Chapter 50 – [Monday, July 1, 2002]
It was Monday before either Emma Smart or the cheap-ass lawyer Roger Johnson finally phoned Sally back. Because it was summertime, each of them took shorter schedules on Fridays and phone messages were on the back burners of their lives in general. Luckily for everyone involved, Sally had refrained from calling the police or filing a missing person’s report for her daughter who was ‘held’ over at her estranged husband’s apartment. She had, however, called Camp White Pines and ‘bit the head off’ of every person she could get on the other end of the line for allowing her daughter to leave with her father. The various administrators and directors who had passed the phone around to receive her fury had understood the family was in the midst of a divorce and presented a tough home situation. They also knew that without an explicit court order (which they didn’t have) the camp couldn’t get in the middle of a parental custody dispute.
When Roger Johnson got ahold of Sally at work Monday morning, the day before the final divorce court hearing, he did all he could to calm her, reminding her that Ted was Jordan’s father and that he had every right to go pick her up from camp. He had gone on to say that until custody rights were determined by the court, Ted was well within his legal jurisdiction to do what he had done. “You two have never come up with a parenting plan in your legal separation Sally — there’s nothing in writing that says he can’t do what he did. You need to relax.”
Emma Smart had echoed a smiler sentiment before Sally had blown up at her over the phone, “But how can he keep me from seeing my daughter?! He’s had her all weekend and hasn’t allowed me to have access to her at all!”
“Listen Sally, you and I both know that tomorrow at court, the judge is gonna ask Jordan where she’d like to primarily live once the divorce is finalized. She will have the right to give her opinion: Ted’s house or yours.” The social worker paused to let the reminder sink in. She was pretty sure Sally knew that her daughter would have input, but she figured that the information could’ve been lost in her state of anger. “After tomorrow, she could be living at Ted’s place permanently so I think you just need to take a breather. Ok? What he did isn’t illegal. And besides, choosing not to talk with you given the way you’re behaving right now isn’t illegal either! In fact, I think it’s probably pretty reasonable.”
Sally was speechless by the rebuke. But of course the social worker was correct. She would be in court the next day and Jordan would have a voice to offer. And that was a new fear added to Sally’s plate of anxiety stir-fry.
Why didn’t I just let Jordan come home when she asked? It wasn’t that crazy of a request really… She was gonna have to be here for this anyways…maybe I should’ve let her come for the weekend or something… Now what’ll I do if I don’t get to stitch up things with her before then? What if she chooses to live with Ted instead of me? What if he breaks our family up even more!? What if he tricks her and draws her away from me? The mother of three stewed in inner turmoil.
———————
Ted felt bad that he didn’t have a real ‘place’ for Jordan to be during the daytime hours once the week started again and actually had apologized to her that she’d have to hang out at the office. They went out for a late breakfast that Monday morning at a cute french cafe with bakery that had fancy rolls and croissants and fantastic hot drinks — Jordan got hot chocolate with a bacon wrapped flaky pastry.
“So we need to talk about a few things before the day gets away from us Jordan. Ok?”
Because of her year-long anxiety about diapers and because of their tense an awkward new arrangement involving them beginning the previous Thursday evening, she felt fear that it had something to do with that subject. Every night since she had been staying at his house, he had been helping her get ready for bed just as Sally had once done. To her happiness, he had incrementally been getting better and better at the motherly task. Jordan’ appreciation for his careful attention was so great that she didn’t want to do anything to spoil it.
“Um…ok?…what about…?”
“Not about that. Alright? Just relax.” He could see right through his teenage daughter who still so clearly resembled his little girl from a decade ago.
“Tomorrow is the final hearing for the divorce Jordan. Do you know what that means?”
She vaguely remembered the social worker telling her at one point about something she’d have to do in court at one point, but she couldn’t exactly recall the details. She nodded slightly, trying to act mature. Inside, she felt afraid and sad.
So this is really the end then huh? She thought. They’re really not gonna be getting back together…? It’s all over? Even though Melissa is gone…
“Well, I’m gonna tell you a little bit anyways, just in case you don’t know everything…ok?” Not waiting for a response, he continued, “Well, sometimes when people get divorced, they’re able to work everything out between one another and then the judge just signs off on it. Unfortunately, your Mom and I weren’t able to do that and agree on everything…I think you’ve probably noticed that it’s been pretty tense between us?”
She nodded an affirmation.
