt I needed one. Something about Dean and his way of talking to you made you feel obliged to explain yourself. Maybe that’s why I didn’t like him. I was glad he hadn’t spotted the Cinderella movie I’d got for Pearl.
“Anyway, good to see you John.” Dean slapped me on the back. “You started holidays yet, or are you just slacking off?”
“It’s Saturday, Dean. But yeah, I’ve started holidays.”
“Well good for you. No time for holidays myself. Got to hold the fort while you lucky bastards goof off.”
Dean never went on holiday when the rest of us did, preferring to postpone it until work picked up after summer. Don’t know how he got away with it, but Dean always got away with everything.
While walking to our cars, Dean launched into a monologue about work stuff. I might have been vaguely interested had I not been on holiday. And anyway, there was something nagging me – something in the back of my mind. Did I forget to buy something?
“So, this is my new car,” Dean gestured grandly, indicating a brand new, black Porsche convertible. “Got it just the other week.”
With this, Dean insisted on a detailed run-through of the technical specs of his car. As he droned on, my thoughts drifted. What the hell was nagging me?
Sensing my disinterest, Dean wrapped up his speech.
“So, still driving that old Mercedes?” he asked smugly, a hand tracing the sleek lines of his own car.
“Actually, it’s not…”
“Those Mercedes are great though. They go for ages, those engines. Good for you, right? Anyway, see you around John. And have a nice holiday. Don’t forget your work-out though. You know, with that diet you’ve got going there, a little exercise will do you good. Let’s play squash some day.”
“Sure Dean,” I sighed. And then he was off, gunning the engine and flashing me his perfect white teeth as he sped off.
I made my way back to my Volkswagen. ‘It might not be a Porsche, but it’s quite adequate for my needs, thank you very much,’ I thought to myself. ‘I’m not all that interested in cars anyway, so why would I want to spend all that cash? And why am I explaining myself to me,’ I thought grimly. Dean did that to you. What a prat! He’d taken up quite enough of my day. Time to get back to Pearl.
PEARL! Damn! Now I knew what had been bugging me all along. How old was little-Pearl? Four, maybe five? And I’d just left her at home, as if she was her regular teen self. And how long had I been gone? I glanced at my watch. An HOUR! Who the hell leaves a five-year-old all alone that long? I dumped the groceries in the back of my car and sped back home as fast as I could. I was lucky I didn’t get a ticket.
When I got back I’d half expected to find Pearl bawling, but she wasn’t. It was more like quiet little sobs, large tears trickling down her cheeks. She’d been crying for some time.
“Where WERE you? I was all alone,” she sniffled miserably.
“I went to the shops. I told you, Honey. Didn’t you hear?”
“No you didn’t,” Pearl said accusingly. “You didn’t say anything. You just vanished and you were gone for ever and ever.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry little gem. I thought you knew.” I hugged her pitiful, small frame tightly, and she rested her head against my chest. I felt her body jerk sharply. Then again. She had hiccups from crying. “I know I shouldn’t have left you like that. It was very thoughtless of me, and I won’t do it again. I promise.”
Pearl nodded as if to convince herself to trust me again.
“Are you alright?” I asked with concern. She seemed genuinely helpless. “Did anything bad happen, Honey?”
Pearl nodded, her face still buried in my chest. My shirt was damp from her tears, but her crying seemed to have stopped now. Maybe she didn’t have any tears left, I thought guiltily.
“What, Honey? Did you hurt yourself?”
Pearl shook her head, still not looking up at me. That’s when I noticed the fabric of her dress at the small of her back. It was wet beneath my hand.
“Oh, I see. Let’s have a look then, little gem,” I said, gently pushing Pearl away from me. She was staring at the floor, covering her face with her hair, hands hanging limply by her side. I saw the hem of her pretty little summer dress was wet. I spun her gently around by the shoulders and found it soaked half-way up her back. The not-so-white fabric clung to her bum and I peeled it loose, lifting the hem to reveal equally drenched panties.
“Poor little Pearl. You’re completely soaked, aren’t you?”
Pear sniffled. “I think I did a pee-pee in my pants, but it just happened all by itself and I didn’t notice so it went all over the floor where I was sitting and now my drawing is all ruined, but it’s not really my fault ’cause I promise, promise, promise I didn’t know I had to go and now you’ll be angry with me. But I made the picture for you and it was really nice.”
“Oh, Pearl. Why would I be mad? I know these things can happen to little girls, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing at all. I should have been here, so it’s my fault really.”
“You’re not mad? Even though I said I wanted panties and went pee-pee in them anyway?” Pearl gazed up at me with tearstained, questioning eyes.
“Of course not, little gem. How could I be mad at my sweet little Pearl?”
I hugged her tightly again, and she sniffled loudly.
“I’m cold,” Pearl shivered.
“Alright then, let’s get you something dry to wear sweetie,” I said, taking her by the hand and leading her towards the bathroom. As we passed the sizable puddle on the floor I noticed that Pearl’s drawing was indeed well and truly ruined. I’d have to do something about those wet footprints too. Seemed Pearl had run from room to room, looking for me.
“I made a milkshake though,” Pearl said. “It was yummy!”
Glancing over, I surveyed the damage. The door to the freezer was half-open, and there was melted ice-cream and chocolate syrup all over the place, even splashed on the window. I think she forgot to put the lid on the blender.
“You shouldn’t really do that alone, Honey. It might be dangerous.”
“It was chocolate,” Pearl beamed. “It was the BEST, but you can’t have any ’cause I wanted to save you some but then I drank it all and there wasn’t much anyway.”
“I bet. Most of it is on the wall.”
“Sorry,” Pearl said, but she didn’t seem sorry at all. “I can make some more.”
“Maybe later.”
I guided her into the bathroom, peeled off her wet dress and panties, and placed her in the shower for the second time today. I was glad to see she’d cheered up a bit, but I still felt guilty for leaving her for such a long time. It was like I’d betrayed her trust. Getting used to thinking about Pearl as a dependent little girl was not as easy as I’d thought. Maybe because she seemed so capable and independent when she was her grown self.
