Chapter 21 – [January 18, 2002]
At school on Thursday, Jordan was terrified she would be found out by her smell alone. To the teen’s surprise, Sally had insisted that morning on smearing Desitin cream on her still brightly red-rashed diaper region after showering.
“Jordan you need to put this cream on during the day so we can get this thing cleared up. It’s hardly looking any better!” Sally had said as Jordan stood looking in the mirror, towel wrapped around her tall slender body under her armpits and a second wrapped around her brown hair.
“Moom! I already smell like Jen in the morning when I get up. Now you want me to wear it all day too?” She complained.
“Jordie – we’re getting rid of this rash for better or worse! Doesn’t it hurt you anyways? It’d sure bother me!” Sally paused. “Now you can either put it on yourself or get over here, bend over, and I’ll do it for you!”
Diapers were one thing. But having her mother manage all her perineal care was another thing entirely.
I guess I’ll be wearing white panties today then. She had thought as she snatched the tube from her mom and pushed the bathroom door closed.
Everywhere the seventh-grade girl walked that day in the concrete-floored and raw wood beamed halls of BCS, she smelled whiffs of her Desitin.
MY DESITIN!! She thought embarrassed. Although she had grown to appreciate the odor during diaper times at night, she hated how it lingered all day. In fact, when Alex pulled her aside during lunch, she was positive the conversation was going to be about that very thing – Jordan cringed in expectation of a comment…
“Jordan!! Are you ok? You’ve been gone for like a week! What happened!?” Alex exclaimed in a hushed voice.
Jo Miller had decided not to tell her daughter about the temporary daytime babysitting gig that week. She had wanted Jordan to maintain as much privacy and dignity as possible. If she wants to tell Alex about it, that’s her prerogative, I’m not gonna break any rapport I’ve built. She had thought to herself.
As a consequence, Jordan’s absence from school was a mystery to Alex much like her own mother’s daily activities always were.
Jordan proceeded to briefly describe the previous day’s medical fiasco (other than Jo’s medical care). Alex was surprised but able to intuitively see the connection between Jordan’s bedwetting and the UTI turned bladder infection – the tall girl telling the story didn’t volunteer a detailed explanation.
“We need to talk about this Saturday night,” Alex said changing the subject and referring to her slumber party.
“Oh.” Jordan’s face fell.
“Well you know how I told you my mom said I could have it at my house because my Dad is still at treatment?”
“Yeah…”
“Well I…I’ve never had one before you know…and…um…well…I wanna kind of have a big one…”
“…ok…” Jordan replied with a little more suspicion in her voice.
“So I…well…I…um…my mom and I….decided to invite ALL the girls in Jr. High…”
“WHAT!?! Alex!! What the hell?” Jordan was immediately terrified of her arch enemies Amber and Nicole.
“I know Jordan – I knew you wouldn’t be thrilled about this but…I didn’t want anyone to feel left out and there was no other good way to do it… And…you know…it’s not something…I’ve never gotten to do this before…my dad is so crazy…,” she started to tear up, “this might be my one chance…”
Jordan looked at her incredulously. Arms crossed across her blouse and necktie.
“…I just wanna have a big dance party with music and lots of people and food…your style is different…this is what I want for my birthday…”
Not knowing what to say, Jordan still just stood there looking at her. Scared and disappointed and angry.
“…will you still please come? I know you’d rather have a small group like your party…I know some people will come that are mean to you and that you don’t like…but will you come? For me?” Alex looked her in the eyes.
Through clenched teeth, arms still crossed Jordan responded, “Yes.”
Immediately the much shorter Alex lunged for the tall girl and grabbed her in a full body hug around the waist and chest. “Thank you!!!” she exclaimed.
Jordan staggered back a couple steps into the wall and awkwardly held up her hands, not really knowing what to do with them at first and then patting Alex’ back before she finally let go.
“I don’t know what I’m gonna do about…you know what…though?” She whispered and glanced down toward her pleated school uniform skirt. “Where will everyone be sleeping? What if I…?”
