Chapter 18 – [January 3 & 7]
For a girl who felt all kinds of shame and confusion about wearing diapers nightly for uncontrollably peeing herself (and sort of was growing to like it), it felt odd to be treated with respect (or even celebrated) as an author. An activity most commonly associated in her mind with adults (and namely wise and mature adults), Jordan felt all the more weird to be seemingly simultaneously straddling the worlds of both writing and babyhood.
In the end, Jordan had chosen to record her short story “Together in Space” herself. It took place at the NPR station near the University of Washington campus. The experience had been difficult, interesting, and also a little fun. She appreciated the support and respect granted her by the workers at the station. As she left, for the first time in her life she was filled with a sense that she had something unique and of value to offer to the world.
It was interesting however, when diapers or bedwetting came to mind as she was at work in that context – rather than bringing up peace like they had each night at home with her mom – brought her stress and anxiety. While visiting the station and working amongst such driven professionals, her growing acceptance (or even interest in) her mom’s care and the continued dawning of her appreciation for the infantile garments caused her to question herself in negative ways. The compliments of the station managers rolled off her back a little quicker than they might’ve otherwise. And she even questioned some of the former logic she had once believed that said she could become a great writer some day.
After the recording was all over, Jordan began to think in earnest about starting a new project. It had been over a month and a half since she had written anything outside of class and the hiatus was not becoming to her. She even wondered if the loss of that coping mechanism was leading her to have all new (and odd) feelings about she and her mom’s nightly routine. As she dreamed in their minivan, bouncing through the cold Seattle streets toward home, the idea came to mind of writing a story about a boy who can make himself disappear.
This project would be a book. A novel. Much longer and more complex than the simple short story about exploring Mars – but it could be a similar kind of science fiction theme once again. The boy might discover this ability as he was going through his teenage years and rather than embracing the power, he might be ashamed of it and try to hide it. Gradually, over time, he might show it to friends or use it as a cheap trick before it starts causing trouble for him.
As Jordan dreamed of what it would be like to begin work on this new project, she became more and more exited about the ideas that popped into her head. In fact, on their way home from the station, she had insisted her mom pull over at a drug store so she could run in and buy a cheap notebook to begin writing down thoughts that were pouring into her mind at every instant. The young writer was off to the races once again.
At BCS on the first day after Christmas break, which was the first Monday following New Years Eve, Jordan was treated like a minor celebrity. The news of her semi-finalist status had traveled fast after Mr. Johns announced it in class the second week of December. The churches that supported the school had put the news (along with the NPR airtimes) in their weekly programs and moms had phoned each other with the positive (or negative) gossip. Everyone knew – and everyone had an opinion. By the time school was actually back in session, beyond knowing about the victory, they had actually heard Jordan narrate the story on the air as well – and she had knocked it out of the park. People loved her tale.
Her new friends Cindy and Riley were completely blown away by the quality of writing, by the way they were drawn in to Jordan’s story, by her eloquence on the microphone, by her inflection, and mannerisms. They almost couldn’t believe it was Jordan – and it made them proud to know her personally now that half the school was fawning all over her. The two made a pretty hard pitch to Georgia (back from her European Christmas escapades) for forgiving Jordan and joining them in alliance with her. She had readily accepted their proposal and although some tension remained between the two, Jordan felt as though she was in an entirely different place socially at BCS than she had been at the beginning of the year, including with Georgia.
This is not to say the tall girl with the bedwetting problem didn’t have enemies. Amber and Nicole were all too aware of Jordan’s newfound popularity and rather than feeling happy for her, they were incredibly jealous and incredulous. All year long, they had given her the hardest time about her height, look, appearance, gait, friend choice, lack thereof, and anything else they could think of. Jordan had become the butt of all their jokes and the focus of all their laughs. She bad been called the “giraffe”, “stems”, “twiggy”, “Olive Oyle”, “sticklet”, “stretch”, and the list went on and on and on.
Perhaps the last straw for Amber and Nicole, leaders and stars of the same volleyball team Alex had played on through the fall, was when Joey Michael (the consensus cutest boy in Jr. High and also the best basketball player) had come over to Jordan’s table during lunch to specifically tell her that he had heard her story on the radio and really liked it. Although the two bullies had only overheard the compliment and hadn’t turned to look, Jordan’s friends saw that she had turned all sorts of shades of red and purple by his compliment and was barely able to squeak out a “thanks” as he walked away.
After lunch, but before class began again, the two girls schemed for ways in which they could destroy the unsuspecting giantess.
“This has got to stop! That idiot is nothing more than a goofy, tree eating nerd who’s 10 feet tall and lamer than…than…” Amber got hung up with her own slam before Nicole Jumped in.
“…She’s just so stupid! And UGLY! Have you ever once seen her come to school with good makeup? I mean, it’s only been since she started hanging out with that rich girl’s friends that she’s even started trying a little bit – and it’s God-damned terrible! Shit.”
“You’re tellin’ me! That girl is about as homely as they come – and about as uncoordinated of a tramp too. All that height and no skill. She’s like a diva – but without the looks – or the fashion – or the social skill – she’s got nothing….” Nicole said as they both laughed.
“So I’ve been meaning to tell you – you know what I heard from a 6th grader a few weeks ago?” Amber said.