“I did some bad things Jordan. I really did. I said some bad stuff; and so did she. Melissa did some bad stuff too actually — that’s why that lady’s been coming to see you and visiting your house and everything. It isn’t good sweetie. We’re not sure what’s gonna happen actually. I feel really bad about this because it wasn’t what I wanted at all, but things just got out of control.” He looked her in the eyes and said, “I’m really sorry Jordie. I screwed up bad. I wish I could fix it all…but there’s some stuff that just can’t go back to how it was…”
She couldn’t help but release a tear from the corner of her eye. Speechless, she stared back at him.
“I want you to hear me Jordan. I did a lot of stupid things. I did. I want you to know too that I think your mom did as well…I don’t think her anger right now is helping anyone at all — her the least. I really want to be able to get along with her but I can’t talk with her if she berates me and screams at me. I won’t put myself through that kind of treatment anymore. Now…this is probably too much for me to be telling you and I’m going to be quiet right away…it’s not your burden to bear, ok?”
She nodded again.
“But this is the thing, tomorrow at court, anything could happen. And that means that you and your sisters could end up living primarily with me.” He raised his eyebrows and looked for a response.
The teenager looked back in shock. “What? With you? How—”
“Jordan. I’m not saying that’s gonna happen but the judge could decide anything. I mean, your mom has been accused of some bad stuff — I don’t think she did any of it personally and I don’t think it’s gonna stick…But if it does, you all could end up over here for a while…”
Jordan looked alarmed and surprised but still didn’t speak, simply twisting her hot chocolate in her hands.
“Another piece of this is that you’re gonna be there — in the court room. And at one point she’s gonna be asking you what you think; what you wanna do.”
“ME? What? The judge? Dad! Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?”
“Jordan, I’m pretty sure you’ve been told before…but but I’m telling you again about it now…the social worker, Ms. Smart, she called earlier this morning and wants to meet with you this afternoon to talk about it some more as well.”
“Dad. This is insane. What are you…I’ve never…I mean…” the young girl was overwhelmed by the very idea of the shift in living location. When it had come up in conversation the last time, she hadn’t taken it seriously and so the information had quickly slipped her mind. But now that it was a real possibility — the very idea was shocking. To stay with her dad for a few nights respite was one thing, but to choose it permanently was something entirely different.
The very concept of moving out or being away was foreign. Yet at the same time, it had a strange and comforting allure. The fact that her Dad had been so gentle, forthright, and caring with her over the past several days (and really over the past couple months) had really grown on her — and in some ways she had come to see him as a ‘break’ from her Mom who had seemingly become a religious zealot. Jordan thought about what it might be like if only she moved in with her Dad (but not her sisters); how sad it would be to not see them grow up from day to day. But then she thought about how much they had come to resent her for the way their Mom had focused attention on her over the past year. She thought about the girls in her neighborhood and how, if her Dad continued to live in the city, she might not have to see them as much (which was positive given all the diaper craziness having been revealed at camp).
Ted began talking as she thought, “Listen honey, I’m not telling you this to persuade you or put pressure on you or something right now. I want you to do whatever you want to do and honestly, I’ve never even really thought that you might want to stay with me (I mean, permanently)…until this weekend…I mean, it’s been kind of a hard year you know? And…well…anyways…I just want you to know that if you want to stay at my house for a little while or a long time it’s absolutely ok with me. But if you want to keep things how they’ve been and stay with your Mom, don’t you worry about me being upset or anything… All I wanted to tell you is that this is gonna happen tomorrow and I think you should spend some time thinking about it today…”
She nodded, unable to think of any other response, she said, “Thanks Dad.”
The rest of their breakfast had been somewhat awkward after the difficult and pointed conversation on such a heavy topic. Jordan’s mind churned and churned and churned, unable to flip off for the life of her. The rapid neural activity continued all afternoon through Emma’s visit at the Hope Seattle office. The social worker gave Jordan more context and confidence about what the courtroom experience would be like — she also helped her think more slowly about the implications of her request to the court. Emma talked with her about visitations, about the concept of custody, and also that she could change her mind one way or the other at any point along the way. Nothing was set in stone.
———
By the time bedtime rolled around, Jordan’s anxiety level had fallen drastically and she felt increasingly prepared for her day ahead. A soft diaper wrapped around her adult-sized frame was the added security that topped everything off in order to lead her to a state of calm confidence.
“You know Dad, if I end up staying with you for a while, you’re gonna have to get a place where I can have my own room…I can’t just have suitcases out lying around with a bags of diapers on the floor.” She glanced over at her clothes surrounding the last remaining sealed bag of diapers and a few singles laying not top of it.
Feeling anxiety himself now about the apparent, very real possibility, Ted said, “Yeah. That’s true dear. Are you thinking you want to do that?…I mean…stay with me…?”
“I’m not sure Dad.” She smiled at him, laying back in her couch-bed and pulling a sheet up loosely over her pajama’ed frame. “But maybe.”
