Chapter 20 – [January 15]
After having been in the ER for the better part of the day Monday, Jordan stayed home from school to recover on Tuesday (and Wednesday as well). Because Ted was of no more use with childcare than he had ever been (especially given the divorce filings and mistress), Sally was on her own to take care of her ‘patient’. Because she had finally pinned down a job as a CPA at an accounting firm and because she was still a new employee there, she had no extra sick days or vacation time to surrender in order to stay home.
Effectively a full-time single mom then, Sally had a problem: what am I gonna do with Jordan tomorrow? Jen could go to daycare and Mindi to Kindergarten like normal, but there’s no way Jordie’s gonna be in a position to make it to school already and she certainly needs help around the house! What am I gonna do?
Jo Miller, Alex’s mom, once again in a short span of time became a lifeline for Sally; this time, as a stand-in babysitter and nurse. The stressed mom had talked with her Monday night after returning home from the ER almost frantic with fear. She hadn’t exactly dumped her fear in an effort to get Jo to come over and help again so much as to just vent – but her dear friend had quickly insisted on being the babysitter as long as she needed it.
I can’t believe my luck to have such an amazing friend – I can’t believe I didn’t realize how amazing she is!
The ER Doc had finished evaluating Jordan’s bladder infection symptoms and examining her diaper rash before announcing in shock, “most girls her age are able to keep themselves dry at night”. His primary suggestions for clearing up the rash, as well as for preventing a future infection were “taking a break from the diapers – permanently ideally – but even for a night or two will help. Don’t you know there are other options for treating nocturnal enuresis?” He had scolded.
Of course Jordan didn’t really want to try other treatments for her nighttime problem by this point in her life and Sally wasn’t interested in adding extra work to her plate now that she was a full time single mother. As for treating the bladder infection she had already contracted, antibiotics, rest, and water were the doctor’s orders.
Over the following evening and subsequent night, Jordan’s pain in her back and abdomen became quite a bit more bearable. In fact as a kind gesture to her mom, on Tuesday morning she had asked if she ought to go to school so that Sally wouldn’t have to worry while she was at work.
“No Jordie, you’re still very sick dear. You need to be in bed at least another day like the doctor said.” Sally said sitting on the side of sick teen’s bed stroking her hair.
“Oh, well I’ll probably be ok here alone I guess.” She still looked rather pale and was clearly fatigued.
“Well no – actually I don’t think you will dear,” Sally said getting up and pulling back the covers, “Mrs. Miller is gonna come over today and stay with you while I go t—–”
“MOM NO!” Jordan tried to sit up but felt her arms slightly buckle.
“Listen Jordie, Mrs. Miller is a very good friend of mine. She doesn’t work. And her daughter already knows about your wetting and diapers and everything. She offered to come help both of out today – and God knows you need it.” At that Sally continued to undress her daughter.
“Jo will take very good care of you and she won’t mind at all helping you with these.” She held up Jordan’s wet diaper rolled up and taped in a ball. Sally began replacing the soggy diaper with a fresh one instead of panties as she said, “And I think you need to stay in one for today at least. We’ll see how well you do with the leakage. Ok?”
Still feeling the weakness in her body and the dull ache in her lower back and abdomen, Jordan gave up and let her mom do the deed. She knew her mom was right. I probably could use some help. But I’d rather have a stranger than Alex’s Mom!
“Ok.” The teenage said with a slight tone of defeat in her voice.
Although wearing diapers and being looked after by her mom had become something she was starting to appreciate in some ways, Jordan didn’t care for them nearly as much when they were an absolute requirement (as in this circumstance) – much less when outsiders were in charge of doing the changing!
[January 16]
The plan Tuesday was for Jo to be over to the house on 22nd ave. by about 7am so that Sally could give her a quick walkthrough before taking Mindi to Kindergarten. Jo had said that she would be fine keeping Jen at the house as well and Sally had agreed that she might like a break from daycare.
Jordan’s involuntary loss of urine had continued through Monday evening, Monday night (as usual), and Tuesday morning. When Jo arrived, Jordan had been freshly diapered for the day after she and her mother’s conversation about ‘the babysitter’ and she was lying in bed almost asleep once again.
“Thank you so much for doing this one more time Jo, I can’t tell you how much it means to me.” Sally said in the kitchen as she was putting the last of her files in her briefcase, smiling widely. Tears began to creep into her eyes, “It’s such a relief to know that I can leave the girls in good hands that I can trust.”
“Oh Sally! Of course! I’m more than happy to help you out! I’m so happy you trusted me enough to ask. You’ve been there for me for so many years and so has the whole church – I can’t help but want to give back for what I’ve received.” Sally smiled genuinely.