“Well I’m not sure Jordie…not everyone will stay probably. But most of us will sleep on the floor up in the second living room above the garage.” Jordan knew the room. It was a large open space with only a couple couches and a large screen TV and a piece or two of exercise equipment.
“What about my…how will I…?” Jordan was extremely concerned about her wetting, diapers, and the logistics of what would happen.
“…I…um…I’m not sure…” Alex paused, “at your birthday that night I was trying to ask you, does your mom always do it for you…I mean, put them on? I mean…can’t you…do it yourself?” She kind of smirked at that.
Jordan smiled back a tiny bit thinking back about the shame of Alex walking in on her getting a diaper change, the distance of a few weeks had worn a bit of the humiliation off of it. “Well…um…she usually does it…I…uh…,” thinking about the weekend at her Dad’s house, “…because…I….kinda…uh…leak if I do it…myself…”
The tall girl looked down at her feet. Embarrassed.
“Jordan! Relax! I’m your best friend remember? Don’t get like that. I’m not gonna judge you. I’m just trying to help.”
Jordan nodded quickly and Alex thought for a moment in the silence, “…well didn’t you wear those good-night panties for a while…? Why can’t you wear one of those for the party? You…you can put those on yourself…right?”
Thinking back on the earlier days of her wetting ‘career’ she said, “…oh…um… yeah…but those leaked almost always too…even worse actually…that’s why my mom got the….,” she could hardly say the word, “d…d…diapers”.
“…Hmmm…” Alex thought some more. “Well what if my mom helped you with it?” It was almost a throw away suggestion; one that Alex didn’t expect an affirmative response from.
Immediately Jordan’s mind flashed to the events of the previous two days – the way that Mrs. Miller had awkwardly at first, and then more naturally eventually cared for her diaper needs.
She must’ve not told Alex what she was doing all day Tuesday and Wednesday. Jordan thought as her trust and fondness for Mrs. Miller grew. Maybe she could?
“…Oh…hmmm…well…Maybe she could do it…I guess…” Jordan’s frown rose the tiniest bit and she looked up.
Alex was more than a little surprised by her friend’s agreement to that suggestion. She had expected a dismissal. “Really!? Well I can ask her about it I guess…it might be kinda weird Jordan…”
“…oh yeah…that is…if she’s ok with it….” Jordan recovered worried she might’ve given the secret she and Mrs. Miller shared away and then paused, “…but how will I get into bed without everyone hearing…it?”
Alex thought for a second, “Well, what if—-”
Just as she was about to lie out her plan, the bell rang for the next class and it was chaos in the lunch hall.
“Let’s talk later!” The birthday girl hollered over the drum of the masses.
[January 20, 2002]
They never did have the conversation – but on Saturday night just 2 days later, Jordan arrived at Alex’s heavy double front doors; sleeping bag in one hand with a pillow under her arm, and a duffel bag with it’s concealed cargo hidden deep inside. The tall teenage brunette was cheery and acted enthusiastic about her arrival: the first friend of the crowds to come.
It did end up being a crowd too; about 35 girls from the 7th & 8th grade classes from BCS as well as some others from Alex & Jordan’s church showed up to the party. The cloud of teen spirit danced joyfully together to music in the large tiled entryway atrium under the 80’s vintage brass chandelier, a large group squeezed the majority of the water out of the Miller’s hot tub on the back deck, others baked cookies and decorated them, while another group did makeovers in the large master bathroom upstairs.
Later in the evening, the gaggle watched “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” which had just been released on DVD that winter. In the small church community, the Harry Potter books (and movie) had been somewhat controversial because of their themes of witchcraft. Some of the girls (who’s parents had instructed them to avoid such material) quietly dismissed themselves from the film and made their way to Alex’s bedroom to sit and talk. Although Jordan’s parents didn’t keep her from seeing or reading Harry Potter (she had a poster of the Wizard on her wall for that matter!), she had already seen the film twice in the theatre and wasn’t interested in sitting through it another time, so at 11 O’clock at night, she found herself in Alex’s room with an odd group of 9 girls that unfortunately included both Amber and Nicole.
