It was then that Ted ambled into the room wiping sleep from his eyes holding a startled Jen. “What’s going on in here!?”
“Look at what your baby of a teenage daughter did to our bed!!!” Pointing to the wet spot.
Jordan was too shocked to defend herself – now almost hysterical in fear and tears.
“Melissa you need to take a breath dear – it was an accident. This is what happens with kids. We’ll get it cleaned.” Ted said firmly and calmly.
“TED LOOK!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT COSTS!!! YOU’RE RIGHT WE’LL GET IT CLEANED!!” Mellissa said knowing she had been beat. She stomped into the master bath and slammed the door.
“Jordie are you ok?” He bent down and touched her shoulder. She flinched away and continued to cry. “Look honey I’m sorry she was mean – I’m sorry you’ve not been getting along with her – I promise it’ll get better. This is no big deal I swear.”
She didn’t respond. Ice Cold. He didn’t know what to do so he just moved back into the living room area with the baby still on his hip. This is impossible, he thought.
This is impossible, Sally thought that morning as she sipped coffee in her quiet living room holding the framed professional family photograph they had had taken the previous June.
How does a family like ours go from ‘model’ to ‘shipwrecked’ in just a few months? What happened?
She hadn’t spent the evening before with friends or at a church small group or with other family. She had stayed home alone and cried feeling sorry for herself and pacing around in anxiety worried about what would happen (or not happen) to her girls and their various problems – especially Jordan.
She thought about calling Ted’s early that Saturday morning– in fact she had had a strong (call it maternal instinct) impulse to try to get ahold of Jordan for some reason at around 5:30 but she resisted.
She’s gotta go through what she’s gotta go through over there and if I call – it’s gonna short circuit everything. She’s probably gonna want to come home and I’m gonna end up in a big fight with Ted and it’ll be awful. God please help me. For better or worse, I’ve gotta get outta this house; get my mind off it!
Sally steeled her emotions and made the choice to cut herself off from the girls for the duration of the weekend.
On a whim, the fretting mother of 3 chose to dial Jo Miller’s number. They had drifted apart through her husband Bob’s addiction problems but when they were both pregnant with their girls, they had been extremely close friends. Sally decided that it might be a good time to reconnect; and possibly a good way for her to build relationships outside her own home circle.
“Hello?” The voice on the other end of the line was both familiar and friendly.
“Jo? This is Sally Reynolds.”
“Oh Hi Sally! How’re you doing?”
“Well – actually. Not too well.”
Thus began about a two-hour phone conversation that culminated in coffee together at the Reynolds’s household with the pair staying up late with even more conversation together. Jo’s advice and wisdom gleaned over the years after having dealt with her difficult husband was invaluable to Sally in her current predicament. She couldn’t believe her luck to be friends with such an amazing person.
At one point in the conversation while the two were sitting in chairs in Sally’s living room, Jo remembered her promise to her daughter Alex to tell Sally about Jordan’s refusal to go to the slumber party a couple weeks ago.
“So a few weeks ago, Alex jumped in my car really upset about something going on with Jordan.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah – and I normally wouldn’t triangulate like this but I promised Alex I’d mention it to you so I will and then I’ll drop it. Ok?”
“Ok…?” Sally said now curious.
“Well – Alex told me she and Jordan received invitations for a sleepover slumber party at Georgia Yates’ house maybe 3 weeks ago – it was sort of last minute but that’s kind of how these kids do things. Anyways, Jordan told Alex she wasn’t going because she’s been wetting the bed? Or something? And Alex was extremely upset about her decision because she was worried that rejecting it would cause her to be a social outcast at school – or be picked on more or something. I guess Jordan gets teased quite a bit.”
“Jordaaaan…mmmmm…” Sally said aloud shaking her head, “her dad is gonna be so pissed. Mr. Yates is the chair of the School Board and he’s one of the biggest givers to Hope Seattle. It’s a pretty big slap in the face to that family for them to invite my daughter over for a party and then to have her turn around and say ‘no’. UGH!!! That girl!!!”
“Well – like I said, I’m just bringing you the message and getting out of it. Alex was concerned about her social stock and that’s a different issue than your concerns. But apparently this all happened and is true…so do with it what you’d like.”
Oh I’ll do something – you can bet your brastraps on that!! Sally thought to herself.