“I want the pull-ups now,” she said while I was drying her off. “I don’t need them, but I want them anyway and I don’t think they’re silly anymore.”
“Okay little water gem. I think that’s a good idea. I know you don’t need them, but it’s nice to feel safe and dry anyway, right?”
Pearl nodded.
I grabbed a pull-up from her bag and slipped it up her legs. The fit was nice and snug, so I suppose Pearl was experienced at this kind of shopping. Next, I dressed her in a pair of soft, pink sweat shorts and a white slip with little laces and a big, pink heart on. When I was finished, Pearl looked down and patted her crotch.
“No-one can see it,” she said happily.
That wasn’t quite true, since the shorts were low-cut and the pull-up was peeking up above the waist. Still, Pearl’s slip did cover it. At least until it rode up.
“That’s right Honey. It’ll be our little secret.”
“Goody. It feels nice,” she said, patting her bum. “I like them now. What did you get me at the shop?”
“I got a movie. Cinderella. I suppose you’ve seen it before, but I…”
“Yay!”
Then she ran off, and I went back to the kitchen to clear the mess.
Chapter 6
After taking care of Pearl’s puddle and the milkshake disaster area, I turned my attention to footprints. Luckily, Pearl had dainty little feet. Work like this would normally have left me in a bad mood, but I found myself whistling quite cheerfully. Doing chores feels better when you’re doing it for someone else, I suppose.
While I was getting the last of the footprints, Pearl approached me.
“I’m sorry I made wee-wees on the floor,” she said solemnly. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know honey.”
“I didn’t even know I made a tinkle. My panties got all cold and icky so I think maybe I went in my pants a little by accident, but after a bit the cold went away and I felt warm again and that happened some more times, but I think I only felt warm ’cause I made tinkle all over again but I don’t really know, and then I got very cold and I saw I’d gone pee-pee all over the floor and ruined my nice picture.”
“It’s okay little gem, but I’m glad you agreed to wear some protection. Just for now.”
“I know,” she said beaming, patting her crotch. “Cause sometimes I have to go and it comes really fast and I can’t help it and do it in my pants.”
“Yes, you do.”
“And sometimes I just tinkle a bit without knowing and get my panties wet.”
“You really enjoy saying that, don’t you Pearl?” I grinned. “You like saying the words.”
“Maybe,” she blushed. “I like talking to you about it. It makes me giddy and I tingle all over and it feels really nice. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay honey. If it feels nice to be tingly then you shouldn’t be ashamed of it, ’cause your body doesn’t lie and it knows what you like even better than you do.”
“Goody!”
“And if you wet in your pull-up it’s okay. Just tell me and I’ll make it all better.”
“But I don’t always know it when I do a pee,” Pearl protested.
“So I’ll check you every now and then, alright?”
“Okay,” she chirped.
Having taken care of the house I gave Pearl a glass of apple juice and settled down to read the paper. Normally I’d have read it by now, but things were busier with little Pearl around. While reading I noticed Pearl’s mobile phone beep as text messages arrived, but Pearl herself seemed disinterested. Instead she was completely engrossed in some game she was playing. A game that seemed to consist of racing around the house with Spoink, squealing from time to time. After a while I decided to check on Pearl before making dinner.
“Are you wet honey?” I asked.
“Nope. Maybe. I don’t know,” Pearl said, peering down at her crotch. She looked so cute with the top of her pull-ups peeking up above those pink shorts.
“Hang on. I’ll check.”
She stood passive while I slipped my hand down the back of her pull-ups to see if she’d wet herself.
“Just a little damp. You’ll be fine.”
I made spaghetti for dinner, and Pearl’s ‘yummy!’ told me I made a good choice. While eating, she chatted away in her usual little-girl manner, and I told her about my run-in with Dean at the store which seemed to bore Pearl in her current state of mind.
At one point I heard a faint hissing noise followed shortly by a gasp from Pearl as her hand darted to her crotch. She squirmed and blushed deeply, pressing her slender thighs tightly together. I realized Pearl had less and less control her over bodily functions now, and pull-ups appeared to be necessary at this point. Although she’d told me she’d done this before, I was slightly worried that she’d have a hard time regaining control. She had seemed confident about this game though. I hoped she knew what she was doing.
For the rest of dinner, I couldn’t help but notice how Pearl started fidgeting and rocking gently back and forth on her chair, sometimes even sneaking her hand back down between her legs and rocking her hips against it. She didn’t seem very conscious about doing this. At first I thought she was uncomfortable in her wet pull-ups, but then I realized she must be enjoying the warm feeling of the wet padding between her legs. As we cleared the table I could see her pull-ups were puffy beneath the shorts, and Pearl definitely needed a new one.
“Come on Pearlie, let’s get you changed.”
“Aw, do we have to?” she sulked, hand cupping her crotch. “I just did a little wee-wee and I’m not cold or anything. It feels kind of nice and warm.”
“Yes we do. Now come on Pearl, off we go.”
“Okay then,” she grumbled, following me to the bathroom.
She lay down dutifully and I ripped the sides of her wet pull-ups and slid them out from under her. As I was digging out the wipes to clean her, another tiny trickle of pee escaped her, making its way down between her bum-cheeks and onto the towel beneath. I don’t think Pearl even realized. As I wiped her clean she played with her toothbrush again, chomping down on the bristle before gently feeling it with her lips. She really seemed like an inquisitive little girl.
All cleaned up and in a fresh, dry pull-up, Pearl followed me back into the living room.
“Tell you what,” I said. “Why don’t I make us some pop-corn and we’ll watch the movie I got you?”
“Yay!”
“But after that it’s bedtime. Alright?”
“Okay. Can I have soda too?”
“Sure honey.”
“You’re the BEST!” She hugged me tight and I kissed the top of her head.