“A couple things you should know for today before I go…” Sally took a breath, “You know that Jordan’s been wetting the bed for quite a while now…”
She looked for confirmation and Jo nodded.
“…and we’ve been using diapers to manage that…?” Sally looked for an acknowledgement once again.
“Oh yeah, sure…”
“Well…” she had a bit of apprehension in her voice, “her bladder infection has caused some temporary light incontinence – so I went ahead and just changed her into a new diaper this morning instead of having her put on regular clothes…just in case it’s still a problem today.” Sally gave Jo a slightly cockeyed smile and raised her eyebrows. She felt a little embarrassed of the situation. “The doctor says it’ll probably clear up by tonight at the latest but I didn’t want you to have to deal with wet sheets all day because she really needs to stay in bed and rest. I hope you don’t have a problem changing her once or twice…do you?” Sally looked at her once again with some fear for confirmation.
A little surprised by the unusual request, Jo hesitated for a moment and then responded, “…oh, well…hmm…I guess not. But won’t that be awkward for Jordan? She can’t do it herself?”
“I always help her – I guess maybe I just got in the habit from the very beginning. It’s something she really does need a hand with. It’s leaked badly when she’s done it in the past. But maybe she can be in charge today if you’d rather not…maybe you can ask her about it…” Sally felt like she was back peddling.
“Oh ok. No I’d be fine with it as long as she’s comfortable. I’ll talk with her…So where are her…um…supplies?” Jo asked cautiously.
“Oh. Yes. Well there are diapers in her closet and you (or she or whatever) need to make sure to apply diaper rash cream that’s on her night stand – she’s got a pretty bad rash going and I might have to take her into the doctor for something a little more powerful. Throw the used diapers into the back outside trash can in a tied up grocery sack.”
“O…ok…sure. I think we can handle that…” Jo said once again feeling even a bit more awkward about the thought of diapering a teenage girl. Yet at the same time, she felt committed to her friend and steeled in her willingness to do what it took to get through the day as requested.
“Alright well – thanks again Jo, you’re like an angel for me today.” Sally smiled widely and moved to hug Jo.
The younger woman responded warmly. “You’re very welcome.”
The morning had been quiet and uneventful. Jordan had slept hard still under the influence of pain medication and also simply feeling zapped of energy from her infection. Jo and Jen played games in the living room and red books and had a grand time. When Jo had popped her head in Jordan’s room a couple times before noon, the teenagers was fast asleep and in the same position both times, curled up on her side underneath the light blue comforter in her bed in the corner.
At noon when Jo checked on her however, the diapered teen was clearly awake and noticed her strange (yet familiar) caretaker peering in the door.
“Hi Mrs. Miller.” her voice crackled dryly but with decent cheer.
“Hi Jordan, how’re you feeling?” Jen poked her head in the door as Jo responded.
“A little better I think…mostly groggy right now cuz I just woke up…I think I wanna take a bath or something…” Jordan started moving to roll out of bed.
“Right! Sounds like a good idea…” taking a step toward the teenager in bed Jo asked, “…um, so…so you uh….need…er….want…some help?”
Jordan felt embarrassed by the question – it was her best friend’s mom after all – and it felt awkward to have her in the house at all while she was still in bed wearing little more than a wet diaper. It had been one thing to have her mom helping with those intimate needs. It would be another thing entirely to have a friend’s mom do it. At the same time, she knew that getting into her own diaper herself was a challenge. And if she was still leaking urine, she’d need a diaper. But for the moment, the task was just getting her diaper off, something Jordan knew she could do herself.
“…well, I think I can handle it for now Mrs. Miller…I’ll let you know if I need some help.”
Somewhat relieved, Jo said “Ok,” and turned to leave.
Before she could get out the door however, the padded teenager rolled sideways in her bed and slipped out from under her bedspread and onto her knees on the wood floor. She was wearing just a soggy swollen purple diaper and a fitted t-shirt. Unable to keep from glancing down, Jo was more than a little shocked at the sight. She hadn’t expected a full-blown thick plastic backed diaper – and so full of pee! Rather, she assumed Jordan would be wearing something like what they show on TV: thin, with cloth like outer covers, and just slightly more discrete.
Jordan crawled to her feet, turned, offered an awkward half smile to Jo and crinkled past her toward the bathroom, saggy purple diaper almost touching her inner knees. Jo’s shoes clicked on the hardwood floor as she backed up giving the diapered teen way.
During this interaction Jen had walked down the hall to investigate. She hadn’t seen her sister openly in a diaper before and was wide eyed as Jordan rounded the corner from her room. Sally had gone out of her way to close and lock doors during changes and Jordan, in her more lucid states, had been sure to keep covered when out and about in the house.
“Jowwdie – whaiy weawing diiawpur?” She said confused.