“Hmm…wow…well we’ll see what the judge says tomorrow I guess…” Ted said. He started to get up when he remembered another detail he had forgotten. “Oh Jordan, I wanted to tell you. I talked with my lawyer a little bit about that other thing — involving the lady from the hospital…?”
“…Oh…yeah?”
“And…well he thinks we have grounds to file a civil suit against the nurse as well as the hospital; and potentially we’ll get some compensation for you.”
“Compensation?”
“Money. Jordan.”
“Oh. Well. How is that gonna help anything?”
“Well…it won’t directly…and that’s why I wanna ask you about this before I move forward with anything. With these kinds of situations, there’s no criminal law that has been broken. You know? The lady that spread those things about you can’t go to jail or whatever for that. And of course the things that she spread can’t get taken back. Like — the kids that know what they know are always gonna know it.”
She looked down and felt afraid.
“That’s part of the pain of this thing….that’s why it’s such a big deal. But the way the nurse gets held accountable for this is through a civil lawsuit. If we won a court case like that, she’d almost certainly get fired, and she or the hospital would probably have to pay you some money. It could be used for college in the future or maybe even paying for homeschool if you decided to quit going to BCS because the drama was too great…or even if you chose to stay home to write more books or something. It’s to give you options because her choice caused you real loss…”
All the legal mumbo jumbo didn’t quite stick in Jordan’s brain, especially so late at night and especially after such long and stressful day with so many big decisions to figure out. She didn’t really want to have to make another one but this seemed to be her plight. “Hmm…well, I guess it sounds ok. Maybe we should go after her…”
“Are you sure? Maybe you should sleep on it dear.” He replied, surprised by her decisiveness.
“Yes. I’m sure actually. I don’t want her to get away with it.”
“Ok sweetie. I don’t want to promise you anything. And Of course I haven’t talked with your mom in in several days — she probably needs to be able to give her opinion on this too. So I’ll keep working on it and let you know how things go. But I just wanted to make sure you were alright with it before I spent much more time…If at some point you wanna stop. We can. Ok?”
“Thanks dad.” She smiled. HIs care and concern was notable and different than she had ever appreciated before. Where did this man come from? He’s like the Dad I’ve always wanted and needed — appearing out of thin air. “I’m sure though…let’s do it.”
——————
[Tuesday, July 2, 2002]
The courtroom wasn’t as Jordan expected it would be. All the shows she had seen on TV featured large marble halls with huge wooden thrones ensconced with perches for bailiffs and witnesses on either side. But this one was much more modern, bright, and simple even though it was in an old building downtown. It did feature a wooden wall behind where the judge sat — which wasn’t much higher than the main floor. Other than that however, it looked like a classroom with regular metal and leather bound chairs, weird steel dividers for different sections, teal carpet, and bright white florescent lighting. She didn’t like it. It felt like a dentist’s office.
She had missed much of the morning’s conversations because she was only thirteen. No one thought it appropriate for her to hear a great deal about how the couple’s finances would be divided, who would keep the house and furniture (Sally after all) or the van (Sally again) or the savings accounts (split down the middle). She had also therefore missed the bulk of Emma Smart’s final report to the judge.
As the young and inexperienced social worker had laid out her findings before the judge, she had stood behind the counsel’s table confidently upright holding a pencil in one hand and looking down casually at her notebook on the table. Her findings had been as follows. First and foremost, she had changed her initial investigation finding against Sally Reynolds from ‘inconclusive’ to ‘unfounded’. In Ms. Smart’s opinion, the mother of three clearly hadn’t been sexually abusive or neglectful. Obviously, the habit of diapering a thirteen year old (when most kids that age wouldn’t be wearing such things at all) was quite unusual. But in this case, Emma reported to the court that from all measures (academic, social, psychological, physical, etc.) the girl isn’t maladapted to it and in fact seemed to be quite agreeable to her medical diagnosis, the ‘treatment’ for it, and her mother’s involvement in that.
Emma had gone on to describe her misgivings about the initial reporter, Melissa Cooper (who wasn’t in the courtroom that hot summer July day). She talked about how her motives had clearly come into question during her investigation and that she had obviously been caught in a lie about a situation involving Jordan and diapers over at Ted Reynolds’ home early after he and Sally’s separation. This information had been news to both of Jordan’s parents and each of them had acted quite surprised after hearing it. Furthermore, Melissa demonstrated obvious anger toward Sally and a bent toward malicious revenge. Given that none of Jordan’s doctors or other medical personnel who were aware of both her diagnosis and Sally’s involvement in her care had initiated CPS reports, Melissa’s credibility as a ‘whistleblower’ was further in question.