After placing the pop-corn and soda on the living room table I settled on the couch and started the film. I felt proud and happy as a warm little Pearl snuggled safely down in my lap. Soon she was gulping down the soda and gobbling pop-corn as she stared intently at the screen. As Cinderella made her way closer to the prince’s heart I found myself enjoying the sensation of having Pearl so close to me. I breathed deeply her clean, soapy smell and marvelled at her smooth skin and delicate features. Pearl was so cute it made my heart ache. Her hair tickled my nose so I stroked her head, and she sighed contently and leaned back against me.
I was surprised by the concentration she could muster over a film she must have seen a dozen times before. When the evil step-mother made an appearance on the screen, Pearl was so engrossed that she jumped and I felt a small surge of warmth against my thigh as her excited little body released control over her bladder yet again. Oblivious little Pearl just wriggled a bit to get more comfortable, curling up to me seeking safety.
As the film went on, Pearl settled into a gentle, rhythmic rocking against my thigh, just like she had during dinner. She obviously enjoyed the sensation of wet pull-ups. A sudden surge of warmth told me she was wetting again, and when Pearl realized that she tensed and gave a funny little snort as she tried to hold it. Then she just gave in and snuggled back up against me as she emptied the rest of her helpless little bladder into the pull-ups. Too much soda I suppose.
“I think I maybe…” Pearl muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Did you go tinkle in your pull-ups honey?”
“I think maybe I went a little bit.”
“That’s alright. We’ll just change you later. Before bedtime. No need to spoil the film.”
“Thanks,” she said, resuming her rhythmic movements against my thigh.
As the film drew towards the end Pearl had started moving against me more eagerly, her breath more heavy as her excitement seemed to rise. Her tummy gurgled, and a while a wet, bubbly fart emerged as well.
“My, you have a rumbly tummy,” I said stroking her flat belly beneath the lacy white slip.
“Mhm.”
Pearl was starting to really squirm now, and I watched as her cheeks grew more hectic and flushed. She was rubbing against my thigh in earnest, biting her lower lip and grunting softly. Every once in a while she’d whisper very softly to herself – things like: ‘Oh no, I wet my pants!’ and ‘I’m going pee-pee in my pants and I can’t stop.’ – repeating it over and over like some excited teen-baby mantra. Several more farts bubbled up from her pull-up as she was grinding her crotch against me, grunting softly and drawing sharp breaths through her nose.
On the TV screen the credits were rolling, but none of us were watching anymore. I stared in fascination as Pearl brought herself closer and closer to climax, both hands now pressed against her shorts and the warm pull-up beneath.
Pearl’s body stiffened then spasmed in my lap as she brought herself off, pushing her hot, wet pull-ups hard against her sex. Her face was deeply flushed and her lips swollen as she huffed and whimpered, quivering with pleasure. I knew she’d been chasing that feeling most of the day, and I watched her with love as she finally caught up with it. She looked beautiful, vulnerable and wonderful as she came.
Immediately a loud, much more urgent sounding fart erupted and Pearl gasped and sprang from my lap like a coil spring. Her orgasm must have left her a bit weak, because she seemed decidedly wobbly on her feet.
“Oh no! I can’t… I… Ungh…” Pearl grunted helplessly. Just as she reached behind to grab her own butt I heard a muffled crackle and watched as the back of Pearl’s little pink shorts started to slowly bulge. I realized the little girl was helplessly pooping her pants. Bow-legged and red-faced, Pearl stuck her butt out and grunted as she pushed poop into the seat of her pull-ups. Inevitably she wet too, a stream of pee hissing into the poor, over-used pull-ups. I was amazed they held up.
“Are you okay Pearl?” I asked. It was obvious what was going on, but I also knew she wanted to tell me herself.
“I… um… I think I… um… went poo-poo in my pants,” she mumbled miserably, her hand fumbling with the bulge in the straining seat of her little pink shorts.
“Did you now.”
“I guess so. I was just… you know… feeling all tingly like I said before, and then I got the best tingly feeling EVER and suddenly the poop just started coming and I couldn’t stop it and I went in my pants. I’m sorry?”
“Well, you really should know better Pearl,” I sighed. “I mean – messing yourself like that? You’re not THAT little any more. But if you got the best tingly feeling ever, I suppose you think it’s worth it?”
“Oh yes! I wanted to stop it, but it was too late and if feeling like that makes me go in my pants I don’t mind ’cause it felt AWESOME!”
“I bet. But you’re not the one who has to clean you up, are you? So, come along now and well get you into a proper diaper for the night.”
“A diaper? Do we have to?” Pearl protested weakly. I suppose the bulge in the seat of her pants told her this wasn’t a fight she could win. She probably didn’t even want to. “I already went number two so I don’t have to anymore and I like the pull-ups and I don’t mind them so I think you should let me use them and maybe I’ll be dry anyway and not use them at all.”
“Listen. If you’re a good girl and wear the diapers I’ll let you sleep in my bed tonight, okay? And if you’re dry in the morning we’ll go back to the pull-ups again and see how that goes. But for now we’re sticking with proper diapers.”
“Alright. So it’s just for tonight then ’cause I’ll be dry tomorrow morning just you wait and see,” Pearl stated confidently.
“Sure you will,” I sighed.
I may have dreaded the cleanup, but it wasn’t as bad as all that. It wasn’t a huge load. Maybe I was still on a buzz from watching Pearl, but I didn’t mind it. I kept thinking to myself how amazing it was that she’d trusted me with this. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as close to anyone as I did to Pearl as I cleaned up her passive body. She was a messy girl and she needed me. I suppose I needed her too.
After I’d showered and dried her, I put Pearl in a pair of diapers. I had to try once or twice before I got the tapes right, but in the end it fit snugly. The diapers looked really thick and bulky after the pull-ups, and Pearl’s content face told me this was where we had been heading all day.
