So you all like the deep, character based stories I write with well thought out plots and a complex world? Well here’s some trashy fanservice for yah. Admittedly, it came out more like a parody of the kinds of stories someone might post on a weirdo-ridden site like Misterpoll and claim is absolutely true. The only thing that is true about this story is that the food in museums is expensive as all hell.
RIVER AND IBO
PRECIOUS LITTLE ANGELS
IN
DAY AT THE MUSEUM
When I first started babysitting River and Ibo, I was just sitting and watching them for a few hours here and there while their mom went off on an errand of some kind. Most of the time they would just sit quietly and do their homework or watch TV. They were the kindest and sweetest little kids I’d ever met.
So imagine my surprise when I found a puddle on the floor and two little kids pointing figures at each other.
“He did it!” River pointed at Ibo.
“Not she did!” he pointed back.
River was ten and Ibo was eight, both far too old to be having accidents like that. Moments after the puddle was discovered, their mother arrived home and apologized for the incident. She kicked me a few extra bucks and sent me off. As I made it out the front door I heard some banter that lead me to believe this was not the first such incident. As I continued to watch the two, I learned it wasn’t going to be the last either.
I never did figure out which one of the two sweet angels had produced the puddle,but over time as my babysitting jobs became more involved I was invited into the family secret.
The next time I watched the two, their mother again apologized for the incident and reminded me to limit their sugary liquids.
The job after that, I was instructed to make sure they both went to the bathroom regularly.
Upon my first after bedtime job, I was finally told, rather bluntly, that both River and Ibo had to wear a Pull-Up to bed. They were both capable of putting them on themselves, I just had to make sure they were under their PJs before they went to bed.
That night, Ibo proudly showed off his Iron Man battle pants, while it took a brief tantrum from River and a stern talking too before she returned from the bathroom with Tinkerbell underneath her flame retardant nightdress.
They were the first bedwetters I ever had to deal with. I didn’t know what to expect. But it went by pretty uneventfully. If I was watching them passed bedtime I simply had to make sure they had them on and that was that.
When summer started, I offered to help out more and was tasked with some day trips around town. There was the local park, the library, and other such fun attractions. Their mother warned me to ensure that they didn’t drink too much and went to the bathroom often.
One day, however, things took a turn for the strange.
I was informed that on days when the kids would be going on extra-long travels, such as long car trips, they were to be out in their nighttime Pull-Ups, just in case. And if they were going to somewhere a bit exciting and lacking in easily accessible bathrooms, such as an amusement park, the Pull-Ups stayed on.
My first trip into the city with them was to the science museum north of city. Since we lived in the eastern suburbs, we had to take a bus ride into downtown and then catch the free subway that lead straight to the museum.
“The bus ride will be about twenty minutes,” I told them as we were packing up, “And the train will be about the same. But when you factor in walking to and waiting at the bus stop, plus getting to the train station and waiting there, we’re looking at an almost hour long commute.”
“Cut to the chase,” River said, “We’re wearing Pull-Ups, right?”
“Right,” I said.
River rolled her eyes and went to change. Ibo followed with slightly less ‘tude.
“So remember that just because they’ll absorb an accident, doesn’t mean you should use them,” I explained. “They’re only in case of an emergency.”
“River’s gonna have lots of emergencies,” Ibo smiled.
“I’d rather have five wet diapers than one stinky one!” River gabbed back.
It was one of the few times I caught them bullying each other for an issue they shared.
“Now now,” I said, “Quit fighting or else we’re going to miss the bus.”
The bus stop was close to their house and from there we only waited a few minutes until we were off to the city.
“Hold my hands, please,” I said, not giving them much of a choice as I pulled them along. “Downtown is dangerous and if one of you walks off you could get kidnapped or hit by a truck or end up in a wig shop.”
“Ew, wigs!” Ibo giggled. River laughed with him.
We crossed a few strange roads before winding up in the underground station where we just barely caught the train. Once again, we were sitting and the two were their perfect angel selves.
“Are they gonna have laser tag?” Ibo asked.
“Nope.”
“What about one of those rooms where you can float around?” River asked.
“I don’t think so.”
That’s pretty much how the train ride went. Ibo’s eyes lit up when I told him we were going under the water, but River wasn’t impressed. The last stop was an above ground station, so our eyes needed some adjusting as we got off and made our way to the museum.
“Okay, let’s settle for a minute,” I said as we paid and they admired the stamps of entry that had been marked on their hands. “Who needs a change?”
The two were silent.
“Come on we left the house over an hour ago and I know neither of you went potty even though I told you too. So who needs to be changed?”
Again, no answer.
“Are my precious little angels lying to me?” I put on a fake gasp. “Well that’s fine. If you’re already wet then you can just pee again and it’ll leak and everyone will see. So then you’ll just have to walk around in wet pants or we can just keep your shirts on and you can walk around in just a Pull-Up, no pants.”
That didn’t make them budge either.
My next threat was the last. “Or we can just go home now.”
“Okay, okay,” River blushed. “I peed.”
“Thank you,” I said. “It’s okay, River, accidents happen. That’s what the Pull-Ups are for. Let’s get you changed.”
I took her into the bathroom and turned to Ibo, who stopped outside the men’s room.
“I’m dry but I have to go,” he said.
“Okay, hurry up,” I said, following River after making eye contact with a security guard. I normally would’ve made him come into the lady’s with me and River, but there were so many kids here the security was top notch.
