I woke up early before Nana had come to the nursery. I get out of bed. I am wearing the outfit mommy had put me in when she put me to bed after Nana had neurolized me to sleep. I am wearing a short powder blue princess baby dress with matching rumba panties and a diaper. I hear soft back ground music playing. It is really soothing. I walk to the rocking chair. I sit in it and pull my knees up, wrap my arms around them, and think.
I am still grief stricken. Some information I am realizing is kept from me, I will have to discover why. I look around the room. It is some kind of fantasy. Maybe a dream like Larry said to me once. I still have the memories of being John. I think of Earth. I wonder what it is like this many centuries later.
I look at the Guardians on my wrists. They are a genetic part of me. With their help, I am in Direct Admin Control of the most powerful force ever created by mankind. I wonder why it was me who mysteriously had the Admin Genes in my makeup. How is it I just happen to be Emperess too. There are a lot of these kinds of … coincidences in my life.
I hold my hand out flat. A small sphere of multi-colored light appears there and glows brightly. I wonder at this and many of the other things that just happen to do exactly what it is I want it to do without any conscious thought. I close my hand and the light vanishes.
I reach up and touch my collar. It is still firmly attached and is a permanent part of my genetic makeup. I wonder how Master Controller manages to arrange everything with such precision. I wonder if this dream machine accident was an accident. I remember the reality of the fantasies it created. I wonder if I am not lost in one now and that is the accident.
I wonder if maybe Fathers aircraft was damaged and is inoperable except for the dream machine and I am the only survivor. The dream machines function is to keep me alive, healthy, and to occupy me until such time as the ship reaches its preprogrammed destination. If it were seriously damaged and no one could find it, It will never reach any destination and I will never be released.
I look at the clock. It is 2:40 in the morning. I look around the nursery and see mommy in bed sleeping. She has her arms around Lisa now that I got up and no am longer there for her to cuddle with.
I call up my Guardian data base and request the stored … Things to remember file.
Instead, I hear a click … Its Master Controller.
It says in its strange alien voice, Good morning Miss Anton.
Me, I feel I am owed an explanation … dont you think?
It, Ask … it is given.
Me, Ok, but you still know what Im wanting. I expect you to tell me with no sleepy time.
It replied with friendly amusement, As you wish, Emperess.
Me, Lets start with the accident. My life began with those memories. I remember the accident.
It, The malfunction of the dream machine.
I am silent … I want an explanation. I know it knows what depth I want to be informed as well.
It then told me a story. I was shocked.
The head of the Imperial armada had run when the first Thrnoxian Demand for surrender came. Because of this cowardice, I almost died of the explosion caused in the battle between my daddy’s ship and his. He warned no one of the impending invasion. He ran. The only reason I wasnt dead, because my other half, John, was brave enough to save me and my daddy before the ship we were on exploded.
The armada commander had left all totally with the largest threat the Universe had known.
It told of the many millions of deaths the Thrnoxians had caused. It told of the countless worlds they had totally obliterated in their blind conquest of space. IT told me why I am a Pet and why my mom has all the rights and authority and access to me that entails. IT told me the whole story. IT told me exactly who I was, what I was, and all the near catastrophes along the way to who I became yesterday when I destroyed the Thrnoxians home system.
I am devastated to learn how many billions I had destroyed. Men, women, and children. Animals too, entire biospheres obliterated. It had ended the Galactic conflict. A little girl discovered what happens if she gets angry. I was in tears. It brought little comfort that there was no war any more. I am very distraught. I am crying.
Me, Ok … wait please. Why do I not remember this that way? Also, Why is it that certain … data … is refused me? Dont I … need to know sometimes?
It, Im sorry, Miss Anton. It isnt that you are being denied anything. It is who you happen to be.
Me, What does that mean?
It, Miss Anton, you are the only human in the known universe who can wave her hand and clench her fist … and destroy an entire star system. Has it ever … have you ever thought of what type of personality this individual must have?
