Chapter 41 – [Friday, May 3, 2002]
A couple weeks went by and the sense of weight Jordan felt on her shoulders remained. Sure, her Mom seemed to calm down a bit and was able to cope with life again following the court hearing: for instance, she had fairly rapidly regained her ability to interact interact with Jordan and her sisters on a coherent level and had resumed leadership of the household affairs). But it was clear that the ‘Mom’ that Jordan had come to know over the fall and winter of her seventh grade year had gone away — and only a shell of that person remained. It wasn’t as though the girl had been literally completely abandoned or was on her own in the world, but the starkness of her mother’s shift along with the ongoing questions regarding her father’s status brought out those feelings none-the-less.
To make matters worse, Sally had regressed to verbalizing her disdain and judgment for Ted in front of all three of her daughters. While heretofore in their separation process, she had been outwardly supportive and relatively positive of Ted, Jordan had noticed over the past several weeks that her Mom’s speech had taken dark turn. She couldn’t help but notice how this had interestingly coincided with the potential relational resurgence of her relationship with her Dad. Entirely mixed up and confused, the seventh grader chose to get together with him again despite the apparent tension it was causing in her home.
On that Friday afternoon, the two of them met for lunch and one of the interesting things about it was that this was in fact the first time she could ever remember doing something like it with him before. She liked it a great deal. The young teenager couldn’t help but wonder if he might be in the middle of making the kinds of changes her friend Alex’s Dad had made earlier that year as he successfully went through treatment for his alcoholism. Although she was naive, she also had seen enough to know what glimmers of hope looked like.
Sitting across from her Dad at a downtown Asian restaurant that specialized in an amazing noodle soup from Vietnam, Jordan talked as he asked her questions about school, friends, and home. In some respects, he seemed like a whole new person; composed, ‘present’, seemingly interested, and calm. Just as she had perceived him to be weeks earlier when he had apologized for not standing up for her, Jordan sensed skepticism rising in herself at this change. Yet she also couldn’t help herself. He seemed to genuine.
Is this too good to be true? How can I bounce back and forth between parents like this? It feels so weird. She thought to herself as Ted asked her if she was working on a new story.
Just as with the innocuous question she had fielded recently from Alex, Jordan initially reacted demurely but then eventually explained to him her excitement about the new book project, its subject, plot, and her progress on it thus far (she had actually already completed a solid draft of over half of her initial plan). He listened intently and asked several followup questions indicating his interest. In fact, he even encouraged her saying he thought it might be something she could try to publish.
She smiled brightly with great hope and anticipation.
Ted also asked if she had any ‘love’ interests or prospects.
Blushing, Jordan couldn’t help but give away the truth. It was an awkward thing for any thirteen year old to have to answer or talk about in front of her Daddy.
“Who is it?” he asked in a feigned scold, tipping his head and raising an eyebrow; blue eyes slicing through her.
Jordan looked down, embarrassed but strangely proud. She was as normal as any teenager might be testing the waters of her first real dating relationship.
“His name’s Joey.” She said.
“Joey what?” Ted replied in the same tone.
“Joey…Michael?” She replied almost as if it was a question.
“Our neighbors? Isn’t he super good at basketball and stuff? Wow Jordan!” He smiled with a genuinely affirmative sounding tone, “Good for you sweetie. What’s he like?”
As she talked about Joey: the way he laughed and his outgoing nature, the way he stuck up for her around the bullies at school, and the way he liked to just ‘hang out and have fun’, her eyes glazed over in happiness and pure ‘puppy-love’.
He smiled affirmatively but also clearly had additional things on his mind. “So…this might be kinda weird coming from your Dad. But…have you thought about the physical side of dating much?”
It was an even more awkward question for each of them. But Ted, feeling the need to be a responsible Dad and not knowing what Sally had or hadn’t done in terms of education in that area since he had been out of the house, proceeded. “I…I…mean. Boys sometimes aren’t as good at…controlling…themselves…and…I just wanna make sure you have some kind of plan in mind…”
That wasn’t the best choice of words was it? He thought. And I’m probably not the best example either! Ugh.
Jordan let the obvious example of hypocrisy go — focusing almost solely on the fact that it was pretty terrible luck to have to have a second such ‘talk’ in less than a month. “Yeah I know Dad. Mom and I had this big talk about it a couple weeks ago. I’m not gonna get pregnant if that’s what you’re asking.”
Slightly relieved that Sally had been ‘on it’, Ted responded a little defensively and backed off. “Ok, ok, ok. I’m not trying to force the conversation on you here Jordan — especially if you don’t want it. I just want you to make good, informed, decisions with your body…and if talking about it some more with me would be helpful, I’m happy to talk… I want you to know that you don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing…with your body…? You know that right?”
She nodded.
He decided to just continue. “And if a boy tries to make you feel like you have to do something to earn his affection — that’s — well…lemme lay it on the line Jordan. That’s bullshit.”
It was weird for Jordan, hearing her Dad swear casually — when he was not even angry.