The evening had ended with hugs and friendly commitments to one another to stay more connected in the coming weeks and months. Sally with thankful and surprised by Jo’s grace and felt hopeful that perhaps she might’ve struck gold. Jo was hopeful of the same.
Ted, Melissa, and the girls spent the day hanging out at ‘his’ apartment and bopping around downtown bundled up in the rain. The next day, Ted had been offered corporate box seats to see the Seattle Seahawks. At the time, the old Kingdome had been destroyed and the new stadium was still under construction; so the team was temporarily playing at the college field in the “U District” on lake Washington (actually nearby the site of Jordan’s sleep study). Everyone was excited about the event but before it could happen, Saturday night sleeping preparations had to be made.
“Come let me help you get ready for bed Jordan.” Melissa said standing in the apartment’s bedroom doorway with a twinge of cheer in her voice but primarily with pragmatism. The teenage bed wetter sat on the living-room couch and gazed into a book assigned for English class.
What did she just say to me? There’s no way I’m letting that lady touch me!
Jordan ignored the request.
“Jordan…now…please?” Melissa nagged.
Again, still no response.
From the couch, Ted chimed in. They had strategized about this confrontation earlier in the day. “Jordie,” the girl cringed a bit as he used the term of endearment she had grown accustomed to hear exclusively from her Mom, “last night you didn’t do a very good job of putting your night…protection…on and we just can’t have you leak on our bed…I mean on my bed again. So Melissa is gonna help you with it tonight.”
Jordan immediately felt utterly alone. How was she to respond? How could she argue her way out of this? She wished her mom would come and take them home. She wished she never had to see that woman again…let alone allow her to…diaper me? A tear streaked down her face.
“Oh it’s not that bad.” Said Melissa as she noticed Jordan’s distress.
“Obey me Jordan.” Said Ted firmly.
The girl sloughed up and shuffled into the bedroom as Melissa closed the curtained glass door behind them.
“Where are your diapers Jordan?” the older but smaller woman asked.
“In there” said the tall teenage girl, pointing toward her suitcase but acting as though she was something more like 3 or 4. Melissa rummaged through the luggage until she produced a purple diaper.
“Ok, get over here.” She said motioning to the bed in front of her.
Jordan sauntered over with little commitment, looking straight down.
“Pants off please.”
Jordan didn’t react. Melissa didn’t wait. Unbuttoning the girl’s jeans and unzipping them herself, she pushed the waistband down. Frozen, Jordan still didn’t move. Once both they and her panties were at her feet, Melissa said, “Lie back on the bed please.”
Finally she responded as commanded. Melissa finished removing Jordan’s clothes hanging on her feet and she rather roughly unfolded the diaper. “Lift up your butt.” She obeyed and the stand-in caretaker slid it in place.
Now seeing Jordan’s obvious sign’s of womanhood and having already noticed the feminine pads in her suitcase, Melissa couldn’t help but berate the girl, “Jeez – I would expect someone as old and mature as you to be able to keep your panties dry at night. I saw your kotex in the suitcase so you must be bleeding already. Right? You know – we WOMEN don’t piss the bed – you know?. If you want a man to love you and notice you – you sure as shit can’t be wearing diapers at night!!” She laughed condescendingly.
Melissa roughly pulled the diaper up between the defeated girl’s legs and tightly sealed each leg cuff before taping shut the waistband. “There you go baby. Ready for your wet night. Don’t bother looking for your PJs, they’re still soaked with your pee-pee from last night. Go ahead and just stay in here and crawl in bed.”
She turned, shut off the light, and closed the door before Jordan had budged – suitcase still on the bed. She was alone in the bedroom with her sisters and dad with that strange woman outside in the living room. It was 7:30pm.
Jordan was shaken. Deeply. She couldn’t move for a long time despite the sounds she heard on the other side of the door. The warm feelings that had crept in about diapers over the preceding days had vanished and she couldn’t even touch it. She felt dirty. Ashamed. Alone. Abused.
What just happened to me? Is she right? Will I be in these things forever? Will kids treat me the same if they find out?
Her thoughts shifted to her Dad – who had disappointed her and hurt her so dreadfully over the past months and years. Why can’t I just have a Daddy who cares about me? Why can’t I have a Daddy who wants to be home with his girls? Who loves my mommy? Who wants to take care of us?
Who notices me?
At that thought she started crying. Sobbing then. Gasping. I just want him to see me.