Nana comes to me and hugs me tenderly. She walks me over to the rocking chair and sits, picks me into her lap, and has me lie across her breast. She rubs her hand gently across my head. She says, Baby, dont be upset. She starts to rock slowly and continues, its what we were talking about. You will know when the time is right. Others know too. It comes when it comes.

I knew I had finally met the most beautiful man I had ever seen. I had wanted to meet him for a long time and never had the chance. I remember him and had seen him at various times when momma or daddy would take me to the mall or the park. I had never spoken to him. The opportunity never arose. We were in rather close proximity at most times and I did notice how beautiful he was. But when daddy actually introduced me. His touch … his lovely voice … Ummmmmm! Goose bumps sprout all over my skin.
I remember the look in daddys face … he chose that moment to do it too. I giggle.

Nana kisses me softly on the top of my head as she continues to rock me.
I wonder what it would be like. To actually go on a date with him. I wonder if he would be willing to take someone like me on a real date.

I ask, Nana … do you think he would actually take me on a date?

Nana giggles sweetly and replies, Miki, I think he would be more than honored to take you any place you asked him.
I shrug and respond, Suppose I dont want to ask Him?

She holds me and kisses me again and says, Oh, I see, you want him to ask you. Is that it? She starts rocking slowly again. Then continues, It … could happen I suppose. But wouldnt you think it would be more direct if you made the suggestion?

I replied wistfully, I dont know, Nana. Just seems right he asks me.

Nana smiles sweetly as she caresses my head then says, It does seem the proper thing. I agree.

I am thinking about my fantasy. I feel so strange deep inside. I do have a reference point other girls at this time of their life dont have. I still remember being John too. I remember having great joy. I also remember being deeply in love. I know that woman is long dead by now. I know if I do go on a date with Larry, I will belong to him. I shudder with sweet little chills.