Amber went on to tell her friend about a boy named Ed she had come to know in the waiting room of the principal’s office that week. A boy who, one day after school, back in November was in detention; he had heard a couple girls talking about some weird stuff right outside the open window of the classroom. The teacher wasn’t in the room, so the boy said he went up and sat on the floor under the open window, listening in on the conversation. What he heard was shocking apparently – a conversation between two girls that had been invited to a slumber party of a girl by the name of Georgia. One of them didn’t want to go because something might happen while she slept – something for which she wore some kind of special clothing item as a precaution. The boy had put two and two together pretty quickly and so had Amber – this girl outside the window wet the bed and wore pull-ups or something for it. He said he was too scared to look for fear of getting caught spying but it was a very strange exchange.
“Nicole! – it’s Jordan Reynolds! It has to be. She’s the only one who skipped that party – she’s the only moron stupid enough to get invited to a party at the house of the richest kid in school and turn it down…”
“And apparently…she pisses her little girlie pants in bedie-bye…”, Nicole said with a mischievous grin, “how tragic it must be to have such a terrible problem! And what a horrific nightmare it would be if – say – the whole school were to find out about it!”
They both laughed deviously.
“But you know,” Amber began, “If we just start telling people this like it’s gospel truth – it’ll probably get crushed immediately. It’s just scuttlebutt. Some kids’ll talk about it for a couple days; she’ll deny it if it comes to her and that’ll be that.”
“Especially since she’s so popular all of a sudden,” Nicole agreed, “It’ll end up being just a lame rumor and nothing more. We need this and something more – we need proof.”
“We need shock and Awe!” Amber said as the plan was becoming clear in her mind.
“Yeah – you’re right girl! We need a smoking gun.” Nicole said. “It’ll come; we’ll get it. And that nasty stinky giant of a girl will squirm again.”
They both smiled together.
During afternoon classes that Monday, one of the churches that operated an amazing summer camp sent staff to visit many if not all the Jr. High classrooms to do short presentations on what the experience would be like if students were to sign up. Jordan had heard of Camp White Pines for years and she had looked forward to the time when she would arrive in seventh grade and have the chance to go for the summer herself.
The camp was located in south central Washington State on the Columbia Plateau just north of the Columbia River. It was nestled in an arid zone but yet high enough on the slopes of the Cascade Mountains that it was still surrounded by trees. The facility had multiple cabins for troops of campers and their counselors, a pool complex, stage and worship center, mess hall, and acres of outdoor activities and hiking. Multiple times a week, the camp bus would drive campers the hour or so down to the river for skiing, wakeboarding, and swimming in the river.
To enroll – campers had to commit to the full summer, 6 weeks minimum or up to 10 weeks maximum. It was an old style camp unlike many other church sponsored camps, which had tended to switch over to a week-by-week model with staged ages. White Pines had a much more narrow age span (12-16) and was an all summer experience.
As the energetic collegiate and young adult staff described White Pines and encouraged the students at BCS to take their registration packets home to their parents and enroll, Jordan felt a growing sense of apprehension.
I’ve wanted to do this my whole life – but my wetting hasn’t stopped. AT ALL. How am I supposed to be at camp all summer if I’m peeing the bed? How am I supposed to wear diapers there and not get found out? Is that even possible? Has that ever happened?
And what about the fee? Would Dad even help pay for it? I doubt mom has the money? With that bitch Melissa in charge of Dad’s checkbook now, how can we even afford it?
She felt stressed just thinking about the idea of something that was supposed to be incredibly fun.
That evening, Jordan poured out her concerns out about camp to her Mom as she got ready for bed. Sally knew that her daughter had been looking forward to White Pines Camp for years and she even had thought about it when the bedwetting proved to be a little more persistent than she had originally hoped.
“Well honey, your best friend knows about your diapers and bedwetting now – and she seems ok with it. You guys are just fine. Why would you expect your other friends to be any different?”
“MOM! I’m not friends with all those bitches!”
“JORDAN! Language!”
“Sorry – It’s just – I’m not friends with everyone who goes to BCS and there’re specifically some girls who really really hate me…if they found out about this, I bet my life would be over. And today, kids were like super nice to me because they all heard the radio show and they all like treated me almost like a celebrity and stuff. It was crazy…such a good change too.”
This girl is starting to sound like a teenager every moment, Sally thought to herself.
“Hmmm. Well. Maybe there’s a way for you to go to camp and keep your diapers a secret from everyone else? Maybe we can find you some that are slightly thinner – maybe ones that have the fabric type backs like what Jen wears?”
An odd jolt passed through Jordan’s body as she envisioned a diaper like Jen’s fitting her body – it was a weird sensation to feel; and a weird thought to think for the first time. With no time to dwell on it though, she had to answer her mom in the pregnant silence.
“Yeah – I guess maybe so – I dunno… Maybe you can call the camp and ask if they’ve ever had someone like me and what they’ve done before?” Jordan suggested.
“Oh well that’s an idea – and it probably would be the best place to start. Tell you what Jordie, I’ll tell you what, tomorrow I’ll give them a call and figure out just that. I’m sure your impulse is right.”
“Thanks mom – and you know – I promised Alex that I’d go to her sleepover for her birthday…and I’ve got to do it…I’ve just got to. So maybe I could do some kind of test run with someone on that night too?”
“Good thinking honey. Now. Let’s get those clothes off – and into your diaper for tonight ok?”
“Ok”, Jordan smiled, happy but still feeling a sense of foreboding for what was to come at Alex’s party.