He continued, “Anyone who tries to manipulate you like that isn’t good enough for you. They’ll respect your boundaries and have boundaries of their own besides.”
She nodded again, slightly uncomfortable with his serious tone all of a sudden.
“But one more thing Jordan — if you do do something — maybe something that you regret? Whether it’s with Joey or whoever. Remember that your parents love you no matter what ok? There’s nothing you can do to make us love you less. Nothing alright? Sure, we give you all this advice and stuff but no one lives life perfectly.”
Uh oh, here I go again. He thought. I’m not really the person to be making this speech am I?
“…If you screw up and do something you regret, I want you to know that you can come and talk to me or your Mom and we’ll help you get out of it. Please don’t keep it a secret ok honey?” He looked her in the eyes.
Again, her head bobbed up and down as she took a big slurp of noodles.
Satisfied, Ted changed the subject and the mood lightened. “So what about Camp then? Are you all set? Is Joey going?”
Her heart pounded immediately. As far as she knew, her Dad had yet to pay a dime for camp even though he had agreed to it supposedly.
I guess I might as well talk to him about it, we’ll see how deep this change actually is.
She nodded and said, “Well…it’s good. I’m all applied and accepted and everything…but…” She paused, not knowing how to confront him on this missed detail.
“But what?”
“Well…Mom said you were gonna take care of the bill…and…well…it’s almost past due.” She said carefully but fearfully.
Ted felt guilty again immediately. Sally had mentioned it to him back at the beginning of April and around Christmas, he had promised to take care of it, but with all the stress of the divorce and work, it had slipped his mind. “Oh really? I’ll be sure to get that done on Monday ok sweetie? Your mom is right. I just forgot. I’m sorry about that.”
Jordan felt both happily surprised and skeptical at the same time. Hmmm. I guess that might explain it…but time will tell if he actually gets it done.
“Are you…um…still having your…nighttime problem?” He asked delicately, concerned to know how that was going to be managed in the camp environment.
“…Um…yeah…most nights still…why?” she asked feeling self-conscious again.
“Well…we were just talking about camp and I wondered…you know…how that was gonna go…up there…? Are you worried about it at all?” He asked with a sense of empathy in his voice.
“Yeah, I’m nervous but…I guess…there are other kids like me that go to camp…and the cabins are all divided into these little cubby-room things so it’s sort of private in a way. Alex and I are gonna be sharing one and she knows so…maybe it won’t be a big deal…?”
“Oh…well yeah…sounds like you’ve got a good plan…” he replied.
She nodded quickly, slurping another mouthful of noodles and waiting for her Dad to direct the conversation further. But he remained silent as well, digging into his own food as well. Jordan’s mind flashed to the blackmail and what he had done to Mr. Johns and she felt more confident than ever about confronting him about it.
“So — I know about what happened with the board — Mr. Johns told me…” She said, trying to open the subject casually.
“Oh?”
I should’ve known, what the hell is wrong with that guy? Spreading that kind of political hogwash’s to my daughter? She’s got no chance but to get jaded with the church. Ted’s mind turned rapidly.
“Yeah.”
“And?” he asked.
“Well. I’m just wondering why you had to put Mr. Johns in that position? I mean, I honestly don’t really know what to think right now. But when he first told me, I was super mad at him for not just letting you get fired because it seemed like you deserved it for…for…everything…” She grew silent for a minute, feeling subconscious for giving away her judgment and anger at her dad so easily.
“Yes. I guess I can see that. But sometimes people have changes of mind you know?” He said innocently, still not knowing about TJ Yates’ blackmail move on Mr. Johns to manipulate the situation.
“What the hell are you saying Dad?” She asked incredulously.
“Watch your mouth Jordan.” He scolded.
“What? I get yelled at for saying a vegetarian cuss word but you don’t have to be held responsible for blackmailing my favorite teacher?”
A jolt shot through Ted like lightening. Blackmail? What the hell is she talking about? Her favorite teacher? Mr. Johns? What?
“Jordan, blackmail? What are you talking about?” he asked honestly.
She stared back with incredulity. Lips pursed.
“Seriously Jordan.” His eyes widened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. But you’re obviously pretty worked up about it. Please. Would you explain further? How exactly do you think I blackmailed anyone? And how do you even know that word?”
“Don’t play dumb with me Dad. Mr. Johns told me everything. How you threatened him that if he didn’t sway the vote to let you keep your job, you’d make sure he and his wife were fired. If that’s not blackmail, I don’t know what is. How could you do something like that?”
Ted was in shock. He had (dumbly) assumed that Mr. Johns had simply had a genuine change of heart, not been manipulated into doing what he did.
How can this possibly be true? What is she saying? He thought.
“Jordan…I…Lemme get this straight…I…I honestly haven’t ever heard this before…”
“Dad. Please.” She looked at him with condescension. “Just tell the truth.”