Pearl held her arms up and I slipped a pink nightie on her, adorned with a snoring Snoopy on the front. Pearl kept yawning and seemed really sleepy and relaxed, and I was surprised she actually seemed ready for bed at such an early hour. Few teenagers go to bed at eight.
She kept twirling in front of the mirror to admire her diapered bottom while brushing her teeth.
“I look silly,” she giggled. “But kind of cute too.” She wiggled her bum at the mirror.
Laughing, I patted her bulky behind and sent her waddling off to bed. She looked adorable with those thick, white diapers sticking out beneath her nightie. I tucked her in and kissed her goodnight, but she was already half asleep. As I turned off the lights I looked back at her, and she was peacefully sucking her thumb. She must have drifted off to sleep within minutes. It had been an eventful day for little Pearl. She didn’t even ask for a story.
Chapter 7
I woke up fairly early, my curtains not thick enough to stop sunlight from bathing the bedroom in a bright golden glow. I yawned and stretched contently as I slowly went through yesterday’s events in my mind. Being around little Pearl was certainly eventful.
I could smell the warm, sleepy scent of Pearl beside me in bed. I was hesitant to glance over at her, as if I was afraid she would have disappeared overnight. It had been years since I’d had a cute girl in my bed. This was different though, I reminded myself. This was little Pearl, not the hot girl next door I had a crush on. It was hard to separate at times.
Raising myself up on an elbow I looked down at my sleeping little girl. She looked so peaceful lying there, oblivious and lost in deep dreams. She was on her back, arms above her head, her pretty face partly obscured by an unruly mass of golden hair. Her breathing was slow and quiet, the sheets barely moving in time with her breath. Every once in a while she made the cutest little whimpery sound. She looked so sweet I felt almost dizzy.
I wanted to slide my hand beneath the sheets, over her flat belly, and feel the tingle of warm, smooth skin against my hand. Maybe move it down, past the indentation of her cute little bellybutton… towards… ‘Just to check her diaper’ I said to myself. ‘She’s probably wet and I wouldn’t want her to be uncomfortable’.
I jumped guiltily as Pearl let out a soft, humming sigh and rolled over on her side. The sheets followed her movement and exposed her slim, smooth back to me. The pink nightie had ridden up during the night and left her diaper visible. The saturated padding was puffy and darkened all the way up the back, and the sheets showed a tiny wet spot where the diaper had no longer been able to cope. Pearl must have wet heavily in her sleep. Her movements had released a sudden, heady scent of sleeping girl tinged with pee, and I surprised myself by breathing it deeply, the intimacy of it making me giddy. Ever so gently I placed my palm on the curve of her round backside, feeling the warm, wet softness of her full diaper.
‘Enough of this’, I thought to myself. ‘This girl trusts you, and you’re being creepy’. Quickly I covered her with my own sheets and got up.
I hit the showers and got dressed quietly so as not to wake Pearl. With a pang of regret I gave the outline of Pearl’s slim frame and puffy butt beneath the sheets a final glance, and I left her to dream for a little longer. I went downstairs to the kitchen and made myself breakfast before settling down with a cup of coffee and the morning paper. It was hard to concentrate. My head was swirling with thoughts of Pearl as I waited for her to wake up. Her peaceful beauty… Her golden hair shining in the morning sun… The rounded curves of her firm, young body… Those long, skinny legs…
I didn’t have to wait long. Soon I heard bare feet on the floor as Pearl shuffled groggily into the kitchen. She rubbed sleepy eyes with her fists and yawned. Her blonde hair was still in wild disarray and she pulled at it distractedly as she waddled towards me. The puffy diaper exaggerated the movement of her hips as it shifted beneath the pink cotton of her nightie with every step. The nightie wasn’t really long enough to cover her. With a guilty look she pulled it down to conceal the front of her soggy diaper, yet all she managed was to make it ride up in the back and expose more of the rounded curve of her wet, diapered butt.
“Good morning little Gem. Did you sleep well?”
“Yup,” Pearl muttered sullenly, eyes half closed. I guess she wasn’t as much of a morning person as I was.
“Did you manage to stay dry like you said you would?”
Pearl tugged harder on her nightie, pulling it down between her thighs to hide the wetness of her diapered crotch.
“I peed a little,” she yawned.
“Let’s see then.”
Blushing Pearl reluctantly lifted the hem of her pink nightie to reveal a puffy, yellowed diaper crotch, as saturated as the back.
“Looks like you had more than just a little accident in your sleep Pearl.”
“Maybe I did, but that’s just because I had a scary dream and the evil stepmother was chasing me and so I wet myself. It’s all because of the film so it’s not my fault.”
“Is that so? Because it looks like you had a lot of scary dreams Pearl. You’re very wet.”
Pearl reached back to feel the wet behind of her diaper and blushed again.
“Let’s get you changed and you can have some breakfast, okay,” I sighed, taking her by the hand and leading her to the bathroom.
As I gently cleaned her with a warm wash cloth Pearl just lay there relaxed with closed eyes, almost as if she was sleeping again. She definitely took some time to wake up to her normal, bubbly self. Ignoring her protests I brushed her tangled hair and then led her back to the kitchen for breakfast. I couldn’t help but glance at the gentle white curve of the diaper as it rounded down to tuck in between her skinny thighs. A white and powder blue training bra with little bunnies on covered her smallish breasts. I thought she looked very cute.
Pearl seemed to wake up after two bowls of coco-pops and some apple juice, the morning sluggishness disappearing from her movements. As I cleared the dishes she actually helped me for a second, before she got distracted by some colourful plastic cups and forgot all about it.
“Now then, let’s brush your teeth and you’ll be all ready for a new day,” I said, taking her soft little hand.
“I can do that myself, silly,” Pearl giggled, deftly slipping her hand from mine.
“That’s great Pearl. Good for you,” I said to her back as she ran clumsily off towards the bathroom, white diapered bottom wiggling in the morning sun.