Quickly, Jo responded – reminded of Sally’s instructions to keep Jen away from Jordan’s diapers and potential changes, “Oh Jen, your sister is just sick and so she has to wear a diaper for a day or two.”
“Owww Jowwdie’s sick – Jowwdie’s sick so she weaws diawpur.” Jen repeated.
Oops, I hope that sticks, thought Jo as the shower turned on behind the closed bathroom door. That could be bad for both to Jen’s potty training as well as Jordan’s secret staying a secret.
Several minutes later, Jo could hear Jordan calling for her from the bathroom. The shower had stopped running and steam was built up in the hallway. It smelled like shampoo. Jen was set up playing with Play-Doh in the living room, far away from any incriminating sights.
Knocking on the hollow painted door, Jo called out, “I’m here Jordan what’s up?”
“You can come in…” the voice called out.
As Jo cracked the door, a cloud of steam pushed out. The room was muggy, the mirror fogged, and the tile floor slick. Jordan, the teenage diaper-wearing bed-wetter, was sitting on the toilet with nothing more than a towel wrapped around her.
“Mrs. Miller it still hurts really really bad when I try to pee. And I can’t really get anything to come out when I try. But when I stand up like in the shower, it just kinda comes out on its own…”
“Oh dear…sounds like the infection isn’t quite over yet…”
“Yeah…” Jordan paused not wanting to say what she thought she needed to say. “An…an…And…I…I… think…I…I…think…I need a….a…”
The embarrassed girl simply couldn’t get it out in front of her best friend’s mom.
“It’s ok sweetie. It kinda seemed to me like you might need one still too. I’d say you definitely need to stay in bed in any case.” Jo smiled with compassion as Jordan looked down in shame. “Jordan would do you want to do it yourself…or are you trying to ask me for help?” Jo’s confidence had grown a bit after being called on for assistance and after seeing how ashamed of the whole thing she seemed to be.
“….y…uh…yeah….a….actually…I do need some help…” Jordan replied.
“Ok – so how does your mom usually…um…help you…like on your bed? Or in here on the floor? Or what?”
“…uh…well… on the bed is fine.”
“Alright well I’ll go out and wait in there. As soon as your ready is fine, but you might wanna act quick though, we wouldn’t want you to leak on the floor.” Jo cracked a small smile.
Jordan, still wrapped loosely in the towel, jumped up and made her way from the bathroom to her bedroom. Jo followed suit and remembering what Sally had said about Jordan’s diapers, slid open the mirrored closet door and rifled around in the closet until she found the bag of Molicare adult diapers. At the same moment, Jordan with her back to Jo and her towel now moved down around her waist fished out a clean t-shirt from her dresser. She was just slipping it over her head as the motherly babysitter turned holding Jordan’s diaper in her hand.
Their eyes met after which Jordan’s big hazel globes moved to the babyish garment. An awkward silence ensued.
“Are you ready sweetie?” Jo asked, “You sure you want help?” Trying to reassure her and offer an out.
“Yeah I’m ready; and yeah, I think I’d like you to do it Mrs. Miller.” She said with an almost undetectable shy smile.
They took a step toward the bed simultaneously and as Jordan neared the edge, she backed her rear up and laid back. With her legs hanging off the side, she (somewhat surprisingly for Jo) seemed to relax a bit; placing her hands at her side and laying her head back.
Approaching her more closely and reaching for the towel, Jo said “Ok Jordie honey, I’m gonna open up your towel ok?”
Jordan didn’t say a word or budge.
Hmm, ok then. Do I just…start? Jo thought feeling more than a little awkward.
She unwrapped the damp cotton towel and exposed Jordan below the waist. She sure looks juvenile lying here helpless like this; almost like her sister Jen.
Jo picked up the purple diaper she had set on the bed and gently unfolded it and examined it, orienting it correctly. Meanwhile, Jordan’s hazel eyes followed Jo, but slowly seemed to be losing their edge of embarrassment and fear. As the process edged on, she slowly appeared to becoming increasingly comfortable, which Jo found both calming herself as well as disquieting.
Jo found the side with the tapes and held it taught, sliding it toward Jordan’s rear end.
“Ok lift up your butt Jordan.”
She obeyed without moving her head.
Before taping, Jo noticed Jordan’s enflamed rashed diaper region and inner thighs, “Good-night Jordie! Your mom wasn’t kidding about this rash. You’re really raw down here. Doesn’t it hurt? Where is that cream you’re supposed to have?”
Momentarily, Jordan snapped out of her almost meditative state to point and say, “Oh, I think it’s there on my bed side table.”
Jo saw the tube and grabbed it. Clumsily, she squeezed out a small amount and quickly attempted to smear it on her daughter’s best friend’s privates while allowing as little skin-to-finger contact as possible. She felt quite awkward about the process. Wiping off her hand on the edge of Jordan’s towel, Jo said, “There, that’s better I think.”