After she had finished her report, the judge (who had been with Sally and Ted all along through their tense divorce proceeding) briefed them on what Jordan would be invited to do during the next section of the hearing. She said, “In just a moment, we’ll invite your daughter Jordan in; I understand she’s out in the waiting area? Correct?”
Sally and Ted both nodded.
“We don’t want this to be too hard on her and I’m going to ask of each of you to not be in the courtroom while this it place. She’s going to give her statement to Emma and I and the court transcriptionist and then you’ll be able to come back in. We’re in the process of writing some new laws that will allow for teens to do this kind of thing in contexts outside the courtroom where it’s more comfortable for them — but it’s just not there yet — so here we are. For right now, in order for it to be part of the legal record, she’s gotta say it in front of me.”
They nodded again and headed out of the courtroom.
“Before you go. You both need to know that her wishes aren’t written in stone… I’m allowed to take them into consideration but I will be making the final ruling on custody considering all the facts that have been presented so far.”
Sally blurted in as she turned around for the judge’s second phrase, “But I thought she just said the case against me was totally unfounded!? How can you use any of that nonsense against me now in terms of custody?”
“You need to watch yourself Mrs. Reynolds.” The judge’s eyes were like darts immediately glaring down the middle aged woman on the front row. “I’ve put up with just about enough of your mouth over the course of this case. You’re out of order right now…”
Sally blanched at the rebuke while the judge continued, “But to answer your question, Ms. Smart’s finding is only with regard to an indictment for child abuse. She found no grounds for such a cause. However, in Washington state law, the court is expected to consider the conduct of both parents during the entire course of their marriage, and the impact of all parental behavior on the children as a basis for its decision on custody. This would include the behavior that Ms. Smart elucidated in her report, even if it didn’t reach the level of an indictment for breaking any law. The court certainly frowns upon a parent who is even accused of abandoning his or her child, having been physically, sexually or emotionally abusive to a child, having had a history of domestic violence, or having had other criminal convictions. But it also frowns upon what it might consider to be a lack of judgment on either parent’s part at any course during the marriage.”
Sally started to open her mouth in protest but the judge interrupted again, “Right now would be a time to actively choose good judgment Mrs. Reynolds, and keep your comments to yourself.” She said smiling firmly.
————
Jordan was in the courtroom for less than a total of twenty minutes. The judge’s questions had been to the point yet somewhat maternal in tone. Notably shifting from her hard edge presented toward Sally, she became kind — even sweet. Not many questions were needed however to ascertain Jordan’s wish, and in short order both Ted and Sally were called back into the courtroom.
Jordan returned to the waiting area.
Once everyone was back at their places, the judge pounded her gavel one time and began speaking. “The findings of the state in the matter of the abuse allegations notwithstanding, I have found Mrs. Reynolds’ behavior in this courtroom over the course of the past months to be disruptive, shocking at times, and concerning. While there hasn’t been clear evidence demonstrative of abuse or neglect, I have reason to question her emotional stability and perhaps even her judgment at times.” Looking directly at Sally the judge said, “However, this could be said for all of us at times in our lives and it doesn’t rule us out for parenthood in the state’s eyes. Ma’am I really must advise you to get some attention from mental health professionals for handling your emotions better. Your outbursts and fainting spells have not been indicative of good coping skills. I appreciate the stressfulness of this season in your life; but these behaviors are simply not acceptable and will not help your children be successful in life.”
Sally turned red in embarrassment and rage but said nothing.
She continued, “With all that being said, your character references: friends, family, coworkers, teachers from school, and pastors, all rave about how wonderful of a person you are and how devoted of a mother you are. Even your estranged husband added a reference for your skill — which seems odd in a contested custody divorce such as this. It’s hard to look past these things even in light of what I’ve observed. Your two younger daughters appear very stable in your home. You have adequate childcare and it seems that you and Ted have worked out a somewhat amiable visitation schedule with them. You’re working full time now and so you’re able to support them financially which is essential.”
Sally nodded, feeling some of her anger dissipate. Yet the fact that the Judge hadn’t mentioned Jordan was concerning. Ted noticed the same thing and wondered if that meant that she was dividing custody somehow.
She continued, “As for your oldest daughter Jordan, while it seems that the same situation would apply for her in terms of stability in your home Mrs. Reynolds, she’s made it very clear that she would prefer placement in her father’s primary custody.”
“What!?” Sally gasped out loud in shock and unable to control herself. Ted’s eyes bulged wide and looked over at his estranged wife in horror first, then surprise, then happiness.