A few minutes later Pearl returned.
“All done,” she stated triumphantly, flashing me a white smile.
“Well done Pearl. You’re quite the big girl, aren’t you?”
“Yup,” she stated proudly. My eyes drifted down to the pristine whiteness of her diaper.
“Since you’re such a big girl you really should be able to tell me when you have to use the bathroom though,” I suggested.
Pearl enjoyed putting her lack of control into words, and her constant potty accidents seemed to thrill her endlessly. Since lack of control seemed central to Pearl’s fantasy I was hoping my demands would heighten the feeling, enhancing the experience of being a dependent little girl. I was new to this whole little girl thing, but I was trying to learn as best I could. I found my mind working overtime, trying to sort my own feelings as well as anticipate Pearl’s wants.
“But I can’t,” Pearl pouted. “There’s no time.”
“Big girls have time, Pearl. They know when they have to go so they don’t pee or do poo-poos in their panties.”
“But… But…, when I know I have to go it’s already starting and I just pee even though I try to stop and when I know I’m peeing it just makes me go even more and it’s no use ’cause it just comes out.”
“Alright,” I sighed. “But I still think you should manage to tell me if you have to go number two. You’re big enough to make it to the bathroom if you have to do a poop.”
“Okay. I can do that,” Pearl nodded, looking slightly sad.
It suddenly struck me that Pearl might still feel insecure about this. After all, it takes a lot of courage and trust to surrender control so completely in front of another person. She might suspect I was disgusted by her messing a diaper. Even though taking care of Pearl had quickly become a precious thing to me, I wouldn’t be surprised if she still looked for signs that it was too much. I didn’t want doubts like that intruding on Pearl’s special time with me.
“It’s not that I mind changing you little Gem,” I reassured her. “But if you want to be a big girl, then you need to practise not messing yourself. You almost made it last night, remember?”
“Yes, I did,” Pearl beamed. “I started to poop myself because of that nice tingle, but then I managed to make it stop even though I wasn’t all finished and I still wanted to do some more.”
“That’s good Pearl. Maybe next time you’ll manage to stop it before you start messing yourself. We’ll keep practicing, and one day you’ll be a big girl and get it all in the potty where it’s supposed to go. Just be a good girl and tell me when, so we can hurry to the bathroom. And remember, little girls usually have to go in the mornings.”
“I’ll be a good girl and tell you when I have to go poo-poo. I won’t do it in my pants, I promise,” Pearl stated with confidence. I wasn’t so sure.
I enjoy slow mornings, even more so with little Pearl in the house. Somehow her presence seemed to brighten the day as she padded barefoot and diapered around the house, distracting herself with whatever she found. After a while she settled cross-legged on the floor, stating she would draw a picture for me. One even nicer than the one she ruined yesterday. I watched her out of the corner of my eye while sipping another cup of morning coffee and trying to finish the paper. Glancing over, I noticed the rounded crotch of her diaper lose it’s pure white colour, growing dark and wet as she sat there obliviously peeing herself while concentrating on the drawing at hand.
A short while later I heard soft little huffs and puffs coming from where Pearl sat. Glancing over at her she was still engrossed in her drawing, but her cheeks were flushed and she had lifted her diapered butt off the floor. A small crescent of wet padding showed on her behind. Suddenly she farted softly and gasped as her hand darted to the seat of her diaper. Her eyes widened and I could hear a faint hissing sound as she wet herself again in surprise. Another soft fart erupted, and a small bulge quickly crackled into the seat of her diaper. Pearl looked shocked and surprised, a quiet ‘Ooops!’ passing her lips as she tried in vain to stop the accident in its tracks. Apparently it was no use because the bulge grew more, and I watched as Pearl relaxed her body and gave up the struggle, resigned to the fact that she was pooping herself.
Pearl had a far-away look in her eyes and she breathed heavy through her nose, making helpless little straining sounds. I watched the seat of her diaper steadily grow as she relieved herself there on the floor. She seemed to be pooping slowly; concentrating intently on what she was doing and the warm, growing bulge in her seat. Urgent little grunts were replaced by long, deep ones as she finished, filling the backside of her diaper with the last of her warm mess. As Pearl’s hand slowly made its way behind to feel the bulging diaper, I tore myself away from the spectacle so she could enjoy her fantasy in private. I had to admire Pearl’s ability to lose herself completely in the experience. Nothing outside her little world seemed to exist for her now. Reality had shrunk to what was happening in her diaper.
A moment later I heard the soft pitter-patter of bare feet as Pearl ran from the room. I wasn’t sure what she was doing, but I decided she’d come and find me when she needed a change. Maybe she wanted to enjoy a warm, full diaper for a little while first.
Suddenly a beep came from Pearl’s mobile phone, jogging my memory like an alarm clock. I had to go out today. The branch office had sent me some original documents that needed going through, and I had to drop by the post office at the shopping centre to pick them up. Thankfully, since I was on holiday I could just pass them on to Dean. At least he’d have something to do with his time.
After half an hour I decided to go looking for Pearl. God knows what she could be up to with her level of energy and enthusiasm. I went from room to room calling for her, but she was nowhere to be found. I suspected she was hiding from me, embarrassed that she had pooped herself. Finally I saw two dainty, bare feet sticking out from under the living room curtains. I strode over and threw them aside. It was no surprise to find Pearl hiding there, looking just like a guilty little girl in dirty diapers. She gave a startled squeal, and I heard a distinct hissing sound from her diaper as she peed herself in shock.
“There you are Pearl! Why are you hiding from me?”
“You scared me and made me pee myself! That’s mean,” she stated defiantly, quickly regaining her pose.
“I’m sorry Pearl. I didn’t mean to startle you, but you can’t just go and hide from me. I need to know where you are. When I can’t find you, I get scared too you know.”
“I know, but you scared me so I made a wee-wee, but that’s not my fault ’cause I couldn’t help it so you can’t be cross with me.”
The odour was unmistakeable.