I am stunned. Realization of what I had actually done in anger with the Thrnoxians. I feel even more horrible suddenly. Even more ill. I am crying harder.
It says in a very sorrowful tone, Miss Anton, you must be a child. I must insure you are sweet and innocent. Because you are an Imperial Royal Pet, I have allowed you to be thus and have the adult quality that Larry is attracted to. You have been given freedom. Not even Lisa enjoys quite the freedoms you do. You are still the most unique Pet in all the universe. There are rules to the game. You have played the game masterfully. You are this way so that you do not use this power in anger or tainted with … other prejudices. You are purged. The data is available to you at any time … Should the need arise for you to have it. You will be given it. When the need has passed, You will be purged. I know this is a bad thing for you in your mind. Think on this: Will it taint you to know what you know now? You tell me Miss Anton.
I know it has changed me to know what I know now. I am grief stricken.
I know I would have a hard time repeating what I did if I had the knowledge I have now.
I remember what I did when Melissa had first come into the nursery so long ago. Right after the purging the last time. That was the halo. That was what that was. I had no idea what it was because I didnt need to know then what it was. Stupid logic.
Me, I guess its true then. I have access to the knowledge at all times.
It, This is true.
Me, But, its sorta on a …. strange need to know basis.
It, This is also true.
Me, And when the need to know ends … I dont know anymore?
It, Correct, Miss Anton.
Me, And how long before the next purging?
There was a click in my mind as the halo mom had just put on my head engaged. I squeaked softly as my body stiffened. I feel trillions and trillions of new concepts and neuro pathways down load. I feel a deep probe all the way to my very essence. It almost hurts. I feel a filtering process. I know things are going away. I do not remember what they are the removal is so complete. I even have the knowledge they have been removed taken. Wave after wave of down load. What realization is within me during this type of operation realizes how much of a download I am getting. It takes a very long time to complete. My Personal Personality Profile is modified. I am enhanced and am more of the little girl than before. Two new files are opened. Neuro pathways for two, three, and four year old personality. What I have always been is now real and no longer a program trait. The other contains a mix protocol. The finest one ever devised by Master Controller. An innocence spreads through me. I am given a freedom. I only know I am free. I will always be a pure Diamond. All knowledge of these actions are removed. One last Major Download. Massive data transfer … Erasure … no knowledge of what the down load was.
I am suddenly mixed. Every thing old and new are very meticulously blended down to the finest detail. The mix is the most precise ever. What is to be discarded is erased and even the memory of them is gone. The Whole memory of the download goes away too. My eyes focus. Mommy removes the Halo from my head. I am crying. I am a little girl who needs to be comforted. I have just had a very unsettling experience. I am totally in the dark as to what it was. Mommy picks me up from the rocking chair. She is hugging and kissing me and telling. me she loves me. She carries me over to the bed. She drops the halo nonchalantly into the trash. She lays on the bed with me.
I am on my back lying against mommys tummy. She is wrapped all around me and is above me. She is comforting me as she runs her fingers gently through my hair.
I see a collar on her. Her Neuro Stone is a strange color I have never seen before. It looks like a pure diamond … it has so much motion in it. It appears that it has some kind of energy swirling in it making it change different colors. But more than that. It seems it was alive.
Seriously scary and important Realization … Mom is bonded with ,,, Forgetfulness … I cannot remember what I was thinking.
IT to its own thoughts, Yes Miss Anton. Neither Beth or you need to know this fact at this time.
Mommy is caressing my face. She bends over and kisses me sweetly. She wipes my face with a soft tissue where I had been crying. My eyes are all red and puffy.
Mom, Is baby all right now?
Me, Thanks, mom. Youre a doll.
Mom tickles me in my ribs. I screech and kick my feet. I try to getaway. Mom has me by my leg. She takes my slippers off and tickles my feet before she lets me go and I scramble to the other side of the bed.
All knowledge of the ordeal is gone and I am now my happy little baby girl self again tussling playfully with my mommy.