The girls gossiped about their teachers, boys, and their youth group leaders. They told funny stories and jokes about nonsense and nothing and laughed and laughed and laughed. Jordan felt herself even wondering if she could one day become friends with the two older girls who had tormented her so much earlier in the year.
Then it happened.
Looking around the room aiming for everyone’s attention, Amber said, “Hey you guys, guess what I heard from Ed Jones?”
“Ed who?” another girl named Maggie piped up, a little too enthusiastic to hear the story.
“You know? Ed. That ADHD kid who’s always in trouble and has to stay after school for detention? I think he’s a 6th grader or something.”
A smattering of nods responded around the circle of girls sitting on Alex’s pink bedspread adorned bed and fluffy white carpet floor.
“Why were you talking to him?” Maggie asked again almost interrupting, and giggled.
“Listen do you want me to tell the story or not?” Amber snipped her off, not wanting to get into the details of why she had been in the principal’s office herself.
The group was quickly put back on edge – Amber is still in charge. Of course.
“Well – ” she smiled, not really knowing what reaction telling her story would bring, but hoping for a confirmation that her theory about Ed’s little story was correct, she bagan. “Back before Christmas break, Ed told me he was in detention one day. Big deal right? He’s always there after school. Well – he was there this day and it was raining outside. He likes the smell of the rain so he was sitting sort of close to the window. Then he heard voices outside talking.”
Amber was an expert storyteller and the faces of her peers around her were dialed in to the next turn.
“The voices were of a couple girls; might’ve been three he said but he couldn’t tell for sure. He was sure they were either in Jr. High or High School – definitely not in his grade or younger.”
The girls in the circle nodded – including Jordan.
“Anyways, one of the voices was really stressed out about having been invited to some kind of party.” The master tactician decided to leave out the most incriminating details until later as she and Nicole had planned. She wanted to try to glean some more information if possible from Jordan without specifically spreading the rumor just yet.
“Well, according to Ed and what he heard, apparently this girl didn’t want to go to the sleepover party because she still pees her little girl panties at night when she sleeps.”
At this the whole room burst into laughter with each of the girls breaking into side jokes and mockery about such an old girl wetting her bed. Each of them that is, except Jordan.
She first reacted by freezing. Then, quickly recovering into feigned laughter and merrymaking, she tried to act just like the rest of the group.
During the chaos after the punch line, unbeknownst to Jordan, Amber had watched her ‘mark’ carefully for just such a reaction. She thought she had seen stress and worry on the 7th grade giant’s face rather than genuine mirth but wasn’t entirely sure.
Well, let’s see how she reacts to this.
“And that’s not all!” Amber shouted, jumping back into leadership of the conversation, grasping for attention once again.
“The girl who didn’t want to go told her friend about how she wears baby’s pull-ups to bed!! You know those baby diaper pants with cartoon characters on them?”
The group fully fell into barrels of laughter at this tidbit; joking and carousing and gesturing all the more. They began theorizing as to who the mystery diaper pee-er might be. As that was happening, Amber stared at Jordan willing her to respond in a way that would confirm she was in fact the girl.
Unfortunately for Jordan, she had done just that. The moment pull-ups were mentioned, her face turned beet-red and she began to sweat slightly around the edge of her hairline. She continued to smile and laugh, trying to appear as though she was joking with the rest of the group, but for Amber who was watching for a reaction, the evidence was far too obvious to ignore.
As another girl took the storytelling lead and the conversation moved elsewhere, the eyes of the two girls met and Jordan immediately knew that what Amber had done was intentional.
She looked at the bully pleadingly and with great anxiety.
Seeing the fear in Jordan’s eyes, Amber was beyond convinced.
I’ve got you now Twiggy, Amber thought, it’s only a matter of time. She smiled demurely with a hint of poison underneath.