“I think you did more than just pee, Pearl.”
“No I didn’t,” she claimed, backing towards the wall to hide her backside.
“I think you went number two in your pants, even though you said you wouldn’t. And then you ran away so I wouldn’t find out.”
Pearl shook her head vigorously.
“Turn around and show me then.”
“No!”
“Turn around, Pearl.”
Resigned to her fate, Pearl gave soft sob and turned slowly, showing me the brown bulging behind of her diaper.
“Pearl,” I sighed. “I told you to come and get me when you needed the bathroom. I thought we agreed that you’d at least try to make it this time.”
“I know,” she with a miserably sniffle. “I was drawing and then I started to poop so I tried to stop so I could tell you but then some more came out and then a lot more and it all went in my diaper and I’m sorry but I promise I didn’t want to poop my pants I just couldn’t help it.”
“You’ll just have to try harder next time, won’t you? A big girl like you shouldn’t be going in their pants at all, much less going number two.”
Blushing and bowing her head in shame, Pearl felt the seat of her diaper with her hand.
“I’m sorry I went poo-poo my pants,” she sniffled. “I’m not going to do it again I just had to poop and then I did even though I tried not to ’cause it happened really, really fast and I didn’t know in time so it came out in my diaper.”
“Alright then. You’ll do better next time, I suppose. Are you all done or do you need to go some more?”
“I think so? I’m not sure.”
“Try some more just in case. I want you to be all finished before I change you.”
“Do I have to?” she moaned, clearly embarrassed and blushing deeply.
“Yes, you do. Now be a good girl and make sure you’re all done so we can go and change,” I said sternly.
“Okay.”
Getting down on her knees, Pearl looked up at me with wide, shame filled eyes. I could see she struggled to keep my gaze in her embarrassment, but she held it, looking up at me submissively with tears on her beautiful, sad face. Still, there was a twinkle in her eye that suggested she was secretly thrilled that I made her do this. I hoped so. She huffed and grunted, her face red with strain as she tried poop. After several more grunts there came a long drawn-out one as she succeeded in pushing the last of her poop into the messy seat of her diaper. Then she gave a long shivering sigh and stood up, hanging her head and letting her hair cover her tearstained face.
“I pooped my diaper some more but now I’m all done and it’s the last time I promise,” she whispered, not meeting my eyes.
Chapter 8
While I cleaned her up I broke the news to Pearl.
“I have to go out. There’s something I need to pick up at the post office. And you have to come with me.”
“Nooo! I can’t do that! Don’t make me do that!” Pearl seemed genuinely distressed at the thought.
“You have to come. Remember how it went last time? You made a mess with the milkshake and peed all over the floor, remember?”
“I won’t go! I won’t! It’s too much.” Pearl seemed adamant, and I realized she thought I was going to make her walk around the shopping centre in a diaper.
Maybe I had been too strict with her earlier, since she thought I’d make her do that? Or maybe I was too lenient and she secretly wanted me to discipline her more and make her do embarrassing things? I didn’t know. I could speculate endlessly on how to treat little Pearl, but in the end I had to make the decision myself. If I didn’t do what came natural to me this would quickly become a stilted act, and the pleasure I got from caring for little Pear would be diminished by it. Pearl would sense that, and it would all start to fall apart.
“Relax Pearl,” I said, stroking her hair. “I would never, ever make you embarrass yourself in front of other people, I promise. I really do have to pick something up and I don’t think you should be left alone, that’s all. I’m not going to make you wear diapers in front of others or anything like that. You can wear panties just for this trip, alright?”
“I still can’t go,” she said, biting her lower lip.
“Why not?”
“It’s not that easy. If I wear big girl panties now I might pee all over myself ’cause it takes some time to get back. It’s not like flicking a switch you know.”
I didn’t know. It seemed to me that Pearl was doing something pretty risky. It seemed she was pushing things far if she need time to regain control over such basic bodily functions. Still, who was I to judge? After spending some time with little Pearl I had begun to understand how much she wanted to do this, how much she needed it. She had displayed such a range of intense emotions that I had to recognize that little Pearl was a big part of who Pearl was. I didn’t think she could ever leave this part of her behind and not feel a tremendous loss.
“Alright. Let’s try those pull-ups you have with some clothes and we’ll see. I promise I won’t make you go out until you feel comfortable. We’ll make sure that no-one can see you’re wearing anything but panties, okay?”
“Okay,” Pearl mumbled. “But if they show I don’t want to go ’cause everyone will know I can’t be a big girl.”
“Yes, yes I understand. Come on, let’s see what we can do,”
Dressed in only a training bra and a pull-up with some kind of princess on them, Pearl let me try to dress her. Sifting through piles of both clean and grubby clothes, I searched for something to hide her pull-up from view. Being in her room and going through clothes she had worn felt intensely intimate to me. I could smell her scent on everything and it all seemed soft and girly. When my fingers brushed a pair of her pink panties I felt a shiver go up my spine. I constantly felt like I was lingering too long and breathing in too quickly when I encountered a piece of soft, dainty underwear. I tried not to let my feelings show but Pearl immediately sensed it. She didn’t say anything, just gave me the briefest of winks. Dammit!
Pearl seemed to have loads of different shorts, all too tight and short to be of any use to us now. I tried a few skirts on her, but most of them were too tight as well. Looking at her selection of clothes it seemed to me that Pearl enjoyed flaunting her teenage body, but I suppose that’s the fashion these days.
Finally I came across a pleated grey skirt, one I didn’t think would fit too tightly and reveal the slight bulk of Pearl’s pull-ups.
“How about this,” I said, pulling the skirt up her legs and doing the snaps. “I don’t think anyone will see anything if you wear this.”
Looking down at herself and twirling, Pearl shook her head.
“It’s cute, but it’s too short. What if someone tries to look up my skirt? They’ll see.”
She was right. I’d almost caught a glimpse of pull-up as she twirled.