“Mrs. Reynolds! Another outburst from you and I’ll hold you in contempt! Knock it off!” The judge shouted from the bench, clearly at her wits’ end.
Sally nodded meekly.
“The decision of the court with regards to custody will be unusual then — but given the circumstances I don’t think out of order. Primary (but joint) custody for Miranda and Jennifer will be granted to Sally with biweekly weekend and weekly weeknight visitations for Ted. Primary (but joint) custody for Jordan will be granted to Ted with the same visitation rights for Sally. I’d suggest that it be arranged that visitations are set so that the sisters are able to spend most weekends together. You’ll have to figure out the exact schedule with one another — but of course if you can’t, I can settle it for you as well.” She glared at each of them. “This arrangement seems in the best interest of everyone. Sally: to help better manage her delicate stress levels in addition to separating her from any potentially questionable contact with her daughter even though all the charges were determined to be unfounded. Jordan: to accommodate her reasonable preference. And Ted: to allow him full and regular access to each of his children.” She went on to describe the basic financial ramifications of the arrangement.
Sally’s face contorted into an ugly frown and then tears began to flow as if she were a two-year-old denied her favorite stuffed animal. As the judge mashed her gavel on the bench and called for a recess until after lunch, Sally dropped her head and resorted to loud sobs, filling the courtroom. Ted couldn’t help but feel empathy for her as he also was filled with fear and apprehension for the somewhat unexpected turn of events. He certainly had been open to the outcome, but wasn’t at all planning on it actually occurring.
He walked over to his estranged wife and attempted to put a hand out to comfort her — she swung at it in rage. “Get away from me you bastard! YOU’VE DESTROYED EVERYTHING!!! YOU’VE WRECKED OUR WHOLE LIVES!!! I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY NOW!!! I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY” As she seethed she got up and stomped out of the courtroom into the hallway.
“Sally! Stop! Sally!” He yelled after his stunned silence at her vehemence wore off. The father and CEO chased her out of the coatroom.
In the hall, he could see her marching toward the exit stairwell, Jordan sat in tears in a heap on the marble floor. “Sally! Wait! Stop!” He called out and she slowed to look back toward the two of them.
Jordan looked up at her Dad pathetically — telegraphing him silently every hostile and threatening word that had been doused upon her by her mom in the hall.
“What do you want more from me Ted? What possibly more could you want to take?” She spat as she took a step back into the hallway at the top of the stairs.
“Sally, I didn’t want for it to be like this. I wanted to fix things. I know I did wrong. But I didn’t call CPS…”
“Oh shut up! Quit lying! You’ll pay for that! Your lying… God will judge you Ted.” Her self-righteous indignation blinding her. “This is ALL your fault. EVERY BIT OF IT. ALL YOUR FAULT. QUIT LYING!!! JUST QUIT LYING!!!” She screamed.
Even though Sally hadn’t precisely done much to produce their initial separation or Ted’s affair, she was completely unable to take any responsibility for her role in any of what had transpired over the past year. From Sally’s perspective, she was 100% victim and Ted was 100% aggressor. The story colored everything in her mind. This too fit her new idea of legalistic faith: no room for failure, or for grace. Implicitly in her mind, if anyone made a mistake, God would punish them as he had done to her for diapering Jordan in the first place. The standard is perfection. Period. Forgiveness is only available in the context of penitent perfection.
“Sally I’m not lying. Melissa and Brian filed the report behind my back. I wouldn’t make that crap up about you in a million years. Didn’t you hear the social worker in there? Even ask Jordie, I wasn’t trying to get her to come stay with me ever…I mean…I didn’t even know what she was gonna say today. The only reason she’s at my house right now is that you refused to come get her at camp after all those horrible things happened — and then you’ve been so mean —”
“That’s it TED! I’m not taking one more bit of ABUSE from you!” She barked, unable to even stomach the suggestion that she had misbehaved in the least. “And YOU young lady. When the time comes, AND IT WILL, you better come crawling back to me with a pretty good apology. Because, I’m not just gonna let you move back into my house without it! This kind of betrayal doesn’t just go away! You’ve lost a LOT of trust here.” She glared at Jordan who felt her Mom’s shame like a weight around her neck. Little did Jordan know at that moment — that the shame was indeed her Mom’s and not her own. It would take years for the young adolescent to figure that out.
Without hesitation, Sally then turned and marched down the stairs with her head held astonishingly high given her behavior. Once she turned the corner, Jordan burst into tears and Ted curled to the ground, engulfing his daughter in a huge embrace. She cried for a long time, thanking her Daddy for defending her, for being willing to let her move in with him, for taking care of her. He said little but simply hugged his little girl and cried like a baby.