“Jordan. Dear. Listen—”
“No. You listen Dad. I want you to be honest with me. You just made this big speech about trusting you and coming to you if I have sex or get pregnant or something… How can I do that if you don’t tell me the truth about this?” She felt her confidence rise and her own voice sounded older to her than its age. She felt proud of how she was standing up for herself.
“Jordan. I’m telling you the truth.” He looked at her once again in the eyes. “I screwed up royally with you and your mom and you sisters. I got together Melissa which was idiotic. I spend too much time at work. I wasn’t there for you. I own all that — truly. I wish I could fix it all. I was selfish and wrong and I probably still am and will be in some ways. I feel horrible about it. And maybe the worst part about all of it is that I know I can’t make everything better… But whatever you’re saying about blackmail? I honestly don’t know what you’re trying to tell me. And I honestly am asking you to explain what you heard because I want to get to the bottom of it…Seriously. Please.”
She didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t believe him yet he seemed genuinely confused.
This is so hard. Why do I have to be in the middle of it? Why can’t I just be a normal girl with a normal family and a normal Dad who’s interested in her life? Why do I have to have all this crazy stuff happening all the time?
But his gaze was intent, unwavering, clear. Finally, she opened her mouth and the whole story she had received from Mr. Johns in the hospital came flooding out. Ted appeared to be in shock and fully blown away by the revelation.
“So who was it? Who delivered the message?” He asked.
“I dunno Dad. Mr. Johns wouldn’t tell me. He said it would be gossip and it would hurt me to know.”
“Yates.” Ted muttered almost to himself. “It had to have ben Yates.” He felt pissed for being outmaneuvered yet again.
“Georgia’s Dad? What are you talking about? Why would—”
“It’s fine Jordan. Don’t worry about it. And you got the impression from Mr. Johns that he was really conflicted by this decision? Like he really thought that if he followed through, he’d lose his job as well?”
“Yeah. Totally. He and his wife both. I mean, after telling me all that, I’m kinda surprised they even took me on the trip in the first place… You’re sort of the enemy in their eyes now.” She said.
“Wow. So he let me off the hook. He threw the vote on purpose. I can hardly believe it. But I do…I do…I can see it all now.” He said almost to himself before delving into silence, thinking and chewing.
“Dad?” Jordan finally said. “Can we — like — talk about something else?” She was taken completely off guard by the whole interaction and she didn’t know how to respond or to take it.
Could Dad have possibly not known about all this? Really? Is there any way that could happen? Is he more innocent than I’ve been giving him credit for?
The two finished up their meal and by mid-afternoon, Jordan’s sisters joined the pair for an evening of fun and another meal out. Nothing more was spoken of it that night.
————————————
Nicole and Amber had lunch out at Taco bell with Amber’s mother that Friday afternoon. The two spent a good deal of the meal commiserating about their complete lack of opportunity to divulge what they considered to be a huge and shameful secret about their most hated threat: Jordan Reynolds. With only a couple more weeks of school left, both were coming to the realization that they didn’t have the wherewithal to hatch their scheme before it was all over.
“I’m just so pissed we didn’t get it done Amber. Like it feels like we wussed out or something. We have this juicy dirt and we didn’t use it.” She took a drink of her Mtn. Dew.
“It’s like we talked about before Nikki, there’d be no point. No one would believe it. Especially now. She’s like the most popular kid in Jr. High. They’d see right through us. Besides, we’ve made her life miserable in other ways.”
The two smiled devilishly at each other as both of their minds immediately went to the cafeteria incident. Amber and Nicole had taken to the habit of ‘accidentally spilling’ things on Jordan ever since spring break. One time in the girls’ locker room, Amber had spilled almost an entire bottle of water on the unsuspecting girl. At other moments, they had ‘tripped’ and dumped things on her feet and legs or desk during classes. But the previous Friday, Amber had shaken salt packets in Jordan’s hair in the cafeteria. That time however, Joey had noticed and slammed his fist down on the table and yelled “stop!” At that Amber had replied, “Fine!” in as snotty of tone as possible and flung the salt shaker over her shoulder. It had landed perfectly in Jordan’s milk, splashing and spilling it all over her tray and destroying her lunch. It was perfect and the visit to detention had been worth it.
Amber continued trying to redirect the conversation a bit, “Let’s just try to have fun with the rest of our year. We’re graduating 8th grade. That’s kind of a big deal. That stupid tall tree will be around to bug next year.”
“But if we at least do something, it’s better than nothing! I mean, we can’t use it next year…we won’t even be in the same part of the school, w’ere moving up to 9th grade remember?”
“I think we need to spring it on her at camp this summer. We’re all gonna be there at the same time. And maybe we find some ‘evidence’ in her cabin or something? I mean, everyone is living so close together; a rumor like that would fly like wildfire. Just be patient Nicole. Trust me. We’re still in control here.” She daintily took a bite of her food, careful not to mess up her perfect makeup.
“Hmm. Camp. I like that idea. Maybe that’d be a better place anyways.” The two friends smiled at each other deviously once more.