“I think I saw some tights here somewhere,” I said, looking through the pile of dirty clothes and pulling out a pair of white cotton tights with slightly smelly feet. They weren’t thick, but definitely not see-thru either. “How about we try these?”
“Ooh, I like them.”
The result seemed to please Pearl, and after a few minutes of twirling and bending over in front of the mirror to ensure nothing could be seen, she agreed to wear what I’d found. She picked out the figure hugging white shirt with short sleeves herself, not trusting me to make the right selection for her I suppose. After all, she was going out in public, and knowing Pearl she wouldn’t do that without a well coordinated outfit. With the pleated skirt and white cotton tights it made her look cute and schoolgirlish. I would have felt like a pervert if I had suggested going for that look to begin with, but there she was.
“Are you wet Pearl?”
Lifting up her skirt and pulling out her tights, Pearl peered down at her pull-up and shook her head.
“Nope. All dry,” she beamed proudly.
“Alright then, let’s go.”
Since it was summer holidays the shopping centre was in no way crowded, but there were still enough people to make Pearl jittery and nervous. Although I was certain the outfit she wore would hold up to even the closest scrutiny, she still seemed to feel exposed and kept touching the back of her skirt and peering down on herself to make sure the pull-up wasn’t visible. Her courage picked up after a little while though, and her mood brightened.
“It’s kind of exciting that no one knows. I like secrets,” she whispered impishly, squeezing my hand.
“I’ve got what I came for,” I said, patting the thick envelope of documents I’d picked up. “We could leave now, but do you want to have a look in some shops first?”
“Oh, yes. Let’s do that,” Pearl grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
So we spent some time looking in different shops. Mostly Pearl though, who seemed to want to study every single piece of clothing at the shopping centre. She indulged me while I browsed a book shop, but after about five minutes she got impatient and started tugging my sleeve to let me know she was bored.
And then we managed to bump into Dean. ‘How is this even possible?’ I thought to myself glumly. ‘Running into Dean twice in two days? What are the odds?’
“John!” the prat yelled. “Good to see you mate.” The whole guy was so fake and insincere I just wanted to kick him.
“Hey Dean. Fancy running into you again. I thought you were working?”
“Lunch hour mate. Got to keep up the energy,” he chuckled, waving a sandwich in my face.
“Right.”
“So who’s your pretty friend,” he said, giving Pearl a once-over.
“Dean, this is Pearl. Pearl, this is Dean, a colleague of mine,” I sighed. I just wanted to get rid of him.
Dean clearly liked what he saw. After laying eyes on her, Dean ignored me completely and directed all conversation towards Pearl. Within seconds he had managed to put me down and brag about his car. Unbelievable. All the while Pearl just looked at him blankly. Then he started hitting on her, and not too subtly either. Dean wasn’t much younger than me, and I couldn’t believe he would make a move on a girl as young as Pearl. For all my confused and mixed up feelings towards her, even I hadn’t done that. That penis-enlargement beetle car of his must have taken his confidence to unimaginable levels. When Dean asked her out, promising fine dining and ‘a night to remember’, Pearl’s patience was gone.
“Sorry… um… Dean, my daddy issues are already being taken care of,” Pearl said with a sweet half-smile, taking my hand in hers.
It took a second for Dean to decipher the message, but then he started slinking away with an insulted ‘whatever’.
“Hey Dean, you’ll want these,” I called, tossing him the package of documents I had just picked up. “Work stuff. Should keep you busy.”
“That was the Dean you told me about earlier, right?” Pearl asked after Dean had disappeared from view. “Hate the guy.”
I had no idea she’d paid attention when I told her about Dean yesterday.
“Yeah, well. He certainly liked you.”
“Not any more,” she giggled.
“You can be a real bitch Pearl, and I love you for it,” I smiled, kissing the top of her head.
“Of course you love me. We already agreed on that, remember? Let’s get milkshakes.” So we did.
About half an hour of browsing dresses had passed when Pearl urgently tugged at my sleeve.
“I have to wee,” she whispered. “Really bad.”
She was rubbing her thighs together, fighting the sudden urge. She looked cute shuffling about, trying not to let it show. It wasn’t really working.
“Why didn’t you say so earlier?”
“I didn’t know I had to pee,” she whispered, “but then a little bit came out and now I do.”
“Okay. Let’s find the restrooms.”
“Hurry up,” she moaned softly, dragging me behind her.
Thankfully, the restrooms were not far away, and I had no problem keeping up with Pearl’s hectic little steps. Her desperation was plain to see in every movement. I thought she would head for the women’s toilet, but she dragged me towards the handicapped restroom instead. I hesitated, not knowing if she wanted privacy.
“Come ON. I need you if I have an accident. Oh God, I hope I don’t have an accident,” she whispered frantically as she pushed the door open, dragging me in behind her.
Pearl hobbled towards the toilet, already lifting her pleated skirt and tugging at her cotton tights. I realized it’s quite hard to pull down your tights when you have to keep your thighs pressed together to stop yourself from going. While I locked the door Pearl wrestled frantically with her clothing. When I turned back she had managed to tug those white tights down to mid-thigh. Her long, skinny legs made her look gangly and awkward doing a pee-pee dance while restricted by the tights. This will not go well, I thought. As if to confirm my thoughts, Pearl pressed a hand to her crotch.
“Noooo, I’m peeing, I’m peeing,” she moaned desperately, the front of her pretty princess pull-up already expanding.
She tried to move backwards towards the toilet while tugging down her pull-ups, but it was too late. As the pull-ups came down slightly I could see a steady golden stream hissing from her, and she tugged them back on rather than wetting all over herself. Pearl stared down at the fading princess picture while whimpering, realizing there was nothing else she could do except pee herself and hope the pull-ups could take it all.
“I couldn’t stop my wee-wees. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” she sobbed, hanging her head and touching the front of her discoloured pull-up. The princess picture had gone.