Jordan didn’t respond but now turned her head to quietly look out toward her westward facing window. She very gently began rocking, more or less assuming her typical state of absent-minded day dreaming during diaper times with her mother. Jo couldn’t help but wonder, having witnessed the shift, if the teenage girl might be getting some kind of strange emotional support from the routine. She immediately dismissed the idea as unlikely however, arguing to herself that, she’s just completely exhausted and ready for this to be over with – that’s all.
The stand-in mom pulled Jordan’s diaper up and carefully taped each of the four tapes into place. To Jordan, it felt a little different than when her own mom did it – slightly less tight – but still good. Once snug and secure, she twisted into the right sleeping positing and bedded down, wet spot and all.
Jo bent down and kissed her forehead. “Alright Jordan dear, take a rest and feel better ok?”
“Ok. Thanks Mrs. Miller.” She whispered.
“No Problem Jordan.” She said as she walked toward the bedroom door.
“Mrs. Miller?” Jordan pepped up momentarily.
She turned and said, “Yeah honey?”
“You’re not gonna tell anyone about my diapers are you?”
Taking a few more steps back toward the cute (and slightly pathetic) tall teenage girl, Jo replied emphatically, “NO! Of course not! I’d never betray your trust sweetie.”
Jordan thought for a moment, “Oh. Thank-you Mrs. Miller….”
Jo turned to go once again.
“Um…Mrs. Miller?” Jordan called out another time.
“Yes?” Turning around again, she looked into Jordan’s Hazel eyes.
“Can I ask you something?”
Jo stepped back toward the girl’s bed.
She looked much younger and much more, well, at peace now that she was all tucked in. “I guess. Sure.” She said.
“In the hospital, the lady at the desk had a picture of this girl from school in a frame – Amber. Well, it was with the two of them together. I know it’s not Amber’s mom because I know what she looks like. But I think they’re like cousins or aunt and niece or something….”
“Uh huh…” Jo responded listening intently.
“Well the girl is like the meanest in Jr. High. She’s been one of the worst to me all year… What if her friend of aunt or family member (or whoever that was) tells? What if she gossips about me to the girl in school? She knows who I am and what school I go to and my church and everything – and she walked in on me getting changed and she knows why I was at the hospital…What if she tells Mrs. Miller?” Jordan started to cry.
Oh poor baby. Jo thought. She’s carrying this around like a giant weight on her shoulders.
Fear was in her voice and face. Jo could see it and hear it clearly. Taking another step closer and sitting down on the bed again, Jo said, “Oh Jordan dear, it sounds like you feel pretty afraid that people are gonna find out about your secret about the diapers huh?…”
“Uh huh.” She said honestly, sounding almost like a toddler.
“And what would happen if that took place? How would you feel?” Jo reflected back, trying to help Jordan work through some of the raw emotion.
“It’d be the worst thing ever! All the kids would hate me. My life would be over. I’d probably want to switch schools.”
“Yeah. And how would you feel about it?”
“Um…I don’t know?…Maybe embarrassed? Ashamed? Angry? A whole bunch of stuff I guess. That’s not the point though!…” The young girl didn’t realize that Jo was trying to get her to process at a more adult level.
“Well how do you think you’d make it through that if it happened? How would you cope?”
This made Jordan pause for a couple seconds. How would I cope? What the hell is she saying? What would I do? Where would I turn? I don’t know right now honestly! How am I even supposed to know?
“I don’t know…” She said trying to dismiss the line of questioning, still not understanding its importance, “but Mrs. Miller – what about that Rodgers lady from the ER? Can she just go around blabbing to everyone about me?” Jordan asked.
Jo decided to quit pressing her ‘agenda’, “Well, you know that Bob’s a doctor right?”
Jordan nodded.
“And so I hear about these kinds of things from time to time. A few years ago a law got passed that is called ‘HIPAA’; kind of sounds like hippo.” She smiled. “One of the things it says is that medical people can’t just go and share private things about you to their friends or family or else they can be fired or sued. It’s a really big deal Jordan and medical professionals take it very seriously.”
“…Oh…wow…”
Jo was rubbing Jordan’s arm and patting her hand, “I think it’s extremely unlikely that she would ever ‘blab’ about a patient because she would lose her job immediately and probably worse.”
Thinking about this for a moment Jordan then spoke, “But let’s say she did. You know, tell Nicole or something? She’d get punished, but Nicole could still tell everyone at school and that could never get taken back!”
“…Hmm…I guess you’re right honey…but I don’t think you should worry about that today…”
But she did – Anne Rodgers is gonna be my undoing I can FEEL it.
Jordan the diaper wearing seventh-grader writhed in fear under the weight of her ongoing illness.