Inside the bathroom River went into her own stall after I slipped her a fresh Pull-Up. When she came out I said, “Lemme see.”
“Come on, here?” she blushed again.
“River,” I said sternly.
She quickly lifted up her shirt just enough so I could see the familiar purple waistband poking out the top of her shirt.
“Okay, let’s go get Ibo.”
After about an hour of looking at robots and trains and the inside of a brain, River said she was thirsty. We stopped my by vending machine and I was dumbfounded.
“Four dollars for a bottle of water?! I can get two Cokes for half that.”
The kids lit up.
“We are not getting you Coke.”
But in all honestly, their mother must not have expected this when we budgeted food because I was running low on cash and I expected the price of chicken fingers at the cafeteria to be just as outrageous.
I looked down at the kids, their eyes wide with anticipation.
“Okay, fine.”
“YAAAAAAAY!”
“But,” I stipulated. “We’re gonna share one. All three of us.”
Naturally, after I took the inaugural sip, I never saw it again as the two chugged it down and went to the sugar zone for the next hour.
They didn’t exactly misbehave. They were just a bit more off the wall. They stayed where they were instead of running around. They kept quiet instead of shouting. But boy were they still a handful. They kept moving between exhibits, not staying anywhere for more than a minute, and would not stop giggling or snickering amongst themselves. But hey, they were having fun. It honestly only came down to a hundred calories each. One of the first times I watched them they each had two tall cups of orange juice and that was the end of my precious angels that night.
After the sugar started to ware down, I decided it was lunch time.
“Who needs a change?”
Both of them shot their hands in the air.
“Okay then.”
Ten minutes later I was with my two dry little angels in the cafeteria. While the chicken fingers were expensive, they were also big, so the two shared an order while I got a small yogurt and a banana.
We were about to head off to an IMAX show when Ibo tugged on my sleeve and whispered. “I need a change.”
“Ibo, you just got changed before lunch, what happened.”
River snickered and said, “Ibo pooped, Ibo pooped!”
“Shh you!” I said, “One more of that and I’ll be telling your mother.”
That certainly shut River up. For a woman who didn’t cook, their mother certainly had a lot of wooden spoons.
There was no helping it this time, I had to take Ibo into the lady’s room with me to help him change.
I’ll spare you the details.
We made it in time for the IMAX show, but we just had really crummy seats. We were about to go when River said she needed a change. I cannot believe she actually told me instead of waiting for me to ask. I also couldn’t believe she peed again. This girl pees way too much.
I was already out of Tinkerbells and just had one Iron Man left. I asked Ibo if he needed a change and he said no. So by the time we left I had a sweet little boy angel and a sweet little girl angel, both wearing bright blue Pull-Ups with extra protection where boys need it most.
Little did I know, I should not have trusted my precious Ibo. As we were riding the train, I knew. Somehow I just figured it out that he totally peed while watching the movie and then lied to me about it. There was nothing that could be done about it, so I let it go.
We got off the train fine and caught the bus back home, which is where our story reaches it’s most interesting climax.
The bus soon filled up and an elderly gentleman got on when there were no more seats left.
“Ibo sit on my lap so he can sit,” River said, surprising me once more.
“That was very kind of you,” I said to both of them when Ibo was on River’s lap and the old man had his seat.
“I have to pee,” Ibo whispered to me.
“You’re wearing a Pull-Up, duh!” River said.
“It might leak, right?” I asked.
Ibo blushed and nodded.
“You lied when I asked if you needed a change, didn’t you?”
Ibo nodded.
“Well there is no use worrying about that now,” I said. “Try and hold it.”
“I can’t,” Ibo said, distressed.
“If he leaks,” River said, “It’s gonna get all over me!”
“I’m sorry,” Ibo said, looking away.
“Oh no,” River whispered. And then a second later, she winced and screamed, “Noooooooooo!”
When we got off the bus, there was just a small dab of wetness on Ibo’s bottom, but somehow a large wet ring had made it on to the front of River’s pants.
“I can’t believe this,” she said. “It looks like I peed my pants, this is so embarrassing.”
“It’s okay,” I told her, “We’ll be home in a minute.” I didn’t think she needed to be reminded that she technically did peed her pants three times, and I assume she was working on a forth as we headed home.
When we arrived at their house, their mother was already home and getting dinner ready.
“I hope they weren’t too terrible,” she said.
“Oh no, they were just precious little angels,” I replied.
“River sweetie, did you leak?” she asked as her daughter took off her shoes.
“No, Ibo did.”
This confused her mother, but I explained the kind gesture River did on the bus and her mother was quite impressed. The kids went upstairs and their mother settled the payment with me.
The kids then ran through the kitchen and into the living room, both naked from the waist down save from soggy Pull-Ups dangling from their bottoms.
“Perhaps next time we should send some proper Huggies with you,” their mother whispered. “It’ll save on all those leaky Pull-Ups they go through.”
“Nooooooo!” the kids shouted from the TV.
I smiled at their mother, with an unsure glance wondering whether or not she was serious. They certainly would look cute in real baby diapers. But River is going to be in middle school soon. She might get too big one day.
That was just the first day trip I took with River and Ibo. It wasn’t the last and it certainly wasn’t the most interesting. Maybe one day I’ll tell you some more. After all, I love sharing stories about my precious little angels.