“It’s alright little gem, we’ll fix this. No-one will ever know.”
Sliding her right hand down between her thighs, Pearl let her left hand tentatively explore the back of her wet pull-up.
“I’m all done now, I think,” she sniffled, holding out her pull-up and peering down to make sure.
The pull-ups were soaked, and a few yellow droplets escaped, trickling down her thighs. I grabbed a wad of toilet paper and dried them off so they wouldn’t reach the tights stretched between her legs.
Shuffling, almost tripping towards me in her half-undressed state, Pearl fell into my arms, burying her head in my chest and sobbing. I could feel my shirt getting wet with tears.
“I can’t believe I wet my pants like a little baby,” she sobbed. “I didn’t even want to. Not here. I just couldn’t get my clothes off in time.”
“You’re just a little girl, Pearl. Sometimes little girls can’t help it and they have accidents in their pants. I’ll help you, and you’ll be alright,” I comforted, stroking her hair as she cried.
“Yes! I AM just a hic…. little girl. A little girl who pees and hic… poops her pants.”
A little girl with hiccups.
“But you’re the best little girl there is. You’re my favourite little girl in the whole world, and I don’t care if you have accidents some times.”
“Even gross hic… poopy ones?”
“Even those.”
“I’m sorry. I thought I could do it. I really didn’t think I’d hic… wet myself,” she sniffled.
“You’ll manage next time little water gem. Or maybe the time after that. You’ll see.”
Pearl nodded sadly.
“Now let’s get you cleaned up.”
There really wasn’t much we could do except throw away Pearl’s soaked pull-up and wipe her with toilet paper. Thankfully her clothes were not wet, except for a couple of trickles that had managed to reach her tights. It wouldn’t show.
“Time to go home I think, Pearl.”
“I don’t think anyone saw. Do you think anyone saw?”
Chapter 9
When we got home, Pearl’s phone was ringing. I could see she was torn between picking it up or letting it go, but curiosity took hold and she moved towards it. The caller gave up just as she reached it.
“31 messages,” she muttered, looking down at her phone. She picked it up and started to check them, so I left her to it. It felt strange seeing Pearl with a mobile phone. Little Pearl wouldn’t know what to do with one.
Shortly after, Pearl came to join me.
“I have to go,” she said.
“Now?”
“Not right now, but soon.”
“Is it something serious? I thought you were having a good time.”
“I AM having a good time. The best time I can remember actually, but something came up and it has to do with Heather and my friends and it can’t wait so I have to go.” She blinked and her eyes looked watery.
“Is everything alright Pearl? Are you crying?”
“No, silly,” she laughed. “Everything is great. Better that great actually, it’s brilliant ’cause Heather had it coming. But also… it’s just that you’ve been so nice and everything and I’m so grateful ’cause you made everything so perfect and I think you know I really don’t want to go. But I still have to.”
She kissed my cheek, and I recognized that little Pearl was not really here anymore. This was teenage Pearl, the spoilt, lovely, bratty, beautiful eighteen-year-old girl.
“Okay.”
I felt deflated and confused. These past days had centred solely on Pearl and her needs. I’d been sucked into her world, and I didn’t really know how things would be when she left. What I did know, was that I didn’t want her to. For a second I didn’t even think she could cope on her own, that she actually needed me and that she was as helpless as little Pearl. And what would I do without that responsibility? It struck me that my days would seem a lot emptier.
“I’m taking a shower now,” Pearl stated. “Wait for me in my bedroom, and I’ll show you how grateful I am.”
What did she say?
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I said, confused and a bit shocked.
“Do I really have to tell you what I mean? I don’t think so.”
“I’m not sure about this Pearl. It kind of feels like you’re paying me for something with…. well, whatever.”
“It’s not like that! Eeewww…”
“What then?”
Pearl thought for a moment.
“It’s like… everyone should have their fantasies come true sometimes, right? And you said you have a crush on me, so right now I guess I’m, like, your ultimate fantasy or something, which is just silly but also really flattering. So since you made my fantasy come true I really, really want to make yours come true too, and I think you should let me do that since I want to.”
“Are you sure? I really don’t expect…”
“Yes! Stop talking! You’re ruining this magical gift from the gracious and magnificent queen of your dreams! Well just the dirty ones, but still…”
“Go shower,” I grinned.
“Oh, and I know what you like, ’cause I saw your porn, remember?” Pearl winked at me.
Epilogue
Peering down into Pearl’s garden I can see her splashing around in the pool with her friends. I’m glad they’re back. Maybe Pearl won’t be so lonely with people around.
A couple of weeks after the fact, Pearl told me what had happened to Heather. Apparently Pearl had called some of the most excessive party people she knew, and tipped them off about a bash at Heather’s beach house. Sure enough, the extreme drug use and drinking that followed made the neighbours complain to Heather’s parents, and teary-eyed confrontations ensued. Heather was now in rehab, and Pearl was back to being queen-bee. You really don’t want to mess with Pearl.
Pearl still comes around, and we still watch movies and listen to music together whenever she feels lonely. She doesn’t wear pull-ups or anything like that when she comes over, so I suppose she managed to struggle back control after all. We share a special intimacy these days, more than I’ve ever had with anyone else. I believe we both feel at ease with each other in ways that were never possible before.
I’m still struggling to make sense of it all though. On the one hand, Pearl is a beautiful, headstrong and capable young woman, and I have to admit she still makes me tingle like no-one else can. On the other hand she’s also little Pearl, the vulnerable and dependent little girl who needs love, guidance and security. Pearl seems to be able to juggle this a lot easier than I do, switching between them with ease. Maybe that’s because it’s not really two people at all. I see traces of little Pearl in many of the things she does now. I’m slowly piecing it together I think – Pearl’s strange, wonderful and complicated nature.
I do miss the little Pearl side of her, but I know I’ll see it again someday soon. Her room is still here, and she hasn’t even bothered to pick up her stuff. I think her parents just bought her more.
